AIBU to put chilli on his fingers?

[Creamcrackered1]

Hi, my 5yr old is biting his nails really badly so much so that they are frequently swelling with infection and needing lancing. We have tried stop-and-grow, but he just nibbles through it and don't know what else to do. If it was just nail biting, I wouldn't mind, but they get so painful and infected that he sobs when he washes his hands. Someone suggested rubbing a chilli on them as a stronger deterrent... would that be unreasonable?! He is very shy, but has lots of friends and is very happy so don't think there is a big psychological issue to deal with.

[VertiginousOust]

I'm tempted to order myself one of those chewy bangles and see if it helps me give up!
I would say it's perfectly possible to be a non-anxious nail-biter, I've never had any trouble with anxiety, it's just a habit.

[Creamcrackered1]

Apologies MiscellaneousAssortment - I was just a bit shocked by the responses that were coming up. If I'd known that Chilli does more than just taste really really hot, I wouldn't have asked the question to start with. I gave him a teething bracelet so he could play with the beads, but didn't help and then he broke it! However, I might get a necklace for him to use over the summer with a teething chewie thing on (I have them for my 9 month old) so maybe he'll chomp on that instead.

[Solasum]

Re aloe Vera, in antiquity, they used to cut it, wait till the sap ran yellow, then anoint wounds with it. It turns them yellow then black but supposedly aids healing. I have tried it on a few scratches, and it did seem to heal faster than usual.

[Rainatnight]

I was a very anxious child and bit my nails constantly. I didn't get any help and grew up into an anxious adult who has battled all my life with it.

Behaviour is language. What's he telling you?

[Waterlemon]

My son goes through phases of clothes chewing and nail biting

These have really helped to deflect the chewing. Might be worth a try?

chewigem

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Oi! I thought my post was helpful too

And to shine my halo with more helpfulness... Our vet told us to paint our dogs stitches with Tabasco to stop him nibbling at them. It was almost healed, having spent ages on one of those dog neck cone thingies, sooo, we did (this was when I was growing up, yonks ago), and it failed miserably, he just chewed on through and completely opened up a 10 inch wound on his hind leg. Poor dog. He took one look and just froze, crying whimper wrong very quietly and refusing to look at it again... I think he realised that it was bad, poor thing. Anyway, I slept on the kitchen floor with him that night to comfort him until we could get to the vet early that morning.

My parents then tried the same thing on my nails and had a similar effect (without the horrendous open wound!)... Ruddy nothing!

My point being: A determined biter will nibble on through whatever nasty taste is put on there. A determined biter will just push on through and just lost in that moment actual damage doesn't act as a deterrent. Whether dog, not or teen :)

Ps the moral of that story is to satisfy the need with something else, don't expect anything else to work!

Chew toys and twiddle toys for the humans, and smooth cotton gloves to help skin to heal and protect at night. And for the dog? Endless cone collars, with no parole for good behaviour!

[isthistoonosy]

I've reported your post asking for.it.to be deleted ar your request op.

Also if you need help.finding waterproof gloves that are very hard to take off pm.me as I know I've a pair somewhere so can look the brand up for you. Good luck getting it cracked

[ricketytickety]

I think you report your post for it to be deleted.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

I think it is perfectly possible to get to adulthood without knowing the effect chilli has on skin: my parents and sister don't eat spicy food, none of them will ever have cooked with a chilli. Maybe coincidental but they are quite stressy types with anxiety issues too. My DSis is a very bad nail biter. She is very outwardly happy go lucky too, but hopeless at trying new things.

I do think you are underestimating your son's psychological issues though. I have a 20 year old thumb sucker, she is very happy and extrovert, proper life and soul of the party. But she is really not good at handling stress, which has only become apparent as she has got older.

And thinking about it, everyone I know who bites their nails is a very anxious person, some hide it better than others.

[maxeffort0satisfaction]

what the fuck is wrong with u u insane cruel person? take him to the doctor and explain it and if it persists take him again to the doctor and explain it. ffs.

[Alibobbob]

Glad your feeling more positive. Please try the chew knecklaces or some other sort of chewelry. I hope you get this sorted soon.

[SuckingEggs]

Hmm. I'm shocked you can seriously have no idea that chilli is hot.

What did you think it would be like?

[BlossomHillOne]

How can you have got to adulthood without knowing that rubbing chill in your eye is not a good idea?

[Creamcrackered1]

Thanks for the more positive responses. I would have been clearer in my op, but didn't realise that I'm the only person without experience of chilli in my bits or my eyes ;)

He doesn't have a self harm issue, he's a very happy little boy who nibbles his nails when he's concentrating on things and they get infected. He didn't chew it into this state, the infection swelled it and then the skin peeled. I've tried rewards with no luck so will give gloves or plasters a go over the holidays and see how it goes. I was worried that the plasters would get soggy when he washed his hands and make the skin worse, so might try gloves first.

Now to find out how to delete post - don't usually post on here so didn't realise the negative response!

Thanks again for all constructive feedback and for info.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

OP, have you ever had lemon juice in a paper cut?
Chilli on sore or tender (let alone broken) skin is like that times a million.

And yes you can feel it on your eyes/on your genitals even if they're perfectly healthy. Buy some strong peppermint shower gel and try using that on your bits. That's not even remotely close to how excruciating chilli would be but it will give you a sense of why we're all so horrified.

Fair enough you've asked because you've no experience of chilli, but you didn't say that in your OP.

If you really want to know why everyone is so utterly appalled at the idea, chop up some chilli seeds and then rub your eyes

[snorepatrol]

I know this probably sounds stupid but would some sort of reward work, like if he lets his nails grow you will buy him a toy that he wants?

I know my sister was an awful nail biter (she still is I'm afraid) but when they (nails) were at their worst which was about on a par with your boys my mum would put plasters over all her fingers and tell her she would get a specific toy if she grew them.
She asked the teacher to keep the plasters on at school too but I don't know if they would these days.

It always worked temporarily until she was old enough to learn not to bite them to such an extent.

She still bites now, as does my husband and my son. It's a tough habit to break and there isn't always a route emotional cause most biters I know do it out of habit or boredom.

Ignore the flaming op if you have no idea what chilli is like when ingested and someone who you respect has suggested then you wouldn't know how horrible it would be.

I think you took the sensible option by asking others for further advice rather than just stick it on with the best intentions and hope for the best but in think some posters on here love being outaged.

I once got chilli in my eye and had to go to A&E for a eye rinse it took about 2000mls of saline washout to get my eye to stop stinging just to give you an idea how hot it is bit if you don't know then at least you asked.

[Footle]

Chili was used as a punishment for children where I lived in Africa long ago. Horrible atrocious idea. OP, don't kid yourself, your child has some serious anxiety issues if he's self-harming to that extent.

[NeedACleverNN]

Aloe Vera should be ok but I would seek a doctor's advice first.

If you can't see a doctor this quick try your pharmacist.

Go to any chemist and ask the person at the till for a quick word with the pharmacist

[Creamcrackered1]

Thanks Alpacalypse and Solasum! Is aloe vera definitely okay to use (before I ask another clanger!)?

[Solasum]

On completely healed fingers, you could try aloe Vera juice (fresh from the plant) on the nails. It is horribly horribly bitter. I think you need a different GP though, I don't think they have done enough to help you

[AlpacaLypse]

Although you put this in Children's Health you mentioned AIBU in the title - I'm afraid it always brings out the worst of the keyboard warriors! Hope your son's fingers heal soon and you find a way to help him stop.

[Creamcrackered1]

This pic is the worst it's been and we did go to the gp who let it run it's course and had no suggestions other than to threaten him with a big needle if it happened again (not ideal!) He generally has 3 or 4 fingers with bulgy green edges at any one time. I suspected it might be a bit extreme as imagined it would be very hot on his mouth. I posted on here for advice as i don't use chilli and didn't know. The person who suggested it generally very sensible and said it had worked for her child (with none of the side effects you described) however, she must have just been lucky.

Given that there's no way I would have put it on a sore finger and obviously not when it was like the one pictured and that I sm gettging sick of being trolled for asking a question - I'm going to delete the thread. However, thanks Dinosaur and Alibobbob for good ideas - I'll give them a try. The rest of you - I'm glad you've never asked a stupid question in your life and that you are all true sanctimommies. I have never harmed my children and never will - if you can't be a bit more supportive to each other, why don't you just piss off. There's enough shaming going on without having it on here.

[insan1tyscartching]

Your poor boy, have you taken him to a Doctor it looks really painful? To get some idea about what you are proposing I suggest you put some chilli on a tissue and use to wipe inside your nose or your bum hopefully. even without broken skin. you should get some idea of how painful it would be.

[KleineDracheKokosnuss]

DH once chopped some and then went to the loo without making sure it was all off his fingers. He's a strong man, and can tough out most things, but it was almost too much even for him.

Get proper medical attention and gloves.

[Houseconfusion]

Sorry but that an adult has no idea about what chilli feels like and posts a picture of very very sore and broken child fingers asking if she should put chilli on it - is all slightly out of the ordinary context and people are bound to be gob smacked.

Yes chilli on fingers,chilli in eyes if he touches them, chilli on his penis if he wees. It's mind boggling that an adult wouldn't know that chilli is chilli and it burns and stings.

Genuinely hope you can get to the bottom of what's causing your sons situation and I hope to goodness he recovers soon. But no, you can't really blame people for being shocked.