Hi mabelbabel I have posted loads about DS1's ties before because they caused him no end of problems. Mainstream HCPS are pretty clueless about this stuff. Been there, got the T Shirt!!
When he was about 2yo, I suspected he was tied, but he (eventually) breastfed ok and his speech was fine, so I thought no more about it.
He was always ill, endless stomach bugs, poor sleeping - snoring and bouts of apnoea, he was a fussy eater and was a bit anaemic, he had congestion and noise in his ears and some hearing loss, He was mouth breathing and his tonsils were massive. He often just seemed like he was ill but I could never put my finger on what was wrong.
As I mentioned downthread, he started complaining of reflux like symptoms when he was 5yo, but looking back, I think he had been suffering all along but had not been able to verbalise it. He would only eat soft or sloppy foods. He would sometimes just take a bite or two then say he was full. Yes, he probably was full, but he was full of air, not food!
I read on here that there was a link between tongue tie and reflux-like symptoms. I investigated further and learned that with the incorrect tongue movement during swallowing, it is possible that air is swallowed when eating causing bloating, but also the air can come back up, bringing stomach contents with it. I remembered back to when he was a baby and often thinking his stomach was massive. I see now that it was full of air. He had been put on Gaviscon and Omeprazole at 5yo, but neither did a great deal for him. He had an endoscopy which showed irritation and some type of crystals forming that were related to the reflux, but nothing else.
We had his tongue tie revised under GA which was ££££ but it stopped his reflux symptoms overnight. I later learned that although his reflux had stopped, his ties had not been fully revised. Clearly enough had been released to improve the swallowing, but he still did not have full function.
We went several month later to a dentist who had specialised in ties and he gave us a full assessment and said there were orthodontic problems which needed addressed. He was almost 7yo at this point. The tongue shapes the palate during the time in the womb and beyond. If the tongue cannot function correctly, the palate remains high and narrow. This can cause breathing problems - the palate restricts the space needed for the nasal passages so mouth breathing becomes the better option. Mouth breathing lengthens the bottom jaw changing the whole orofacial structure. DS1 was very flat across the nose and cheeks (not that you would notice unless you knew what you were looking for) and his bottom jaw was already bigger than his top one - it should be the other way round. The high palate was also restricting the space for the eustacian tubes and I am fairly sure that there was gastric fluid up there from the reflux. He had been consistently congested for 18 months before the reflux stopped, and after revision his ears were clear at the next audiology appointment.
So, he was revised again - properly this time with laser and local anaesthetic, started orthodontic treatment to expand his palate and wore headgear at night to draw out the flat section and his upper jaw.
It didn't take long before he stopped snoring, mouth breathing and the bouts of apnoea. Our orthodontist is fantastic. He is also an osteopath and he pointed out a curvature in DS1's neck, possibly caused by the tension created by his ties. This was having a knock on effect on his hips, knees and ankles. He straightened him all out and he stopped complaining of sore hip and ankles all the time. The dentist also regularly manipulates inside his mouth. I was never very sure what he was doing, but at the last appointment, he said that ds1's cheekbones were tight and the palate expander would not work so well unless he removed the tension.
It has been a long road, the orthodontics are almost finished. He will need fixed braces when he's a teen, but it will be very minor compared to the extractions and god knows what else he would have been facing without this early intervention.
There are photos on my profile of his ties, but bear in mind that appearance is not terribly relevant when it comes to ties, it's all about how the tongue functions.
Is there anything else going on with your DD2 that might point to ties? How old is she?