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Children's health

4 week baby in intensive care - losing my mind

126 replies

Frecklesandspecs · 09/12/2013 19:59

My 4 week baby has bronchiolitis and this morning took a turn for the worse. I took him to A and E and all the Dr s were called.
He wasn't breathing properly and they think he May have stopped breathing for a bit while waiting to see them.
Anyway he has had tubes put down him and was transferred to kings in London.

I've been at home with my other two sick kids while dh has been there during the transfer. I had planned to go and stay with him tonight but they don't have any available accomodation for parents.

I don't know what to do. Do I go and sit in the hospital ?
Stay home?
I'm really upset.

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Frecklesandspecs · 09/12/2013 23:39

Update....thanks for all your messages of support. I arrived here about an hour and half ago and have been given a lovely room!
I haven't been able to see him yet though.
Yes he is in children's critical care so they Will tell me when I can go in and see him.

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CinnamonPorridge · 09/12/2013 23:44

I hope you can see him soon. All the best!

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LoveSewingBee · 09/12/2013 23:44

Glad you have managed and have been given a room. Hopefully you can go and see him soon.

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happytalk13 · 09/12/2013 23:48

I don't have any experience but just wanted to give you a hand to hold.

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WhereIsMyHat · 09/12/2013 23:55

Aww, not, I hope he starts to improve son. When my son had some breathing loss at 5 weeks if was able to stay on a put up bed. It's so sad they don't have such provisions at kings for such a tiny and unwell baby.

Thinking of you.

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WhereIsMyHat · 09/12/2013 23:58

Oh and if you are BFing request a pump, the hospital ones are good. They should store your BM for you and feed you too.

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CocktailQueen · 10/12/2013 00:09

Thinking of you and your wee one. Lots of hugs to you all.

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clucky80 · 10/12/2013 02:48

Hi Freckles, so glad you have somewhere to stay :) hope you have seen your DS by now and he is doing ok. Try and get some rest too, you will need your energy for when he is recovering and comes home xx

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saffronwblue · 10/12/2013 03:03

So glad you are there with him. You are both in my thoughts.

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ajandjjmum · 10/12/2013 04:16

Hope you're all doing ok.

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CiderwithBuda · 10/12/2013 04:23

Very scary. Glad you managed to get there. You will feel much better being closer to him.

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CatchesTheNightTrain · 10/12/2013 04:32

My daughter was hos

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CatchesTheNightTrain · 10/12/2013 04:36

Sorry don't know what happened there.

I'll start again!

My daughter was hospitalised with bronchulitus at 5 weeks old at Stevenage hospital. This was 8 years ago.
Our situation sounds very similar to yours, older poorly children at home etc etc.

As a breastfeeding mum they had to provide accommodate for me, which was a fold out bed in her room. She was in intensive care for 2 weeks very poorly .

She is now a big strong robust 8 year old and fully recovered - just to reassure you, then can and do make a full recovery, as terrifying as it is at the time.

They have to provide bed space to you if you breastfeed, but even if you don't it only seems the decent thing to do.

I was expected to provide all her care (nappy changes/ washing) and cuddles. A four week old is quite needy and nurses simply don't have the time or facilities to provide more than nursing care.

Sending well wishes and hope your little one gets better very soon.

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CatchesTheNightTrain · 10/12/2013 04:41

Interestly looking at the date, my daughter got out of hospital with her bronchulitus on the 11th December 2005, certainly the time of year it strikes!

Have just caught up on posts and so pleased to see you've been given a bed.

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technosausage · 10/12/2013 07:58

Couldn't read and run, hope everything is ok x

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FuckyNell · 10/12/2013 08:15

How's it going op?

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Frecklesandspecs · 10/12/2013 08:18

Morning! Well tbh its really not possible to stay in there. It seems to be just quick visits in and out. I can't pick him up or anything. In fact I can't do anytjing but look at him really. I guess the babies in there are that ill. He is totally out of it. Still on ventilator and tubes and lots of sedatives.
Its quite scary but I know he is getting round the clock constant care from the best people.
I feel helpless. No wonder my dh wanted me to stay home but I'm glad I am at least in the same building.

My accommodation is seperate and tbh they don't even have chairs in where the babies are.
Ty everyone for the replies - been reading them in the night!

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Frecklesandspecs · 10/12/2013 08:22

My accommodation is like a hotel room. I feel bad for complaining now when dh told me they had none. The hospital is lovely. The staff have been fantastic from when I got to my local A and E to here.

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Katiebeau · 10/12/2013 08:27

I didn't want to just read and lurk.

I really hope your baby rallies soon. It's awful I know but this care does help them whilst their body fights that terrible virus.

Take care of yourself too.

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onlysettleforbutterflies · 10/12/2013 08:28

I hope your little boy gets better soon. Thinking of you all.

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5HundredUsernamesLater · 10/12/2013 09:26

Firstly, Good Luck. I hope everything goes ok.
And secondly I know from experience that whatever age the child and however poorly they are most hospitals promote family centered care and like you to be there and actively take part in caring for your child. Even when my daughter has been on a ventilator I was always encouraged to help the nurses where possible with washing etc and have always been provided with a bed or reclining chair at her bedside.
Parents accomadation is in demand especially at the larger specialist hospitals where more people are away from home and not many hospitals can meet the demand. They usually operate some kind of waiting list system so once you are there you can put your name down for a room. While your child is so ill you may want to stay at the bedside but its still worth putting your name on the list because as things improve you may want to go and get a good nights sleep and know you are close by if your child needs you. All the rooms I have stayed in have a bedside phone linked directly to the hospital so you can be contacted straight away.

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5HundredUsernamesLater · 10/12/2013 09:28

Have just read that you now have a room at the hospital. That's great, I hope everything goes well for you and your family.

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pudseypie · 10/12/2013 09:36

Glad you got a room. I know it's hard not being able to pick him up, I couldn't very often when my ds was in hdu, but at least you are nearby which will reassure both of you. Will they let you put an item of your clothing in with him so he can smell you? They should have breast pumps available do you can express and they will refrigerate or freeze it.
Thinking of you both and wishing the little man a speedy recovery x

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MrsWedgeAntilles · 10/12/2013 09:45

Morning Freckles, hope you're holding together and your wee one is looking better. Every time DS has been admitted every minute has been a minute I wished it was all over and he was back at home driving me potty.I've never known time to go so slowly but it did pass and he is currently driving me potty :)

As a nurse I can be very critical of hospitals but I though Kings was amazing. The staff were very kind and extremely good at what they did for us, all the way from A&E to the support we had afterwards. I couldn't think of a better place for him to be.

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clucky80 · 10/12/2013 10:37

Hi Freckles, GOSH intensive care is the same, well there are 2 chairs for you to sit in but you are not allowed to fall asleep in the chairs at night. The nurses there really encourage you to rest and we were more often than not the only parents there through the night and that was more on the few nights when DS was particularly poorly. DS was the youngest there at 2 weeks old (we were in the pedeatric ICU) and it is very scary as they don't really look like they are themselves on a ventilator. They are suprisingly strong though and even though DS was on ventilator and sedated, he would get very cranky when he had things done! DS had a lumbar puncture on day 3 in GOSH as he wasn't responding as quickly as he should have been but thankfully it was ok and he came on in leaps and bounds. I don't know Kings but the specialist hospitals are amazing. We actually live in London (Northern end of Picadilly line) but when we were being transferred from our local hospital we were told it would be to GOSH or Addenbrooks in Cambridge or St Mary's in Paddington. We found that we would go up to DS in his bed, stroke his hair and hands and talk to him and then just sit down again, before going up again.... We weren't allowed to do any of his 'cares' at first but as he started to get better we were encouraged to give him a little wash, change his nappy etc. at times I just wanted to pick him up (we weren't allowed to hold him either) and run away with him so you have my every sympathy I really do know what you are going through. Please remember to take care of yourself too xxx

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