7yr old DD with anxiety tummy....

[nelehluap]

My youngest DD, who is 7, was very poorly with a horrible persistant sick bug just before half-term and was off school for ten days - she had the S&D but also temperature, terrible throat and was generally very poorly. She then had the half-term (one week) and went back to school on Monday of last week - first day back.

She's also had constipation issues so has been to the doctors about that a couple of times and is now on lactulose which is helping but I need to increase her dose because it could do with helping her a bit more...she's currently on 2.5ml..I'm going to up it to 5ml this evening.

Last week she cried pretty much every morning before school. Somehow I managed to get her to go into school and once in there she's ok altho still had a very occasional gripy tummy but on one day (Thurs) the school rang me at 2pm to say she was crying about her the pain in her tummy. I went over to the school - she'd not eaten her lunch either - and brought her out of school. Once outside the school she perked right up - ate all her lunch and spent the afternoon playing happily with no tummy pain at all.

This last weekend she played all weekend - she went swimming, she ate all that I put in front of her and was still hungry. She has had some really good nights sleep and we've stuck to our bedtime routine religiously.

This morning she was fine until I suggested she went and put her school uniform on - she started to complain about her tummy and begged to stay at home. I persevered and managed to see through the tears and tummy ache and got her into school - I don't disbelieve she does have tummy pain but I knew once she'd got into school she'd calmo down and would be ok.

The school rang me about an hour later and she was settled and happy.

For a start I hate putting a child into school who is clearly unhappy and crying. It pulls on my heart strings so much. I always swore that my kids would come first and its so hard to be 'cruel to be kind'. She does have a friend who has been quite cruel to her in the past (verbal) but their friendship is very up and down and whilst she managed to say something quite bitchy to DD2 last week DD2 has overcome that one and ignored the comments. I have spoken to DD2's teacher about the comments and so they are aware.

What do I do? I can't keep having a child who is clearly unhappy to go to school. She's told me she wants to stay at home - I work 6 mornings a week - I can't have her at home and I would worry she'd miss out socially. The school she goes to are very understanding, helpful and very open-armed with issues like this and will go out of their way to help...but crikey I'm stuck on this one.

Anyone got any advice? Ideas? I've another DD (she's 13) and she did have IBS when she was about 8-9yrs old....could it be IBS? Is it genetic?

[jubilee10]

I had a similar thing when I was seven and I can still remember a G.P. telling my mum I was putting it on but fortunately my Mum believed me she said 'you know your own child'. I used to be fine every morning then the pain started at some time in the afternoon and I would vomit at some time in the evening. I was eventually diagnosed with stomach migrane and given tablets (not sure what - Mum says chlorpromazine but i'm not sure she's right) and It went away. To this day I have a sensitive tummy. Although I didn't think I was worried about anything at the time I can now see there were a few things happening that I could have been worried about.

I have since heard of several children with this.

[onepieceofcremeegg]

I had similar as a child and it was horrible. The trouble was, if I was off school with anything more serious then I would be horribly anxious on my return with tummy ache etc.

Could you ask the school for the number of the school nurse/nursing team and discuss it with them?

Sometimes a slightly upset tummy can go on genuinely for weeks. So she isn's seriously unwell and unable to attend school, but anxious with some tummy ache.

I am sure you are doing this already, but calm from you is the best response. Give her time to talk about any anxieties. In fact when my own dd has a "wobble" I say quite kindly but matter of factly that lots of people/children get worried/have tummy ache (or whatever) and the best thing is to try and relax and distract yourself.

[sneezecakesmum]

DD had a similar issue when she was around 6, following a bout of D&V. Tummy ache, intermittant diarrhoea were the symptoms. It was investigated but nothing concrete found and she eventually settled back into school. She tends to mild anxiety and today as an adult, has a gippy tummy when anxious.

[Al1son]

Poor little thing! The pains could be real even if they are simply caused by anxiety about school. She also may be feeling stressed in school even thougth she appears to be fine to the staff.

Have you found an opportunity to talk about this at a different time away from time pressures? She may be able to let you know what is worrying her more easily when she's feeling less anxious.

I found it quite revealing when I asked my DD2 to design her perfect school. No budget or logistical constraints, just exactly right for her. I was surprised at how clearly this communicated her needs so it might work for your DD too.