Terrified of what I'll say in labour

[thisismyfirst]

I am 38 weeks, and have had lovely healthy pregnancy (physically) but very upsetting (emotionally).

I am absolutely terrified of childbirth - the pain - the 'transition stage' - all of it, and I'm most worried about what I'll say in labour. I'm worried I'll say things I don't mean. I'm worried I'll blame my DH; I'm worried I'll say I didn't want the baby in the first place; or say things that aren't true.

Does G&A, or just the pain itself, really make you say things you don't mean or that aren't true; or worse that ARE true but you wouldn't want to admit them in a million years? Please help me. I can't sleep for worrying about labour.

[teafortwo]

dinenr??? - dinner - typoitise - sorry

[HarryAndRon]

"Actually the anglo-saxons use of gas and air is really laughed at and seen as terribly cruel and old fashioned!"



don't knock gas and air until you try it....

tis like 10 G&T's in one hit.....and one of my reasons for having more babies.

I would never call it 'terribly cruel'.

more like 'the best invention ever'.

[sagecat]

Apparently i swore a vast amount during the contractions then spent the rest of the time apologising for swearing . I had every drug going and remember waking up (i was there for a while) with a contraction and demanding lemon in my Gin and Tonic

[Twinklemegan]

You know, you might find you withdraw into yourself and really don't want to, or have the energy, to say very much at all.

I did a great deal of screaming early on (sorry), but when into transition and the second stage I think I was concentrating too much to say anything to anyone.

[surreylady]

I apparently told the young man that came to do the epidural for DS (my first) and then sat down to discuss the pros and cons - to get on with it now sonny - and that when he had reached the age of puberty or indeed been in my place himself we could discuss the finer points - I am generally a polite person - (honest) and have no recollection of this - my DH was firstly amazed that I said it and also by the look of amazement on the poor young mans face as he complied and then left in a hurry - he remembers the whole incident fondly.

[BabyStarlettsBeautiful]

Twinkle Have you read my birth story/announcement? Starlight x

[solidgoldbrass]

I got absolutely ripped to the tits on the gas and air but talked utter surreal bollocks about clowns and cuckoo clocks, no deep dark secrets at all.

[BuckBuckMcFate]

I know where you are coming from. When I was pg with DC3 i really worried that I was going to say during labour that I was going to hurt the baby when it was born I horrified myself for even thinking it as I knew I had no intention of doing anything to it IYSWIM

I managed to work myself up into a right state over it and have never said anything to anyone in RL about the thoughts I had about the things I would 'reveal' during labour.

When the time came i had a lovely birth, spent most of it laughing with DP, only growled at the midwife once when she suggested that DP go to A&E becasue I had broken his finger from all the squeezing

I honestly didn't have any of the horrible thoughts that I'd convinced myself I would have.

HTH and Good Luck!!

[TeenyTinyTorya]

To be quite honest, you won't be worried about it at the time, and you probably won't do anything too awful. The worst thing I did was tell the anesthetist to get a fucking move on and give me an epidural. I did apologise to him as soon as I was no longer being ripped apart sideways.

Don't worry!

[bethoo]

i just remember that everytime i pusked i kept asking ''have i done a poo?'' even then that was all i was worried about!

[EyeballsintheSky]

Nothing you could say would be as embarrassing as me saying to DH 'I think you might have to wipe my arse. I've shit my pants.'

Now that was . Luckily the MW had fecked off for a bit but I think she got a turn later!

Did I just say any of that out loud??

[AnnVan]

Oh dear! - I'm thoroughly overdue with my first so I'll probably be going through this some time this week, whether baby FINALLY gets its arse into gear, or whether we have to boot it into gear by induction. hmmm. Nice to know what I have to look forward to.

[ghosty]

I have been known to say all sorts of ridiculous things when I come out of a GA - One memorable time I clutched a nurse's hand as I woke up and told her she was an angel from heaven and she saved my life (I had had a D&C, hardly a life saving OP ) I then went on to say that Florence Nightingale was my hero and I always wanted to be a nurse. I remember hearing my DH's voice say, "Sorry, but she is always a bit delirious after an anaesthetic. She's talking crap. She is squeamish and feels faint at the sight of blood."
re. what you say in labour, I think everyone forgives a labouring woman don't they? I told DH I hated him when I was in labour. He didn't hold it against me ...

[greenlawn]

Eyeballs and ghosty, you have so made me laugh!!!!

God I loved gas and air - I was clutching the handset thing like my life depended it. The mw prised it from my fingers when I got to 2nd stage though, and if I'd had any breath left in me I would've sworn at that point ....

On a separate note, DH refused to try gas and air, despite my assurance that it was fantastic! Yet a friend of ours had a sneaky drag every time the mw wasn't looking and got off his face - very enjoyably apparently when not in pain.

[rolledhedgehog]

I really don't think you need to worry. The worst thing I have ever said in three labours was 'fuck' and that was after finding out I was fully dilated 5 mins after getting to hoapital and therefore I could not have the epidural I wanted (2 pushes later baby was born with no more pain anyway!).

Some women say some odd/funny things in transition but lots just go in on themselves and are very quiet and lots of women don't have a defined period of tranisition. I have never experienced it.

Also you won't care what you have said once it is all over and you have your baby in your arms!

[heather1980]

i talked utter crap during labour and got quite upset that they wouldn't let me go home when i wanted, but dd was crowning at the time. no deep dark secrets revealed

[FabioBigBangBlackHole]

someone on mn bit her doula

OP have you thought of seeing a hypnobirthy type, might put make you less worried?

[FabioBigBangBlackHole]

NB the biting occured in the throes of labour, not the initial interview - that would be weird

[Ewe]

I went nuts at my (trainee) consultant as she told me she had concerns about my mental state and how I would be with my baby after the birth after I got very very angry with them for not listening to me!

I really let rip at her and was warned of zero tolerance policy but I had a bad experience. Nobody cared anyway though! I think they are used to labouring women being a bit crazy.

[wotulookinat]

Ah don't worry about it - the midwives will have heard it all before. I demanded that Eastenders be put on the TV and then shouted loudly to tell everyone that I had weed on the floor and threatened to kill myself. The midwife didn't bat and eyelid and DH was trying not to laugh.

[janestillhere]

With my first I said 'if this is what its like, i'll never not have contraception again...
With my second when the the midwife told me to breathe, I said 'I am fucking breathing ...ok?'
You'll find afterwards all the memories seem surreal but what we all guarantee it all pales into insignificence when you baby arrives. Really excited for you! x

[charitygirl]

I'm 39 week with my first and I confidently expect to say both the things you mention - but my DP will know I don't mean it and that the baby won't know or care. I really don't think it matters - whatever gets you through. Don't worry!

I remember reading an extractr from Cherie Blaire's autobiog where she said all she could think about re: her husband as she was giving birth to her first son was 'I hate that man.' Which made me laugh.

[cyteen]

Funnily enough, I didn't say anything untoward. Didn't tell DP I hated him, didn't particularly swear, didn't come out with loads of random rubbish...I feel cheated The most forceful thing I said was when my birth centre midwives were trying to cajole me to push some more after several hours of knackering, fruitless effort and I wearily said "Look, he's not descending. I know he's not, and you know he's not, so just transfer me to hospital." They were a bit taken aback, I think. (I was right though )

The thing I was most anxious about pre-labour was shitting the bed/table/whatever. As it happens I did poo a bit and was amazed at how thoroughly I didn't care.

DS is now sleeping soundly on a cushion next to me and I can happily confirm that the minute the baby is out you will forget and forgive everything your body has put you through Good luck!

[TotalChaos]

I was off my tits on diamorphine at one point - worst I said was to babble on about my rings (!) and ask for an epidural during transition. I didn't swear or say anything nasty about DH and baby. Don't worry.

[cwtchy]

This thread has made me laugh - and reminded me how much I love gas & air! I went quite quiet apparently. All that was in my head were thoughts of squirrels and morse code. I was still giggling about the squirrels when I was being stitched up; it goes without saying that it was the most bizarre experience of my life.

Thisismyfirst, I hope you are not worrying so much now, I don't think your brain has enough room to be spilling dark secrets when it is dealing with labour!