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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

I need help with this !

15 replies

reynold · 04/04/2024 17:47

Midwife appointment tommorow midwife said she will email the antenatal team to discuss elective c section. Does anyone know what happens after this? I’m in West Yorkshire UK if anyone can give me insight that’s from the same place as I know different places offer different stuff, also exprencies on after c sections, how did you cope changing /feeding going up stairs to go to the toilet etc? I want an elective c section as my health anxiety is crippling right now. But I’m so scared for how ill cope after I have 3 other children and after my partner goes to work 2 weeks after I’ll have to do school runs , the walk is 10 mins away not far at all but to get to my front door I have to pull the pram up 4 steps, I’m scared I won’t be allowed to do this.. there’s no other way to get into my garden ..

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 05/04/2024 05:14

I had an elective c section but in Scotland so can’t comment on the next steps for what happens when you request it.

In regards to recovery, everyone is different. With my first c section I was able to slowly get out and about. With my second, I was able to move around within a few hours of giving birth. I was home the next day and was able to get around my house easily. I could manage the pain with normal pain killers and could do short walks by day 4.
Ive been able to get upstairs and down stairs, with ease but just slower than normal. I can change my baby but find it easier on a higher surface (changing table) rather than on the floor. Feeding my baby is absolutely fine but I use pillows to try prop my up a bit.

I then got an infection with knocked me back and was on bed rest for over a week. I did need quite a bit of support to care for my toddler and baby during this time.

Sadly I’ve not been able to lift my toddler at all. I have no strength to lift her and when I’ve tried I’ve been in a lot of pain. I can push the pram but wouldn’t be able to lift it. I’ve been told to hold off in lifting anything heavier than a kettle until I’ve hit the 6 week mark.

Everyone’s recovery is totally different, best thing to do is move about when you can but take your time, drink lots of water and rest whenever you can rest!

PoppingTomorrow · 05/04/2024 06:08

I had an ELCS in January. I could definitely not have lifted a pram up 4 steps after 2 weeks. Maybe after 6 but possibly not. A walk that used to take 10 mins before pregnancy definitely took longer , possibly 20 mins, 2 weeks after the procedure. Probably OK after 6 weeks.
No experience of wrangling other kids, as this was my first.
Suspect it's not what you want to hear.

Can anyone else help - other parents, family, neighbours? Flex time for your OH? Could you get a ramp for the steps?

Overthebow · 05/04/2024 06:35

To be honest this is one of the main reasons I didn’t want an elective c section. We have no help close by and a toddler. There’s no way I could have done nursery runs and looked after her properly after a c section and DH back at work after 2 weeks. Do you have family who can help or can your DH take a month off instead of 2 weeks? If not then I’d rethink the c section.

Original poster
reynold · 05/04/2024 06:52

Hi guys, I have no family close enough to help me as I only speak to my dad. My partner can't take more time off work as it's a new job so it's a probation time he hasn't accumulated no holidays yet which is unfortunate

OP posts:
MumChp · 05/04/2024 06:55

I had an emergency c section with my 3rd child. Recovery wasn't worse than the first two. Just different.

CurlewKate · 05/04/2024 14:27

It was a long time ago for me, and I hesitate to offer any advice. BUT what helped me, and which doesn't seem to be a thing any more, is being told that it was normal for milk not to come in properly for about 2-3 days and a full term healthy weight baby had plenty of reserves to be fine with colostrum for that time. So just to keep putting the baby to the breast and not to panic or give formula-they'd get enough to keep them going. It certainly worked for me.

Original poster
reynold · 05/04/2024 18:05

@CurlewKate aw unfortunately I don't want to breastfeed x

OP posts:
ConfrontationDoesntHaveToBeScarey · 05/04/2024 18:08

I had two c sections and my partner took 3 weeks off both times. I definitely wouldn't have been able to do the school run after 2 weeks. Everyone is different though.

Original poster
reynold · 05/04/2024 18:27

@ConfrontationDoesntHaveToBeScarey I really wish he could but unfortunately he can't due to it being a new job and no accumulated holidays before 6 months :/

OP posts:
Overthebow · 05/04/2024 18:56

Can you pay for a home help or babysitter to do the school run for a couple of weeks?

westcountrywoman · 05/04/2024 19:37

How old are the other children? Are they all school-age? Can you other parents if they can help with school runs? I know if someone posted similar on our class WhatsApp groups there would be an abundance of other mums and dads willing to help.
Are your older children old enough to help get the pram in and out the house for you when you need to go out (obviously not for the school run as they won't be with you when you get home)?

Nursemumma92 · 05/04/2024 19:50

Hi OP,
Do you know any of the other parents of kids at the school that walk your way? It's worth speaking to them and asking if they would be willing to walk your kids to and from school if needed. You may be ok after 2 weeks but everyone is different and I expect you'd feel a lot better knowing you have an option if you need it.

Even if you don't know many parents, if you have any class WhatsApp groups, you could ask on there. I'd happily help someone out on the school run on the days I'm off if they were struggling.

Also it is worth your partner applying for unpaid parental leave for another couple of weeks? I know he hasn't been in the job long and he isn't automatically eligible for this reason, but employers can grant it at their discretion so he has nothing to lose by asking.

The other thing I was thinking is that if you can't get any help and he can't have any time off, is to carry baby in a sling. This again could be difficult depending on your recovery but a wrap sling tied above your incision may be something to try as carryig baby this way will be safer than you carrying the pram up and down steps.

All the best with your new addition.

Original poster
reynold · 05/04/2024 21:27

@Nursemumma92 hello, I don't speak to nobody at school so I wouldn't trust anyone with my children unfortunately, unpaid work wouldn't help as he's the only earner right now so rent etc wouldn't be paid, it's the start of an apprenticeship so it's a lot different unfortunately

OP posts:
allfurcoatnoknickers · 06/04/2024 14:46

I had an ELCS with #2 and was going the school run on foot 5 days later. Since it's only 10 minutes, maybe you could wear the baby? I had a baby who refused to be put down, so I just wore her everywhere, all the time.

I had to get my pram up 1 step and it was fine.

CurlewKate · 06/04/2024 19:46

@reynold "CurlewKate aw unfortunately I don't want to breastfeed x"

I'm so sorry-I must have posted on the wrong thread.🫢

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