I’m 6 weeks pregnant and think I have Tokophobia. So far I haven’t enjoyed pregnancy, i’m 30 and my bf is a lot older so I thought it might never happen when we started trying but it took 3 days to get pregnant lol I wasn’t really prepared! My booking in appt is in 2 weeks but I am constantly worrying, googling things, thinking I’ll have a MMC or molar pregnancy or the baby will be disabled. I have a condition which makes me produce too much cortisol which I don’t think helps things.
I have major issues with childbirth as I think vaginal birth in itself is vile and I have never wanted it - I have always wanted an elective section. Nothing about birth appeals to me and I don’t see it as an achievement. I have always said I’d rather have a GA and miss the birth then go through with it which is bad but you get the idea.
Not to mention shoulder dystocia, episiotomies, tears etc, and at the end of the day what happens if you can’t get a baby out the ‘natural’ way? Section. I’m not an idiot either I have worked as a neonatal nurse so I have some experience with the whole area, unfortunately I saw a lot of what should have been healthy term babies die after birth because of brain damage from a vaginal birth.
I feel at my booking in appointment my midwife is going to have her work cut out. I know NICE guidelines say I am able to be offered one, my main issue is if I don’t as no doubt in my mind I will be permanently stressed throughout the pregnancy and no doubt at risk of PND. I’m fed up of always worrying but feel like a freak because everyone else thinks differently. I want to enjoy my pregnancy and look forward to it but right now I struggle to stay positive and it’s spoiling things for my OH.
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Childbirth
Pregnant and bad tokophobia
6 replies
WhizzingFizzbee · 20/09/2019 21:15
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