Birth debrief service

[butterwithtoast]

Has anyone used a birth after thoughts/ debrief service? I had my little girl last week and have been referred to the hospital's debrief programme as it was a fairly traumatic delivery. I wondered if anyone could share their experience of what their debrief involved, whether it was helpful, and how long after giving birth you had the meeting?

[butterwithtoast]

Thank you for sharing, that's really helpful. I'll definitely be pushing to get an appointment in the next few months, and I'll get my husband to come along as well. I think it will really help to have a clearer idea of what happened and what decisions were taken. My baby was found to be breech at the point where I was pushing her out, so it was all very fast and chaotic, with a dash from the birth centre to theatre, although I managed to deliver her vaginally. It was all over in an hour, so a lot is just a blur of panic and fear tbh. Hopefully a bit more information will help me to deal with what happened and feel a bit less upset about the whole mess.

[LittleNougat]

And I think 6 months is too long. IMO it should still be fairly fresh in your mind.

[LittleNougat]

Mine was 2 months after. I did find it helpful. Some things I was glad I read on here beforehand were not to expect an apology or admitting any wrong doing.
As PP said, there was some "sorry you perceived it to be that way" covering of backs etc. However I felt it was good to hear the timeline of events and also to say my piece about what happened and the staff members involved.
What I said probably went no further but it made me feel better to get it off my chest.
Please ensure whoever is doing it has your file in front of them. I was slightly fobbed off as she said she had read the file and made her own notes but didn't have them to hand.
Good luck and

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

10 months after a very long labour which ended in a traumatic emergency section.

I didn't find it particularly helpful, partly I think because I'd had so long to brood on what happened. I think also because part of my trauma was reliving a previous trauma which had nothing to do with childbirth/babies on the operating table.

It was done by a Supervisor of Midwives. There was a lot of "sorry you perceived that"...which felt like she was blaming me and a lot of references to my mental health (I was diagnosed with psychosis, ptsd and pnd shortly after my son was born). She asked what I wanted to get out of it which was an explanation of why my son was stuck at full dilation and went through all my notes with me. I think I also got a few curve balls, like discovering for the first time that my uterus had torn and that they were advising always c-sections from that point onwards due to that and my pelvic architecture, something which hadn't been discussed with me whilst I was in hospital.

I went alone because I didn't want my son to see me getting so upset and dh needed to look after him. I would advise taking someone with you.

[user1493413286]

My DH couldn’t come as he was working but they offered to talk to him on the phone

[user1493413286]

Mine was 6 weeks after the birth with the midwife counsellor and 8 weeks with the consultant. The one with the midwife was about talking about how I felt whereas the consultant took me through everything including why certain things happened and why decisions were made and we also talked about my next pregnancy. Both were helpful in their own way but the consultant one really helped me understand what happened to me and reassured me for my next pregnancy which I was very anxious about. I did have a very complicated pregnancy as well as traumatic birth so I don’t know if you get both all the time.

[Bees1]

Yes we both went, think he needed it more than me to be fair!

[butterwithtoast]

@Jenda I agree that six months seems a really long time to wait. My health visitor said it's usually best to leave some time so it's not as raw and u have some distance, but that seems like too long to leave it.

[butterwithtoast]

Thanks for your replies, and sorry you had difficult births too.

@Bees1 when you say we, did your partner attend the debrief too? I hadn't thought about that, it's always been discussed as something I night find helpful, but my husband is feeling pretty shaken by the while experience too so that would be interesting if he could join us.

[Easterbunnynearlyhere]

I had an emcs and after an attempt at being bullied into a tubal tie I had one. And an apology.
I read it lessons the chance of pnd to discuss a difficult delivery.

[Jenda]

Hi OP. I also had my little girl last week following a traumatic delivery and have been referred to the same service. My midwife advised me not to go until 6 months ish because it is too raw and hormonal at the moment. I think that is too long to feel horrible about things so interested to see what other posters say. Really sorry you had such a difficult time of it, I totally get it

[Bees1]

Sorry to hear you had a traumatic time. Mine was 6 weeks after delivery with a supervisor of midwives (think our hospitals policy is that it isn’t someone who was involved in the delivery) she read us my notes so going through the delivery step by step explaining what had happened and why as she went with plenty of time for us to ask questions. At the end she then discussed what would happen next time to prevent the same trauma recurring i.e. in my case elective c section for all future deliveries. We didn’t feel we needed any additional support after that meeting but I understand that additional meetings with an obstetrician and also counselling/CBT are all on going options within our trust for additional support if needed.
Hope it goes well.