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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Is there really any point in writing a birth plan?

72 replies

sprite25 · 01/08/2017 16:50

I wrote a birth plan when pregnant with DD and when in labour and giving birth, the midwives basically ignored all my wishes and just did what they wanted anyway. Now I'm 32 weeks pregnant again and thinking is there really any point in writing a birth plan if it just gets ignored anyway? DH knows roughly what I would and wouldn't prefer this time round so can speak up for me if need be.

OP posts:

vanillacandllle · 02/08/2017 15:26

I don't see any point in a birth plan.

Every woman will have an idea of how they want things to go, and that's fine, but they should go into child birth with a completely open mind and do what ever gives them and their baby the safest outcome.

Don't want pain relief? Fine. Give it a go without. But if you end up exhausted and not progressing after several hours or even days, you need to consider what is going to make you more comfortable and able to carry on.

Don't want any intervention and a completely natural labour? Great! But if your baby gets stuck or is in distress, they will need assistance making their way out.

I have known women who have written very specific plans and what they do and don't want. Then when it all went the opposite way they spent ages being down about it despite having a healthy baby that may not have been so healthy without deviating from 'the birth plan'.

NameChange30 · 02/08/2017 15:55

vanilla
I think you and the women you refer to have missed the point of birth plans.
It's useless if it just says "I want a natural birth with no pain relief."
But it is helpful if it says "If I decide I want pain relief I would prefer to try gas and air first and then have an epidural if I feel I need it. I do not want pethidine." (For example.)
It's helpful if you consider different scenarios and what your preferences might be for each one. Obviously you can't predict or plan everything but it is a good idea to consider a c-section for example and whether you might want your DP to do skin-to-skin afterwards if you can't.

Celticlassie · 02/08/2017 17:41

I found writing mine useful as there were terms I didn't understand on the template so I could look them up, so I felt better informed. I also talked it through with DH so he would have an idea what to expect / what could go wrong, etc.

As it happened it was barely followed as DD was back to back, so my plan for a water birth was ditched (by me) in favour of an epidural! The midwife had clearly read the plan though as she told me the pool was available straight away. Later on when forceps became a possibility I said nothing as was willing to do anything to get the baby delivered, but it was the midwife who said to the doctor that I'd specified no forceps on my birth plan, and that was respected.

So overall, I think it's worth writing it as they SHOULD read it.

oatybiscuits · 02/08/2017 21:50

My planned water birth became an induced forceps delivery, but a lot of the smaller things I'd asked for- dimmed lights, calm atmosphere etc, were respected and I'm pretty sure most of the people coming in and out read it. I was one of only 2 people on a usually overflowing labour ward though, which I'm sure helped.

Sheila56 · 03/08/2017 14:34

I didn't have a plan, just screamed get this baby out of me!..Was slightly more circumspect with the rest of my children..

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 03/08/2017 14:59

My birth plan said: "I would like X but you are the expert so please do what is necessary to get my baby out safely."

I didn't care about dim lights or insisting on no students (students have to learn somehow). I was very lucky that my midwife was a family friend (and very senior) so she pre-empted what I would want and did that for me. She didn't give me an epidural straight away because the current anaesthetist took an age to do anything apparently and the next guy due on was much better. I hope, when I have another baby, that she will be able to be my midwife again.

stargirl1701 · 03/08/2017 15:08

Yes, I do. I was very clear on what I did not want and expressed it as 'I do not consent to...' with DD1.

With DD2, I knew what was useful to me in labour so I was more specific. I know that I need low lights, no talking at all, a birth ball/mat or water, etc. I wrote turn off the lights, do not speak to me, I took my own birth ball.

With DD2, I also wrote a post natal plan which was useful too.

PsychoPumpkin · 03/08/2017 15:14

I wrote a very detailed one for my first, a 'go with the flow' one with my second & didnt bother at all with my third.

I don't think there's much you can really plan. Baby will come out one way or another & you'll do what you need to do to get them out safely if it comes down to it.

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 03/08/2017 15:17

The only thing I put on my birth plan was for the midwives to be aware that I labour VERY fast and that if I tell them baby is ready to come they NEED to believe me and not disregard me as a previous midwife did.
Also I wanted baby to be delivered into my own hands if possible. Turned out that baby delivered herself anyway as she was born within seconds of entering the delivery room.

PsychoPumpkin · 03/08/2017 15:17

Also on my first birth plan I wrote 'only gas & air' but begged for pethidine (sp?) in the end and my midwife said 'but it's not in the birth plan!'. At that moment I wanted to burn the bloody thing. Kept it though and had a good laugh when I read through it a few months later.

honeysucklejasmine · 03/08/2017 15:26

Didn't bother with #1. Baby wasn't going to read it and I was consultant led anyway and happy for them to do whatever they need to do to keep us both safe.

My thoughts for #2 are much the same. I'm v happy with what happened last time so may jot a few things down about it but I don't really care as long as we're all healthy.

ohlittlepea · 04/08/2017 07:04

Its good to have a basic one but to be prepared to be flexible. Midwives are generally nice people and should respect the plan where possible. But i do think the more specifics you have the more likely you are to be dissapointed. A no students rule should always be respected. I had 2 at my delivery but each time was asked if they could be there.

My birth plan was this.
During: go with the flow
End results: healthy baby, healthy mum, vagina and anus to remain seperate.

driveninsanebythehubby · 04/08/2017 10:51

Is say worth it. My first birth plan simply said "I will follow whatever the midwives recommend, but I would like to avoid having an epidural. If possible, I would like to use the birthing pool". As it was my first time, I didn't know what to expect so figured the midwives knew best - and they were great.... I used the birthing pool and no epidural.

My second was a full page and a bit plan! After my first I knew exactly what I did and didn't want. When we arrived at the local birthing centre (first was at a hospital though) and it was established that I was in labour, a midwife came in and sat down with us to go through my birthing plan. She read it all and asked questions as sort of "what if this" type of thing.

They followed my birthing plan to the letter and I was incredibly grateful. Even remembered that I'd said if I had birthed in the pool, I didn't want to try to get back into the bed to deliver the placenta and when I had to get out of the pool to check that everything was ok, they put mats etc on the ground to make me comfortable and not have to climb up.

My third (and definitely last) I don't remember much of. I had a birthing plan, but it was assumed that I was at the birthing centre again. They sent me over to a big hospital for no legitimate reason at all - the hospital asked why had I been sent there, I explained that my bp was 140/80 and it was just below their limit, and the mw rolled her eyes and said it wasn't the first time they'd sent people over when they actually fulfilled the criteria to stay there! FYI, my bp had been that in all 3 pregnancies, stayed the same all the way through and had not changed during labour with my first 2.

Anyway, I don't remember anyone reading my birth plan but I was in so much pain and a bit distracted they could have read war & peace and I wouldn't have spotted it! I'm guessing they did read it actually because I started asking for an epidural and the mw reminded me that I didn't want one and so I had pethadine - which did sweet fa and I still begged for the epi, so the mw asked my husband who said "she'll be fine, she doesn't want one really" (twat - he also got the gas and air taken off me when I was pushing because he decided I wasn't using it correctly..... I have never forgiven him for either of these things). The worst thing? Afterwards I had to go into theatre and they HAD to give me a spinal for that! Grrrrr........

driveninsanebythehubby · 04/08/2017 10:52

*I'd say not Is say - autocorrect fail

BoredOnMatLeave · 04/08/2017 11:18

I did some birth preferences. Which the midwives read and took on board. I said I didn't want any diamorphine but they convinced me to change my mind during labour which I am glad of.

Sounds like I was very lucky though. I would do the same for the next birth.

divadee · 04/08/2017 11:52

With my first 19 years ago it was a waste of time. The just did what they wanted. This time round I had a home birth and the home birth team stick to the birthing plans very strictly round here. After the birth when I was rushed into hospital they still followed my birth plan as much as possible (I have a massive phobia of hospitals. It causes panic attacks in me). I have to say I got amazing care this time around.

MeltorPeltor · 04/08/2017 11:55

My only plan was for an epidural. No.1 was prem so there was no time.

This time my plans are for an epidural and the MW to hold a towel/flannel and apply pressure to my perineum to avoid tearing, although I need to do more research into this first.

I would like all the drugs though :D

trappedinsuburbia · 06/08/2017 21:09

Don't think I had one the first time round or I can't remember, had students in, I was out my face on gas and air and had a great laugh when I wasn't in agony!
2nd time it was basically get the baby out safely and try and keep me in one piece. I did say no to the student midwife, just wanted as few people around as possible.

SaltySeaBird · 06/08/2017 21:13

First one was pointless so I didn't do one the second time.

My advice is don't bother

HeartStrings · 06/08/2017 21:35

I never bothered with a birth plan with either of my two DC. Labour is extremely unpredictable and I think if things don't go the way you wish you can leave you potentially feeling really low about how your birth went.
I like to play things how they came about during labour and go with the flow.
Having said that I'm currently pregnant with DC3 and again not having a birth plan BUT I will be asking for a water birth. I had one with my DD and was amazing.

Tigger001 · 07/08/2017 22:28

I delivered my beautiful little man on 1st Aug , a week +2 early. I would definitely recommend a birthing plan, this will keep you calmer during labour with a clear view of what you want. It will also help your birthing partner to confirm what you want and ensure midwives comply with it. I was very lucky my midwives followed my wishes exactly. I did say to them "I am aware of all the pain relief available and will advise when or if any is required as we go through the labour " I didn't want a great deal of pain relief and the constant asking if I required any and I lasted just on my gas and air, but knowing I had my plan kept myself and my hubby calm.

stepbystepdoula · 09/08/2017 14:46

I think a birth plan is still a good exercise, it can prompt discussions between you and your birth partner about your wishes and give you an opportunity to check they understand.
If an advocat is needed to speak up for you, have a look at doula UK. Doulas provide support during labour and birth, their entire focus is on you, they can remind medical staff of your plan.

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