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Childbirth

Do they let DP stay with you overnight?

45 replies

justanotheryoungmother · 29/03/2017 13:29

After you have the baby does everyone have to go or can your DP stay overnight with you? I'm not sure where he'd stay when I got out into the ward? Or does he have to go when you go into the ward?

OP posts:

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EdgarAllenPoe · 05/04/2017 12:47

At my local hospital in Nottinghamshire dads can stay overnight, even on the shared postnatal ward, no matter what. They don't provide a bed though. I desperately needed my DH and he slept on the concrete floor for the first night. The midwives felt sorry for him after that and found him a reclining chair for the second night. Uncomfortable but better than nothing.

It differs from hospital to hospital - you have to find out your local policy.

BringMeTea123 · 04/04/2017 10:57

Hi, not sure when you're due and if you've had baby yet or not. Thought I'd let you know what happened with me.

My LO was born in October, I was induced. My baby was born 7am so my partner was allowed to stay with me all day. I wasn't sent home until the following evening as I had a very high temp and baby wasn't feeding. He had to leave about 8pm the day baby was born but was allowed back the following morning. You're only allowed 2 visitors at a time I think too. I was in my own room but my partner was the only person allowed on the ward outside of visiting hours. My mum was sent off. My mum came back at visiting hours but she had to leave before they would allow my partners mum and dad up to see us. They seem pretty strict on it all!

Lules · 31/03/2017 12:45

The birth centre had double beds too.

Aliveinwanderland · 31/03/2017 12:39

I never went on to the ward and was discharged straight from the delivery suite so had DH with me all the time. Had I gone on to the ward DH would have been sent home.

Lules · 31/03/2017 12:37

No, in the private room I had they had a couch bed thing with proper sheets/blanket. The room was fairly big.

2014newme · 31/03/2017 12:34

Thing is, even in a private room they'd be sleeping in a chair. Possibly for the second night in a row. What use is a knackered partner who hasn't slept?
It's really hard to sleep in hospital anyway with the noise and lights. I had war plugs and was exhausted and it was still hard!

welshweasel · 31/03/2017 12:27

I was in a private room too post c section but DH still wasn't allowed to stay.

2014newme · 31/03/2017 11:53

I had private ensuite room fir my months stay, no cost, but dh partners still couldn't stay.

Op as you can see there is a huge range, you will need to ask your own hospital.

Lules · 31/03/2017 11:51

In lots of places they have private rooms you can pay for and then your partner can stay. If you can afford it or can get family to pay for it instead a present do it. It's the best use of money I've ever spent. Or some birth centres are all private rooms so your partner can stay, but if you have a high risk pregnancy etc then you prob won't be able to use them.

2014newme · 31/03/2017 11:50

I had c section, was very ill necessitating further operation and had premature twins in nicu. Dh didn't stay over. To be honest he would get a better night sleep at home and there's no point in you both being knackered. But regardless of that partners can't be accommodated at our hospital.

welshweasel · 31/03/2017 11:46

As others have said, it depends on your hospital. Mine was only allowed between 9am and 10pm I think. I was in for 3 nights and to be honest it was good for DH to go home and get some proper rest so that when we went home he was able to help me properly as I was knackered!

NSEA · 31/03/2017 11:46

Both times my dh was allowed to stay but I had serious issues that led to interventions and csections etc. So needed his help. If we had had a straightforward birth I am not sure what their policy would have been.

2014newme · 31/03/2017 11:43

You need to ask the particular hospital.
Mine didn't. I was in for a month. There was not partner accommodation.
Many women go home same day anyway.

FurryElephant · 31/03/2017 11:41

The hospital I gave birth at, whoever was your birthing partner was allowed to stay overnight on the postnatal ward and if you didn't have a partner staying you would be put in a different bay to those that did. I didn't have to stay long enough to go to the ward though

namechange20050 · 31/03/2017 11:04

Your husband may well be allowed to stay. It will depend on the hospital; ask your midwife.

RuskBaby · 31/03/2017 10:58

I have mixed views. Mine was thankfully allowed to stay as baby was rushed to SCBU early hours of the morning and I was still connected to drips & catheter so luckily he could go too. I had an extended stay on antenatal and there were men that that didn't need to be, one snores so badly it was insane. The lady then kept moaning she wanted to get out so she could go to their other child so could have sent the DF home to be with them and save us all from the snores.

MrsNuckyThompson · 31/03/2017 10:53

Many units will let him sleep in a chair beside your bed.

Please be respectful however and make sure he doesn't snore, use the patients' bathroom or wander around too much!!

SpookyPotato · 31/03/2017 08:23

In my hospital it is visiting hours only, which was 10-10 so very generous! I'm glad it's like that, it was bad enough waddling around hunched over and bleeding to the toilet while there were people constantly in and out of the ward.
I had DP stay with me overnight with our first but we had a private room, that was bliss.

LillyBugg · 31/03/2017 07:56

This thread makes me so grateful for my local hospital where all post natal rooms are single occupancy. Incidentally I still sent DH home so he could get some proper sleep and tidy up my waters which broke all over the lounge floor the house. I would hate to have gone through that first night with a whole load of strangers wandering around.

sonlypuppyfat · 31/03/2017 07:46

It's lovely to have you're husband there but everyone else has to put up with them too! So no I don't think it's fair to have men there all night

babynelly2010 · 31/03/2017 07:42

Depending on hospital. First baby was born in the birthing centre at 9:30pm. We stayed together on double bed that they provided in every room. Second baby was born in birthing centre in different hospital at 3:30. There was no proper bed in the room, DH stayed after all checks were done and went home, took a nap, came back with oldest mid day.
This one, we are going to consultant lead unit in another hospital. Postnatal wards are with 3 bays each, DHs allowed to stay. We will be asking for private room however. 3 women, 3 babies and 3 men in a same room does not sound all that great :(

Sundaygal · 30/03/2017 16:44

My DH could have with my first at the one hospital as they kept me in the labour suite ... but it had been a long labour, baby was born in the morning so by evening he was tired and he went home to sleep. The second (at a different hospital) he had to go home as baby was born after visiting hours. It felt like he was rushed out and I didn't like that at all as it was really quiet and no other babies born that night - didn't see any other labouring ladies so not sure why the rush... But understand in a shared ward after hours. So this time - hoping baby is born in the morning

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DirtyDancing · 30/03/2017 14:18

Yes in some hospitals. My hospital in south London does allow Dad's to stay

scaredofthecity · 29/03/2017 17:42

My DH stayed but I think it was only because the postnatal ward was full. So we stayed in the delivery room, me on the bed, and him on one of those birthing cushion things.

TheHobbitMum · 29/03/2017 17:41

I had a traumatic birth with my 4th baby, Husband was allowed to stay with me(and my other kids if I wanted them too) but I was placed away from the ward to help come to terms with the birth (DD had damage from birth). I was actual placed in the maternity bereavement suite which was like a small flat, set off from the corridor as they felt it was better for me to be away from the hustle of main ward. No other times has DH stayed but never needed/wanted him too.

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