Is it really as bad as what people say?

[blondehair]

Hey,

I'm 18, and am due with my first baby at the end of July. Obviously I have never been though this before so was wandering if labour is really as bad as what most people says.

I'm not looking forward to the labour, although I'm not scared about it either. I have spoken to some family members and friends that have had babies, and 99% of the time, the answer had been "it's the worst thing ever", which is putting me off quite a lot.

I've also found that some of the people I see as tougher, have found it worse. Obviously all labours are different, but I just wanted to know what everyone experiences were like.

Hoping to get some positive stories out of this too haha.

Thanks x

[lanbro]

I was lucky because both my births were fairly quick, 5hrs first time and 2hrs second. I only had gas and air. Obviously it hurts, but to be honest I found gallstones more painful!

Advice would be to not get to hung up on a birth plan!

[desperatelyseekingcaffeine]

Don't have too strict a birth plan - no one knows how a labour will go on the day and too many people feel they've failed in some way because they didn't have the birth they planned. Fair enough to have an ideal situation in mind eg water birth no pain relief, or things you are sure you would never want. Otherwise be open to other options of pain relief, CS if necessary induction etc. No birth is a failure whatever happens - and most people go back for a second go!

[Mrscaindingle]

Each labour is different, my first was long and very painful, second was much quicker and only painful for the last hour or so.

I was given a good piece of advice which really helped me when I was worrying about how I would cope, that it's just one day (at the most) so even if it's bad it will all be over and you'll have your baby. It sounds obvious writing it down but it really helped me to focus on the end result rather than the birth itself.

[Losgunna]

It hurts but it's definitely not the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Agree with pp about ankle injuries hurting more. Far more. And for much longer too.

It felt like very very very bad period pain until the obstetrician had to turn ds's head as I was pushing. I was induced which is apparently more painful than natural labour but it was still bearable. I got an epidural because I was terrified of the pain but it didn't work. I still managed to have a nap in the middle of it!

Even with that labour was far less traumatic than being pregnant for bloody forever 9 months

And the relief when it's over, seeing your baby and being able to sleep on your front again all make it even more bearable.

Congratulations!

And remember you can do this, there is nothing to be scared of, you don't have to be in pain and at end you will have a lovely squishy newborn

[Purplebluebird]

For me, it was about 100 times worse than my worst nightmare. Sorry! I was all prepared for hypnobirthing, being in the water, etc etc. The water was really helpful, as was the breathing techniques. But I am sticking with 1 child, birth was a factor in this decision.

[chocdonutyy]

Yes it hurts but it's different with everyone and you can never predict how it will go till the day.
My experience was that if had pains on and off throughout the day and sickness midwife said it was a tummy bug (on my due day!)
By 9pm ish I thought I'd better go in but was bouncing about on a ball fine, thought I was being a tad paranoid but contractions were fairly close and kind of like bad period pains, bearable though.
Got hospital at 9.50 and she was out by 10.40, just had gas and air.
Can't say it was a breeze but a lot easier than expected

[Stuffofawesome]

Take a look at some hypnobirthing videos online. Totally different to the images you currently have of birth.

[TinyTickler]

It's wasn't as bad as I expected. Just keep reminding yourself that the Iain is temporary and at the end you're going to have a beautiful baby.

The second you see them the pain is over, and you really do forget about how awful it was. Then they stitch you. You don't forget that!

[ginauk84]

There are too many horror stories and not enough positives.

I have one child, I went to a MLU and was in labour less than 2 1/2 hours with gas and air. It was fine it really was, no tearing, nothing gruesome. It was painful yes but it was manageable. We were home for lunch.

However I suffered with spd throughout my pregnancy and still do so I didn't get off that easy!

[ShelaghTurner]

Yes it is painful (I'd also take it over toothache and earache though) but it's a different sort of pain. It's hard to explain but it isn't isn't like anything you've experienced before unless you've had super super bad period cramps and that'll give you an idea. But yes to knowing it will end, knowing that there's a positive reason and largely adrenaline will get you through. Your body really does take over in a way that's difficult to describe.

[notanothernamechangebabes]

Absolutely not- I had DS 6 months ago and right from the day after, I've said I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I found that yoga and hypnobirthing in my second and third trimester prepared me well- and I didn't need any pain relief. Managed to stay at home for ages, and was ready to push when I got to the hospital.

Look for "positive natural birth" videos on YouTube and watch one every day if you can. You'll see women having beautiful, drug free births that will hopefully give you confidence that labour and birth pain is manageable.

That's not to say you ought to have a drug free birth- that's your choice - but the videos will show you what realistically the pain can be like without medical intervention.

Good luck!!! Enjoy your pregnancy and try not to let the fear and other people's dramatic accounts upset you

[Fattynoms02]

Oh and being in water does help somewhat.

[Fattynoms02]

Yes it's painful but I found it a manageable pain with the help of gas and air. Also agree with PP, time goes out of the window.

I didn't do hypno birthing but I was definitely mentally prepared. That helped so much. Maybe see if your sure start centre has any pregnancy yoga classes.

Pushing did feel like trying to do a huge poo

you are strong and you can do it

[TheElephantofSurprise]

Is it as bad? Oh yes. I thought the pain would kill me. I would die of pain, not complications. It was in 1982. I haven't forgotten that. She was born at 8:40 though and at 10:30 I was looking at the doctor thinking 'You look tasty. There's definitely space in this bed for you.' So when people say 'You soon forget', they mean, 'It's totally unimportant. You go through it, you might remember, but it's nothing compared with the joy of having your baby or the fun of being a normal-ish shape again.'

In your favour:
Youth - you are the ideal age
Time - you can plan and get ready. The relaxation and breathing exercises actually work.

If you face up to it now, and learn the skills thoroughly, I think you'll be fine. Many people manage without finding it awful. I know one or two who found it 'hard work, but exhilarating!'

Good luck.

[29redshoes]

No, not for me.

I scared myself silly by reading/listening to other people's birth stories! Try and avoid that if you can, it really doesn't help. By 39 weeks I was absolutely terrified and then in the end it wasn't even that bad.

[anotherBadAvatar]

There's a reason epidurals exist!

[picklemepopcorn]

It's intense and hard work, really hard work, but very positive too. Think in terms of running a marathon, getting cramp, wanting to stop but you are on a running machine and it won't stop no matter how much you want it to so you just keep going. I sang and breathed through mine, thought about women around the world who give birth and go straight back to work. It's a weird mix of balancing feeling in control with letting it happen to you.

[Ironwoman123]

I'd recommend hypnobirtthing. My first labour was induced. It was really sore really took A while to recover

Second pregnancy I heard of hypnobirthing and thought it was worth a try although to be honest I was doubtful.

I bought a hypnobirthing. Book which was useful but the thing that got me through was an app on my phone (see photo).

It cost £7.99 from iTunes and I listened to it most days on the run up to labour. I had a waterbirth and the full time I listened to that on repeat. It was so calm there was no screaming or shouting and I can honestly say I look back on it and don't remember any pain.

I amazed myself but it can definitely help and even I was doubtful.

[FartnissEverbeans]

Yes, it was horrendous. But I want to have another one next year!

The immediate aftermath of the birth was a big shock too. I knew having a newborn would be hard but I didn't realize how intense it would be. Your emotions are all over the place and I cried several times a day for the first month! I've never, ever felt like that before. Sleep deprivation destroyed me but you're younger so you might cope with it better.

Congratulations

[Wonderflonium]

contractions do hurt but they only last a minute. 90 seconds tops, usually.
that knowledge got me through most of them!

here are some positive childbirth stories: tellmeagoodbirthstory.com/

[BillyButtfuck]

I loved being in labour, the excitement really helped me get through the pain and I just kept thinking of who I was going through all of it for. I ended up with an emergency section after 21 hours of active labour after a non successful induction but I feel I have a really positive birthing experience. It's what you make it, I guess.

[DuggeeHugs]

Everyone is different. I had a failed induction and emergency caesarian - the induction wasn't good but the CS birth was wonderful!

[tilleuls]

Hey,
It's very painful but it's useful to think of the pain as productive, as each contraction gets you closer to meeting your baby. I also found that the time between contractions helped a lot as you know that the pain is going to end within a certain amount of seconds so I just focused on getting through each one. I also had my mum reminding me to relax my shoulders and jaw in the breaks between contactions - it helped to ground me and remind me to breathe deeply during the pauses as well as the contractions. Personally, I wish that I hadn't worried as much about labour. It goes REALLY quickly and at the end it's so incredibly worth it.

[MoonDuke]

DS1 was painful until the epidural. Then it hurt a bit but manageable.

DS2 was very very very very painful. And no pain relief. But it only lasted 2 hours (the unbearable bit).

And afterwards you forget quickly

[TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder]

It is painful, yes. But it's not the worst pain I've ever experienced. And I found it easier to bear than other types of pain because it's productive, it serves a purpose. It's not like having a migraine or toothache where there is nothing to gain from having the pain. Difficult to explain but you'll understand!

I also find that my perception of time goes completely out the window. So my last labour which was 36 hours seemed to only take an afternoon.

Congratulations and good luck, OP It will all be worth it!