Home birth - real stories or opinions?

[Nickname1980]

My previous birth experiences have been a bit crappy. Nothing major, just drugged up to my eyeballs, bed births, induced.

This time, I really want a home birth. My family (lots of doctors) are VERY against it. The opinion is it's not far off child abuse . I feel guilty that I am considering it... I just don't know what to do.

My midwives agree that my pregnancy this time is low-risk and I can try for a home birth if I want to. And I don't live far from the hospital.

Anyone want to share their home birth experiences? Good or bad? I just don't know what to do. I want to be at home so badly, it feels right, and I really didn't like the hospital experience, or the postnatal ward at all.

[Nickname1980]

It was a home birth gone wrong, Peregrina, but I don't know the details and I don't want to ask too much so I don't hear the passionate home-birth-hate from my family member!! I agree with you: births can go wrong even in hospital.

But I'm sort of thinking that's rare? Especially reading your stories - when midwives get you into the hospital pretty quickly if anything looks like it might go wrong. That makes me feel loads better.

Ouch, Petryr! im glad it worked out for you in the end! Yes being just 10 mins from the hospital makes me feel much more at ease about it!

five I don't know much about this early transfer home! (If I went for hospital). I will definitely be asking about that! So you don't have to hang around on the postnatal ward?

[Peregrina]

I thought that the 'official' advice now had changed and it was accepted that for low risk multiparous women, a home birth was as safe a choice as anywhere. It partly depends, I think, on your midwives, whether they regularly do home births, and are confident in their skills or whether they hardly ever do a home birth, and are less sure of themselves.

[IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain]

You will only be told about the one time things went wrong, not the vast majority of women who generally have a better all round experience from birthing in their own environment where they feel safe. Doctors also generally only get involved in the more complicated births so end up with a different view, generally, to most midwives. I refused induction for dc2 after a very medicalised birth the first time for similar reasons and received amazing care from wonderful midwives. I think you should be where you feel safest, within reason. AIMS are a wonderful organisation who can help with a lot of questions.

[ghostspirit]

i have had 3 home births.

1st one happend really fast and i was on my own when she was born. it was the best birth ever though.

2nd one went very smoothly. it was calm relaxed chilled out. felt very calm and in control. i cant fault it at all.

3rd i was a little scared as consultant had said due to iron levels i was high risk. she even wrote risk of death on my paper work and was almost shouting at me because i still said i wanted a home birth. i had been ok with my other births. had no history of hemoraging. agreed to everything asked to make it less risky. consultant having go at me based on my bloods that were taken (before) i had the treatment... anyway i was meant to have tablet thingys for after the birth if needed. they were nt and only lost a bit of blood.

but the home birth again was brilliant. dont most of it on my own. was a bit of a delay with midwife getting here because they kept putting us on hold and got cut of several time. partner paniked and called ambulance. they arrived. i refused to go hospital. they stayed till midwfie turned up. i had baby 5 mins after they got here.

i have had hospital births as well. in a nut shell they were all crap

[ghostspirit]

oh should add that everyone else said i was low risk

[IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain]

AIMS probably unnecessary but I've never don't a link before so thought I'd give it a good

[FourForYouGlenCoco]

2 DC, 2 planned homebirths. Decided at 20w with DD that I'd like a hb- had a useless mw through pregnancy who wasn't particularly enthusiastic (maybe because it was my first baby?) but didn't bother me. First contraction just after midnight, midwives came out at 9am and went away again. Pottered about, went for a coffee with DH, had a nap, woke up & called midwives back. They arrived at about half 3, was fully dilated or near enough. DD born at 5.45pm. One tiny tear (no stitches needed), all very easy and straightforward, they cleared up all the mess and took it with them and i was tucked up in my own bed with my new baby a few hours after birth.
DS, planned hb from the start - had moved house and was further from a hospital, but still close enough that barring a true emergency, we'd be fine to get there in good time. Had first 'hmm' pain at half 10pm, by half 11 was in a fair whack of pain. Rang midwives at about 1am, DH was in bed - woke him up at half 1. First midwife arrived at 10 to 2, second arrived at 10 past. DS born at half 2! Again, the tiniest tear (no stitches - mw described it as "a nick"), all mess sorted and taken away (not that there was much - inco sheets used to great effect!) and we were all snuggled up in bed by 5am.
Midwives were absolutely fantastic both times, couldn't fault any of them. Did both labours on just TENS (first time was in 'the zone' when midwives arrived so didn't need g&a, second time there was just no time! The midwife had barely got her coat off before DS was shooting out). Loved every single second of both my labours.
With DS, I laboured on hands and knees pretty much the entire time. When mw arrived, I lay on my back so she could feel position of baby and listen to heartbeat with the Doppler, and that was the only time in 2 unmedicated births that I ever felt the pain was unbearable. It was utter agony and I suddenly completely understood why people get epidurals in hospital. I would never, ever be able to tolerate a whole labour lying on my back. I couldn't believe the difference it made. It really hit home how even seemingly small things can make a huge difference, and how much more freedom there is at home (IME, unless you have a really good mw, labouring on your back seems to be the default position in hospital). I realise I've had luck and genetics on my side for my births (plus a naturally very high pain threshold!) but I do think birthing in hospital sets women up to fail by and large. Would recommend a homebirth every time (provided low risk, etc).
Phew, sorry for essay post! Lots to say on this!

[welshweasel]

The vast majority of home births will be lovely. Very occasionally things don't go to plan and you end up with a dead or disabled baby. I've seen the aftermath of this and it's not pretty. I think the question you need to ask yourself is whether you could forgive yourself if something happened and the outcome might have been improved if you had been in hospital. Because that's the question you'd be asking yourself forever more. I don't think home birth is a bad choice for most women but they need to think through all the potential outcomes.

[minifingerz]

Welsh - there is no evidence AT ALL that multiparous women are more likely to end up with a dead or injured baby than those women who have hospital births, so cease with the shroud waving.

And mums who have home births are less likely to themselves end up needing admittance to a high dependency unit.

[welshweasel]

That's not what I meant. No shroud waving here. I know the evidence and completely agree with the fact that home births are safe and an adverse outcome is actually less likely than if you were in hospital. The point I'm trying to make is that a small number of women will, sadly, not have a happy ending to their birth story. It's living with the inevitable what ifs. If you'd beat yourself up forever that things might have been different if you'd been in hospital (even if that's not the case) then a home birth probably isn't for you.

[Peregrina]

I'll second minifingerz statement - cease the shroud waving.

I think that the Place of Birth Survey from 2011 found that for the baby the place of birth made no difference to the outcomes in low risk multiparous women, but the woman herself suffered much less morbidity i.e. fewer CSs, much less need for pain relief, etc.. These seem to be the things which you value OP.

I would just not tell the relatives what you have booked - is it really their business? It's also much better to have a planned home birth than one at the side of the road.

[minifingerz]

Welsh, there are some women who end up with a poor outcome BECAUSE they chose a hospital birth.

Perhaps it would change the story if health professionals started acknowledging the risks of hospital births, rather than leaving mums to assume that there are none.

[Peregrina]

Again I agree with Minifingerz - so many women come out of a hospital birth just accepting that the birth going wrong was 'just one of those things'. It seems to take an absolute catastophe, as with the relatively recent Morecambe Bay Trust, for people to realise that some hospitals were causing problems or not being vigilant enough in preventing problems.

[welshweasel]

I agree, shit happens everywhere. I'm not trying to dissuade anyone from having a home birth. Statistics show it's safer etc etc. I know! But there will always be a few people who have a home birth with a devastating outcome, which could have been prevented if in hospital. I've seen it. And those families will always wonder whether things would have been different if they had been in hospital. They chose a home birth because they thought it would be a 'nicer' birth experience.

[PourTheWine]

I am one of those women who birthing in hospital is the worst thing for me, I got to 9cm on my own at home and went to hospital as planned and because I don't feel safe in hospitals my body just closed up and refused to go any further - ended up with a forcep delivery.

This time I am definitely having a home birth as I know that's where I feel safe, surrounded by my own things, pictures and smells.

I've not told anyone other than my husband and the midwives my plans for a home birth because quite frankly it's no one else's business where I birth and I don't want their opinions!

If you are planning a Homebirth I would highly recommend a Hypnobirthing course (I did the wise hippo birthing programme) and I was always in control of the pain because of the techniques they taught me X

[minifingerz]

"They chose a home birth because they thought it would be a 'nicer' birth experience."

Not necessarily.

They may have chosen a homebirth because they were traumatised by their hospital birth and feel unable to go back.

They may have chosen a homebirth to reduce their chance of ending up having emergency surgery, with all the risks that go with that.

They may not feel safe in hospital. I didn't.

[Peregrina]

I didn't feel safe in hospital, and I also felt that I could never go back to the same place to give birth. The fact that the home birth ended up being a 'nicer' birth experience was just the icing on the cake.

[minifingerz]

"I agree, shit happens everywhere"

Statistically speaking, the labour of a healthy multiparous woman is much more likely to go shit shaped in hospital. Forceps and emergency c/s are 4x more common in hospital than at a homebirth. I think women should be made aware of this fact before they choose where to have their babies.

[LittleBee23]

I had a home birth with dd2 after a long back to back labour with dd1.

It was an amazing experience. I had a lot of opposition too but once I got hubby on board that was all that mattered really. We did our research, were happy with our decision and took it from there.

We hired a pool and home birth mw dropped kit off 2 weeks before the due date.

I had a show and niggles at 39+5 and knew things were on their way. It ramped up a bit during the night and my mum collected dd1 then it all calmed down and hubby and I lay on the couch watching movies for a few hours until it got going again. Called the hospital at 2pm to let them know I'd need someone out that night, they insisted on sending someone out then but I was only 2cm at 3pm. She left, then waters went then contractions came thick and fast and hubby filled pool. I got in around 6pm, mws arrived at 6.30 and dd arrived at 7.03pm.
By 9.30pm I was in bed eating pizza and feeding dd.

I know it doesn't go that smoothly for everyone but it was a great experience for me.

[LittleBee23]

Ps I did hypnobirthing cd for both births.
I chose a home birth because I felt safer at home. I didn't have a positive first birth as the mws ignored me and told me I wasn't in labour and sent me home twice when I was in complete agony (due to her being in an awful position) then once I hit 4cm she came within 2 hours.
I was actually advised to have a home birth as my active labour was so short despite early labour being almost 28 hours. If I had tried to have a hospital birth with dd2 I would have either had her on the motorway or unplanned homebirth as by the time I realised things were ramping up, i was in transition and was unable to move.

[LulusMiniEgg]

This is really interesting to read, thank you all for your stories!

I'm currently pregnant with DC2. My first birth was very positive and took place at the MLU AT St George's in London. Arrived at 9cm, DS arrived about 1-2 hours later, I was home later that day. Perfect really.

Since then we have moved up north and my husband works in London 4 days a week and is up here with us 4 days a week. There is a high chance that DH just won't be here for the birth.

So I'm seriously considering a home birth. The thought of being in hospital alone is quite miserable whereas at least at home I will be in my own environment. My mil can take my son and I can just crack on having a baby!

[Hawkmoth]

I've had three home births and a hospital birth. I felt safer at home than at hospital, not including the last home birth when nobody got there until after the baby...

For the two attended home births I had two midwives in the room, checking when they needed to (I wasn't mithered) and knew that they were experienced and focussing on me. In hospital I got left alone, not believed and it pretty much went to shit very fast ending in a ventouse delivery with a room full of doctors.

IMO, the safety benefits are twofold. First the close attention means any problems are picked up quicker due to close monitoring. Second, you are more relaxed, comfortable and confident in your own home so it makes problems less likely.

Also midwives clean up. I don't know why, but they do.

Just do check about gas and air. For some reason, though it didn't make a bloody difference for my last one, the hospital I was under has to send it in a taxi so you need to ask early on in the process.

Any questions, do ask. I've enjoyed them all very much, even the unattended one, which felt like a party afterwards with all the surprised people on a Sunday morning!

[Iwantagoonthetrampoline]

I think it does depend on how quickly you could get to the hospital if you needed to. For me it's too far to want to risk my or my baby's health for the 'nicer' birth experience, however appealing that sounds. Yes birth is a perfectly natural thing for women to do, but it is not without risks. Things can go critically or fatally wrong very quickly in any situation. The reduced risk of needing interventions with a homebirth, such as forceps, should not be confused with risks of serious medical complications to the mother and baby's health or even survival. I couldn't live with myself if something happened that could have been prevented or resolved if we were in the hospital. A lot can happen in 10 mins.

[MoonHare]

I have given birth 3 times. Twice at home. Very positive experience both times. Didn't use pain relief during first hospital birth and found no need for pain relief at home. Was more calm and relaxed at home than in hospital and dh also found the experience at home to be more positive than in hospital. Our local mw team love doing hb and we're always v supportive.

[HelenaJustina]

Births 2,3 and 4 were at home. Fabulous experiences, chilled, personalised care... After having second baby at home I always said I'd choose that again if sensible. Loved having a shower in my nice clean bathroom, being tucked up in my bed with my newborn and left to it!