Meeting baby for the first time

[Cnmorgan13]

I'm 35 weeks with my first and using some holidays before proper maternity kicks in. So just waiting for little one to arrive. Just wanted to know what your experiences were when you met your baby for the first time. Is it true that you 'fall in love' instantly or does it take some time. Is it the same for your partners/husbands to?
I'm quite an emotional person and I'm hoping for the whoosh of emotion, and telling myself not to be too disheartened if it doesn't happen right away.

[B1rdinthebush]

I didn't experience the sudden rush of love but my birth was about as far from ideal as possible. Twins born by emergency section at 30 weeks. Twin 1 was in a very bad way at birth and both were taken straight to NICU a few minutes after birth. I then didn't see them again for several hours. A stomach upset the next day meant I was then not allowed to see them for a further 48 hours!

I remember saying to my sister the next day that I felt something was wrong with me for not feeling this intense love for them and her assuring me that it sometimes takes time. In retrospect, it's clear that I was in a complete state of shock but I think it would be helpful for people to talk more about the fact that it sometimes can take a while to connect and bond. Everything I had read whilst pregnant talked about this amazing rush I'd feel and when it didn't come I was convinced there was something wrong with me.

My girls ended up being on NICU for six weeks and it wasn't really until they were home that it all clicked into place. Needless to say I now get that rush of love every time I look at them.

[NightLark]

With my first it was kind of a feeling of peace. A really all encompassing sense that everything had stopped, and the only thing that mattered was looking into the eyes of this little creature in my arms. I also felt very strongly that I already knew him, and he knew me.

With my next, relief was the overwhelming thing, it was my easiest labour but I guess because of that also the least supported. I didn't have the same calm, as DH and DS were both there within minutes to meet her, and then I was dealing with introducing a sibling.

With the third (and last!) I was shocked. She got stuck - shoulder dystocia - and I got ripped to bits. I remember holding her and shaking.

I love all three to bits, but never got the overwhelming love thing immediately post birth. It came later.

[Jibberjabberjooo]

I just felt shocked. The pain of giving birth just shocked me and I haemorrhaged after both births so I wasn't really able to hold either of them properly while the mw sorted me out. I did love them and was fascinated with them but I was mainly exhausted. I don't remember a woosh. I adore both of them now, I couldn't love them any more than I do already.

[Diddlydokey]

It didn't for me, I had a very quick delivery and went into shock a little bit. The overwhelming emotions were feeling nervous and unsure but I can remember working out how soon I could have number 2 on my first night in hospital.

The whole parenting thing is very emotional and feeling guilty a lot seems to come with the territory. The hormones heighten this hugely in the first year.

[HappyIdiot]

not a whoosh, but that was probably because I was exhausted and shocked after a v long labour and then emcs.
my first thought was a really strong sense that DD belonged to me, but it wasn't what I would call "love". that came over the next couple of days, probably as I began to recover physically.
also, the instant post-birth bonding was slightly interrupted by DD herself, when the midwife lay her next to my head on the pillow when I was still on the operating table, so I could see her for the first time, DD took it upon herself to do a massive meconium poo right next to me (including some in my hair!!)

[Shesinfashion]

Relief, awe and amazement. I sobbed and was really emotional.

[ValancyJane]

My DP did, and he cried which he never does. I felt mainly a mixture of shock and sheer relief; I'd had a five-day long very painful latent phase (back to back labour) with very little sleep which ended up in an EMCS after a load of complications - DD was fine however because they got her out at just the right time. However she's six days old now and I do adore her and can't stop staring at her :)

[TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain]

I did have the rush of hormones about day 3 or so where I cried and cried all day - I changed my mind about keeping them and wanted to give them back. No one told me about that the first time!

Thats normal- not having the rush of love is normal. Just go in with realistic expectations and enjoy! I miss that exciting part just waiting for them to arrive!

[JeanGenie23]

I wonder if there is a correlation between how bad your labour is and this whoosh of love. Just from reading these posts there does seem to be, but that may just be me reading too much into it because I didn't enjoy childbirth X

[Focusfocus]

In my case DH started crying and smiling, doula wiped her eyes, midwives cooed and I said "so that's done then".

[NickyEds]

I think you might be right JeanGenie. I had a horrible birth with ds (long, back to back and with the drip-no epidural) and I can honestly say that I was just relieved it was over. i didn't really even want to hold him. I was then totally shell shocked for a few days and bf was a total nightmare so it was about 2 weeks before I felt the rush of love. But in the end I did and he is loved completely.

With dd I had a much better birth and from the instant she was put on my tummy and her eyes locked straight on to mine I was completely gone. Absolute, total love at first sight. I held her for two week solid and family joked that they couldn't get a look in!

Most (all?) of the women I know who had the rush of love had quick/easy births or epidurals.

[kiki22]

I can hardly remember ds being born just that I wanted to know if he was ok then it took about 8 hours for the drugs to wear off then I have my first clear memory of him. I loved him from there but we had some tough times the first year now we are best friends.

[purplepineapples]

I was petrified when he first arrived and in shock. DP held him first as he was a forceps delivery and they placed him on my chest but because I was still strapped up I felt like I was leaning backwards and that he was rolling off so I just panicked and asked them to take him.

I didn't like being alone with him in the hospital as I had no idea what to do with him! Was glad when DP was there to change him!

He was like a stranger really, it was odd! I do remember looking at him in awe and amazement all the time and couldn't believe he was mine.

Felt the love and protection fairly quickly. One thing sticks in my mind, he was in his moses basket not long after we'd brought him home and I really wanted to pick him up and cuddle him but didn't know if that was okay and allowed!! Don't know who i was looking for permission from! I did pick him though and had lots of cuddles!

[Plateofcrumbs]

I was plain exhausted when DS arrived - I was so tired I was asleep between contractions (no drugs involved!). So I really can't remember very much, which makes me sad. I can't remember being told he was a boy, I can't remember holding him for the first time, it is just a fog.

I think I felt something like a happy amazement. I remember thinking he was utterly gorgeous, the most beautiful baby I had ever seen, and being convinced that this was objectively the case and that all the mothers would be jealous

I definitely felt strongly attached from the beginning, but I got the 'whoosh' experience about 3 days later - still in hospital, we'd been moved into a private room and it was just me and him for a moment - and it hit, I could actually feel the oxytocin coursing round my body, it was like an adrenaline rush only with love.

[Sandsnake]

Planned, calm ELCS - which was exactly how I'd wanted the birth. It felt surreal and incredible when I saw him for the first time. When I held him I certainly felt love - but more a development of the massive love I'd already built for him whilst pregnant than something completely new.

He's now three months old and the love just keeps growing. Sometimes I look at him and it scares me how much I love him (sorry to sound sappy!). Best of luck with everything OP .

[Cnmorgan13]

I honestly can't wait.

[vichill]

I felt very proud of myself both times and felt like an indomitable earth mother. Did it naturally and without a murmur much to my surprise. I was dumbstruck at the intensity of love i felt for my first but the second was slower. But by 5 months I'd say the second had caught up with the first in my affections.

[AThousandTears]

With DS1 I was rather drowsy and just remember feeling amusement at the fact that his feet were huge, totally not in proportion to his body. I was laughing while holding him but too tired to explain why.

I had a moment the following night (still in hospital) when I lay him down next to me after a feed and just stared into his eyes. That was when I fell head over heels in love with him.