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Childbirth

Feel guilty for elcs

28 replies

pennypitstoppe · 28/08/2015 09:14

Recently my second child was born by elcs. She was born at 38+5, weighed 7lbs and had apgar of 9. During the pregnancy the consultant said I could choose vbac or elcs as I had a previous emcs. I chose elcs due to fear of childbirth and fear that vbac would end up with emcs.

However, post bbirth I've felt constantly guilty for delivering dd before she wanted to be born. I wonder whether she wanted to be born at 41 weeks etc. She wasn't engaged when delivered, this adds to my guilt.

I hope this thread won't upset anyone else! I feel like I've let my baby down. The midwives think I'm worrying unnecessarily. My first dc was born at 39+1, so only four days later than dc2.

OP posts:

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Jw35 · 02/09/2015 00:24

Crazy talk! My baby was born by Elcs 5 days early, she was a whopping 9lb 8oz and it was a wonderful experience! As long as both you and the baby are healthy and happy what does it matter?

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blowinahoolie · 02/09/2015 10:23

"She wasn't engaged when delivered, this adds to my guilt."

DC3 has to be born soon, I'm getting induced on Sunday. He/she isn't engaged yet either and I'll take things as they come starting with a vaginal delivery. It may end up being EMCS. Will take it as it comes. There's a strong chance baby won't be engaged when I go in for the induction, it will have to be forced upon the baby I suppose, to get things moving along.

Please don't feel guilty.

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AbbeyRoadCrossing · 02/09/2015 11:52

OP I wouldn't worry about studies. I work in stats and I've not seen any conclusive evidence one way or the other that has convinced me, both modes of delivery have advantages and disadvantages. And VBAC has it's own set of risks you'd have considered carefully I'm sure.
In the UK, most CS are done for a medical reason, which complicates any studies. Low risk women will usually have a vaginal birth so any study is already skewed. A lot of studies I've seen lump in the emergency sections with the electives as well.
In some countries, CS is the norm, with only those without access to healthcare having vaginal births. As you can probably guess, studies in countries where CS is the norm show it as being 'better' whereas the opposite is true for countries where vaginal birth is the norm.

I won't waffle on boring everyone, but in short most babies born in the UK at term are fine whatever the method and I'm sure yours is just perfect