Hypnobirthing stories good and not so good please!

[ovumahead]

Hi all
I had a very traumatic first labour and birth experience with my DS who is now 7 years old. Currently 27 weeks pregnant with baby number 2, and yes the big age gap is partly due to how long it took me to physically and emotionally recover from that first experience!

I'm planning a home birth despite being classed as high risk (due to previous cesarean) however I'm still in two minds about this due to the risk. I have a doula. I've just started a hypnobirthing course, however, I'm a bit skeptical of the whole "hypnobirthing births are always amazing and pain free and faster" etc. I feel this could set me up to feel a complete failure if things do hurt or end up not being completely natural.

I'd love to hear others hypnobirthing experiences, both positive and not so positive, just to help me get my head around it all!

I'm really not sure what else to do to prepare for birth this time around....

[MabelSideswipe]

There are different types of hypnobirthing. Some do suggest if done well there can be no pain but not all. Natal Hypnotherapy doesn't and acknowledges most women will have pain. It's about coping with it and staging in control. It aims to lessen anxiety by boosting confidence in your natural ability to give birth. Running a marathon hurts but the pain is viewed as a sign the body is being pushed and worked extremely hard. Just as it is in labour.

Going to a special.place in your mind like a beach is not about avoiding pain but about distracting and calming the mind from thinking about the pain and perhaps less than ideal environment.

[avocadotoast]

Oh, and in a way, I don't know if it actually made me expect labour to be easier than it was. I'd never been scared of giving birth and I think in a way it kind of lulled me into a false sense of security.

Obviously the human body is a wonderful thing and it does help if you enter into labour without fear because you'll be more relaxed, more trusting in yourself etc. But there's no getting away from the fact that labour really fucking hurts, and there is no shame in going for pain relief etc. As someone on here posted, nobody's going to give you a medal for not taking pain relief! You do what's best for you.

[avocadotoast]

I used the Maggie Howell MP3. I wasn't overly convinced to be honest and a lot of the techniques kind of went out the window considering I had contractions for 3 days before entering active labour. By that point my brain wasn't really able to focus on much!

I did find the breathing exercises helpful, but I'd learned those at a pregnancy yoga class I went to anyway. I did have a few really panicky moments during labour where I did manage to catch myself and think "no, come on, you're capable of this" but I think that was more to do with DH being an amazing birth partner than anything really!

[Turquoiseblue]

DS was a long labour - no pain relief (I refused after pethine made me shake and vomit).
Dd - private hypno coach.

What I will say is on reflection afterwards - dd s birth was a much more relaxed affair. Partly because I knew what to expect in terms of pain, contractions, timing etc, partly because of the skills that the relaxation I learned come to me. I think that s where hypno helped me- I learned relaxation, I learned breathing properly. I didn't feel anaesthaised by my hypnosis I was fully aware, I had has and air, it was still a tough slog but I felt I coped better as I was in control of my feelings and responses and head space and not trying to control my labour or fight it and I was not frightened of it.
I think you need to be suggestible/ receptive to it in order for hypno to work. No point in doing it if you don't believe some of it. The relaxation, staying calm etx made sense to me (am medical/ scientific background so some of it I just couldn't get my logical brain around) but parts of it that worked made sense to me. HTH

[Turquoiseblue]

DS was a long labour - no pain relief (I refused after pethine made me shake and vomit).
Dd - private hypno coach.

What I will say is on reflection afterwards - dd s birth was a much more relaxed affair. Partly because I knew what to expect in terms of pain, contractions, timing etc, partly because of the skills that the relaxation I learned come to me. I think that s where hypno helped me- I learned relaxation, I learned breathing properly. I didn't feel anaesthaised by my hypnosis I was fully aware, I had has and air, it was still a tough slog but I felt I coped better as I was in control of my feelings and responses and head space and not trying to control my labour or fight it and I was not frightened of it.
I think you need to be suggestible/ receptive to it in order for hypno to work. No point in doing it if you don't believe some of it. The relaxation, staying calm etx made sense to me (am medical/ scientific background so some of it I just couldn't get my logical brain around) but parts of it that worked made sense to me. HTH

[ovumahead]

Yes that's my anxiety ! It all seemsto be about avoidance rather than acceptance which I guess is what I find off-putting. It's almost sending the message that birth is so terrifying you need to be in some imaginary safe place on a beach otherwise you'll be in loads of pain, and pain is bad, everything will go wrong if you experience pain, etc
That's what I'm getting from it anyway!

It's such a shame that your birth experience was so frightening for you. Did you try aby of the techniques when you were being induced?

[McNally]

I did a hypnobirthing course before having DC2. I think it could be helpful for straightforward births. However, despite there being talk of the need to be flexible if things don't go how you expect them, this wasn't backed up by the anti hospital/medical intervention tone of the sessions. This made me much more anxious than I should have when I had to be induced after my waters broke and labour didn't start naturally. Anxiety is what hypnobirthing teaches you to avoid, so it was all a bit of a vicious circle really. I feel a bit angry about it to be honest.

[Bair]

Good luck ovumahead!

Despite my misgivings and loathing of the book I can see the science in 'it's hurts less if you're relaxed and you can focus more if you're not scared', so I'll be giving it a bash too.

I've seen enough videos of it done to see it can help, although whether you have to fling reason aside to be one of those people remains to be seen for me.

The only 'side-effect' I can see is possible disappointment after the birth at how it went or how we 'coped' and I think a level head and a supportive birth partner can help there.

[ovumahead]

Thanks again. I've loved reading all your responses, many of which echo my own frustrations and concerns about it. I will continue nonetheless, I'm assuming you don't have to buy into every aspect of it in order for it to be useful. And I'll bite my tongue if and when the warped stats rear their ugly head! But if anyone dares to mention homeopathy I will have to say something

[gamingmum]

I need very knew it was called hypnobirthing but I had my first child in February and had done a breathing class in the lead up. I thought it was a bit hippy in parts but when my contractions started concentrating on my breathing was a life saver.

In the end I had five days of labour at home with contractions at most ten mins apart the whole five days. I arrived at the birthing centre at ten cm and baby ready to go. This left no time for the water birth I wanted. I also didn't have gas and air as I was managing on breathing techniques.

I never imagined I would manage the labour without drugs and only really resulted to an animalistic grunt at the very last burning push stage.

I don't know it will be everyone's cup of tea but if you have the right mindset it works wonders.

[HazleNutt]

Thanks for this thread!

I though I was the only one who got an absolute RAGE from the Mongan book. Dc2 is due in a few weeks, so I thought it could not hurt to try hypnobirthing. As others have said, the message I got that if your birth is in any way painful or stressful, if you panic or need interventions, then it's your own damn fault that you didn't manage to imagine yourself on a fluffy pink cloud or whatever. And I warned DH that if he even tries any of the recommended birth partner speech, I'll throw him out of the window.

[CommanderShepard]

I did a Mindful Mamma course this weekend and found it really useful - unlike some of the stories on here it was made clear that it's not a guaranteed method of pain-free interventionless birth because no one could possibly predict what's going to happen, but that it gives you a sort of menu of things to choose from to manage anxiety and fear. I was sent the book when I signed up and it was refreshing that some of the birth stories end up in EMCS but the mothers felt in control and proud of their stories - as they jolly well should be.

Usefully it was also quite a bit about coping techniques for the birth partner - in our group one couple had had an EMCS, one an ELCS for breech and the other two were first time couples where the dads were scared witless.

Whether it will actually do any good in labour is another matter entirely, but I've been feeling really anxious of late regarding the prospect of a VBAC after a pretty traumatic first birth and the class left me feeling really positive and calm.

[Skiptonlass]

Interesting....

I bought the natal hypnotherapy book because it's my first birth and I'd like to get some breathing techniques under my belt. Like pps have said, I'm aware that birth is often not something you can control, but if it does turn out I can have a crack at it without a section, id like to.

Reading the book as a scientist, I have to say, caused a LOT of eye rolling. Her use of statistics is very misleading (x% of women using hypnobirthing had a c section, see how low that is! Uuuh, yeah, of course it is, you're self selecting a sample of women who a. Want to have a natural birth. B. Are probably not keen on having a section and c. Haven't been told they need a section due to factors outside their control...)

The section on homeopathy got major eye rolling. Seriously, that should NOT be in there. Null points (diluted and shaken a bit...)

Some of the birth stories were very cringey " I woke up at dawn, made a latte and dabbed some clary sage oil on my dressing gown.."

There's still a fair bit of noble savage shit. Yes, women have indeed been birthing in fields/baobab trees for millennia. I bet they were still terrified and the maternal mortality rate was hideous pre modern medicine. If you read any historical source you can see the dread of childbirth - it was always a big deal, and always dangerous. I doubt there's ever been time we just squatted and painlessly popped out an infant. Tribal populations now who still live in pre- modernity conditions do not have effortless births - there's a passage in the wonderful "cherubs, chattels and changelings" a book of child rearing globally, that describes a Yanomamo women dying agonisingly in birth with no one helping her, and everyone just basically shrugging and saying "well, that's life". So to think it was some sort of garden of Eden before modern medicine is deeply naive.

But, I still think the basic premise is sound. Learn to work with your body, control fear and pain and use visualisation and breathing techniques to do that.

I wish the basic premise hadn't been coated in a layer of poor science and noble savage myths. It doesn't need that and for me, it spoiled it. Also rather hard to get your also- scientist husband on board when he's going into full pedant mode reading it....

[Tonicandgin]

I did a course which followed Kathryn Graves book/teachings.

We certainly weren't taught about 'blaming' and were taught that 'baby knows best' so if you have a CS it's because you/baby needs one and they taught us how to Hypnobirth through it.

It wasn't all about having a drug free/pain free birth. It was about having the most relaxing birth you can in the way you want.

[adarkwhisperinthewoodwasheard]

Didn't do hypnobirthing as such, but a friend told me about mindfulness for my second dc. That really helped. Examining the pain and recognising the patterns put me fully in touch with the whole experience. I'd thoroughly recommend that

[applecore0317]

It helped me two weeks ago, It didn't take the pain away but helped me focus on my breathing, using my energy for pushing instead of shouting and because I was so.focussed on my own breathing pattern I didn't want the gas and air because it was throwing me out of sync.

I just used Maggie Howells hypnobirthing cd and book.

[Bair]

My first birth was medical but enjoyable really.

I read a hypnobirthing book this time. 30 weeks now. Stupid fucking book. Pretty much the same shit as Saul got, implies breastfeeding will be successful if you 'truly' want it, same with baby turning the 'right way'. Also suggests stuff such as homoeopathy, which is a sure fire way to make me doubt every opinion in there.

My method for this birth will be 'least first'.

Pool, G&A etc, then ramping up to the industrial stuff if I decide I want/need it.

[ovumahead]

Wow thank you all for your wonderful honest responses ! All articulating exactly what I had been wondering . So so helpful !

[SaulGood]

It was the Mongan book. Terrible language and message imo.

Natal hypnotherapy is much, much better.

[0utForAWalkBitch]

SaulGood it didn't happen to be the Marie Mongan book you felt like burning did it? I felt that way about it - total woman blaming claptrap. The message I took from the language she uses was that "birth isn't meant to hurt and if it does then it's your own fault for doing it wrong, stupid". Lots of "look at the peasant women in the fields, squatting, birthing their baby without fear, and it doesn't hurt because they don't expect it to" - MY ARSE, Marie.

FWIW despite my disdain regarding this particular book, I do think the whole hypnobirthing approach can be helpful. I did a pregnancy yoga class that taught visualisation and breathing exercises that I believe are very similar to those taught in hypnobirthing, and I found these useful for keeping calm during my labour (or the few hours of it that I was in control for before they panicked at her dropping heartrate and dragged her out with forceps ). I also found taking the mental approach that our bodies are designed (albeit not that well) to do this helpful in remembering to stay calm.

I'm pregnant again, due next week, and this time I've read the Kathryn Graves book which is much more realistic. I can't get completely on board with the visualisation side of things if I'm honest, I'm not hippy dippy enough, but there's lots of helpful advice and affirmations in there.

[SolomanDaisy]

I did natal hypnotherapy and had a quick and easy home birth. It was certainly not pain free, but it was an amazing, positive experience. That's mostly luck of course, but I think natal hypnotherapy helped. I was very calm, the midwives thought I still had hours to go and DS was born fifteen minutes later. I am a naturally calm person though, so that will have helped. What it really helped with was feeling prepared and positive and then having something to focus on during the birth. Natal hypnotherapy is quite realistic though, there are CDs for preparing for a caesarean and the trainer encouraged us to have two birth plans, one for staying at home and one for emergency transfer. I would really recommend it, I can't tell you what a wonderful experience birth was for me.

[EldonAve]

I did a course before DC2
It didn't really help - I just couldn't get into the visualization stuff

[goshhhhhh]

To clarify I have never read a book. I used visualization & hypno breathing. I probably would find a book irritating. When dc2 came along I was doing a nlp course & used a "magic" bubble. I think it is important to recognize things can change during Labour & be flexible. It's not your fault if things don't go to plan but it is also unrealistic to expect that there is no pain.

[ReallyTired]

I did natal hypnotherapy which is very similar for my second and it worked well. It was a little more realistic than Hypnobirthing. No one can guarantee you a pain free birth. In third world countries with poor maternity care many women do die in childbirth. We are lucky having the resources to make child birth safer.

I feel that managing fear and anxiety well maximises chances of a good birth and a happier pregnancy. There is little point in losing sleep while pregnant over something you cannot control. Learning good breathing techniques ensures your muscles get a good supply of oxygen. If you get overly anxious during labour you tense up which makes childbirth more painful. If you hyperventilate then your contracting uterus will not get enough oxygen and you will have anorobic respiration instead of aerobic respiration. (Think of aching muscles with a long run)

Ideally you would delgelate the worrying to someone you can trust. Certainly childbirth can go wrong, but it's best to cross that bridge when you come to it. I was lucky having a community midwife whom I trusted implicitly. I feel it's important to live in the present and not dwell too much on the past or the future.

[YouCanDanceIfYouWantTo]

To clarify, when I said in control, I meant not in control of what was going to happen in the birth, because I really don't believe that is possible. But control in terms of being relaxed and prepared before the birth to accept what will be will be and that I may have had a birth with all the drugs, interventions etc. or not and that either was great as long as the baby and me were fine at the end.

So control in the lack of control about what will happen, but being aware that that was totally fine and normal because yes ,women have been having babies forever, but there have also been difficult births forever, and now we can actually get help for any problems, and it's safe.

Gosh that really doesn't make an awful lot of sense now that I've written it down, but I think I know what I meant...