looking for advice, dont know what to do

[turbine]

first off im not a mum, im not even female, im due to be a dad for the first time in less then a week

i got my ex pregnant, it wasnt planned, everything was fine until 4 months in she dumped me for no reason, or at least she never told me a reason despite me asking

she already has 3 kids, by 3 dads, none of them have anything to do with the kids

anyway, after she dumped me, she became distant from me, id go round to talk to her and she refused to see me, id send her texts and try to ring her but she would ignore me, sometimes she would reply then a few days later find an excuse to fall out

for example, i always made it clear to her i wanted to be around and i wanted to help her, but after she dumped me she started demanding i do her chores, mow her lawn, clean her oven etc.....which i refused to do, i told her i dont mind getting her kids from school or going to town to get things for her or taking her kids to the park and things like that, ive provided everything my son will need, a brand new pram, mattresses, carriers, clothes, all kinds of stuff and ive spent hundreds and hundreds of pounds on all of it, anyway, she used the fact that i would not mow her lawn as an excuse to fall out with me

not a week passed through the entire pregnancy when i havent asked her if everything was ok or if she needed anything, so its not as if ive shown no interest

she told me that she would let me help choose the babys name, then she changed her mind and told me id have no say in it

she refuses to allow me to be at the birth

on one occassion she was even pretending to be someone else who alledgedly found her phone, after admitting days later it was all a lie but only because i didnt fall for it (because ive been with her in the past when she has done the exact same thing to someone else)

now, she is telling me that i will only be allowed to see my child between 6 and 8 on weekday evenings, i finish work at 6 and by the time i could get to hers it would be almost 7 so basically she is "allowing" me an hour a day to bond with my son

for months she has known id planned to take paternity leave so that i could help her out with things and bond with my son, she was absolutely fine with that, until i asked her to sign a form from my employer to confirm that i was about to become a dad. initially she agreed to it, but then the next day she phoned me and said she wasnt signing it, she said she didnt need to sign it, didnt want to sign it and that she doesnt need my help and i wont be seeing my son in the daytime anyway, when i asked what she stood to lose by signing it she said she wasnt going to argue about it and hung up on me. i tried calling back but she wont answer and ive sent text which she is back to ignoring again

now i know it cant be easy for her and she must be stressed, but i have bent over backwards to offer my support and had it thrown back in my face every single time, she keeps cutting me out of decisions and i feel like she is backing me into a corner

i know, i just know, that she will go and register my son while i am not there so i wont have my name on his birth certificate

the whole thing has turned into a nightmare for me because of how she has been acting and i feel she is taking things away from me which i have a right to be involved with, such as choosing a name and seeing my son once hes born and spending time with him, bonding with him

i dont know why she does it, she is always falling out with me for the most stupid reasons and im just sick to death of it, i dont want my son to be grow up with that atmosphere and i am not happy to just be able to see him for an hour a day when she feels like it, but i dont know what to do, i dont know where to turn and i dont know who to talk to

i dont have the money to speak to a solicitor and i just feel like, well its tearing me apart and now its at the stage im not interested in being her friend just for it to fall apart a week or 2 later over nothing

i know this is probably the wrong place but ive searched the internet and i just dont know what to do anymore

[dennant]

Feel for you. You clearly want to do the right thing and its a shame she cant appreciate that. I hope you get it all sorted out. Is there a mutual friend or family member that could perhaps step in and act as a bit of a liaison between you two? Might help open up a line of communication?

[turbine]

no i think she will make it as difficult as she can for me because thats what she seems to have done so far, obviously i dont want to go through the courts if it can be helped and i see it as a last resort, but, i think she will force it and i know she cant put my name on the birth certificate if im not there, which is why i think she doesnt want me to have paternity leave....so she can go and do it by herself and deny me of my rights, the whole thing is a mess