Anyone suffer from neglectful Midwifery?

[fay68]

I had dd1 at the supposedly great hospital in Whitechapel in 1997. I was 38 wks and got v. bloody show, mild contractions and was put in maternity ward with a monitor round my belly 24hrs unable to move much. I kept bleeding like a period for 2 days but no-one was bothered. BTW, maternity ward inmates cleaning the toilets themselves as so filthy. Finally I told the nurse on duty my blood had increased. A doctor came, had a look and said ok let's get you into labour at midnight. No proper dilation so they broke my waters. All the time never answering my questions, never telling me what's what. I was taken to the labour room with mum. The hospital gown was iritating and I wore my own - got really told off by witchy MW. Window was open and I was shivering like crazy but when mum went to shut it - she got told off. Contractions started to come properly and I did well with gas & air. Still no advance in dilation though. Strapped to monitor wasn't allowed to move about. Found out later that dd was face up with hand - could have turned if they'd let me walk or move about in the last 48 hours. Doctor came in twice to cathetarize me for pee (ugh - really painful). Came in a 3rd time to have a go for not having an epidural and being in long, painful labour. God, it's scary enough giving birth for 1st time without having to freak about a needle in your back for 1st time, too. Suddenly witchy MW left (end of shift probably) without a word and two first-time juniors came in. Totally clueless, no-one supervising or even checking in now and then. They each grabbed a leg each and told me to start pushing as hard as I can against their thighs. God, I was sooooo naive! I pushed for 2 HOURS! Urge or not, it was solid long hard pushing. Still no baby. Total time in labour room 11 hours so far. Suddenly the room fills up with people, an OB comes in with ventouse, out burns baby, juniors tell me to give a huge push to "beat the doctor to it" (stupid, stupid!) I tear all the way to my anus (might have torn ages beforehand) and he spends 45 minutes stitching me up while interns watch intently. He "checks my holes are in right place" by poking into them and goes. Everything a blur after that. However, didn't feel stitching - good anesthetic jabs, but felt like weights hanging from my f walking for a month after it was so swollen and sore. No aftercare was offered or advised, no MW checked me over. Must have been good repair, though, as had painless sex 11 weeks later and no incontinence whatsoever. However, tampons have been a slight problem as difficult to get them to stay right in amd they sometimes turn horizontal.
I now realise with proper midwifery and a bit of humanity such tearing and pain would have been avoided. It seems my dd may have been in distress also but no-one answered me or offered explanations. I have no clue what the matter was.
It took me 8 years to grit my teeth for a 2nd pg and I am now 34 wks. I am going private this time and am so terrified of major surgery that I opted for a vaginal again. Is it true about incontinences and prolapes, etc after 2nd births?

[controlfreaky2]

how awful. poor you. i had v good care during birth of ds1 but it was v long labour with problems and left me feeling really traumatised... was v worried about having ds2. all i can say is that it was a totally different and healing experience. all births are different. really hope this time is better experience for you and goes well. have you had opp to talk through you fears with new midwife team? i felt it helped for them to be aware of my fears and past experience...

[Kidstrack]

wouldn't worry yourself about prolapses etc just because its a 2nd birth, afterall you are going private so you will have one to one paid for care, your body has already gone through labour and you may find it will be easier second time round and on a plus side you know what to expect re delivery, obviously hoping you don't tear as bad, i'm surprised they didn't do an episitomy (sp) when using a ventouse, good luck, it sounds as though you didn't have a good midwife

[milward]

What a difficult time fay68 - is there anyone at the hospital you could talk to about this? Just to go through what happened and how the midwives would react now. There is a Birth Trauma website that I've seen recommended here some times.
Wishing you all the best xxx

[LeahE]

Might be worth your requesting a copy of your notes from the first birth and talking them through with midwives this time.

[fay68]

Thnankseveryone. I've only just begun reviewing what happened this past year and researching led me to realise what was wrong. I should have had more control, which I do now and my OB & team seem v. nice. Still, even the best care can't predict labour outcome..

[Highlander]

if everything is OK down below and you're going private - have you considered hiring an independant midwife for a home waterbirth? I've read some lovely stories on here.

Good luck next time

[joanna4]

Second and last time for me I went for induction and started off nicely.I was left all day to my own devices walking around all was ok.About 7pm the midwife came and said I would be hours yet so tried to send my hubby home but i stalled by going for a bath so he could stay as my first came very quickly and he almost missed it.Mw kept coming in and examining me saying i would be forever then at 11.30pm said i could go to labour ward.They stuck me in a chair to go and believe me getting sat was monumental by this point then they kicked me out as another lady needed it more than me.So i retiliated by having my waters break all over the ward floor which i got a ticking off for -like i could help it.
I was eventually sent up at 11.45 where I was once more examined and told it would be hours yet.The midwife showed me the buzzer and left me and hubby then it all happened so quickly that when she came back our dd was already born!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The aftercare team said the mw downstairs had let 4 of us go too far over that night before sending up and 2 had resulted in emergency c section.
I hope all goes well for you I never went on to have another child after that but 2 was always going to be our max.

[fay68]

Thanks for recommending the birth trauma website Milward, I can't believe what women have gone through - are hospitals in the UK this bad? I have friends in Germany who all have loads of kids with great care, great hygiene, and minimum damage. The website did give me nightmares, though!

[cheeseypeas]

Hello fay68

So, so sorry to hear about your birth experience. I was very traumatised by my experience too.
Although the care I got during labour was impeccable, I blame the circumstances in which most of us have to give birth for making it so hard. The bright lights, strangers, clinical, unfamiliar surroundings, too much knowledge of what could go wrong. A million years if instinct is willing you to be somewhere safe and familiar with people areound you that you trust. The very opposit of what you get in hospital.

My REAL experience of bad midwife care came after the birth. It took two days of begging for help to breastfeed my son, a panic attack (my first and only) and an irrational request to leave the hospital before I got proper, structured help. I had been denied a breast pump and spent two sleepless days desperately hand expressing tiny droplets of solestrum into a thimble that would be drizzled into my poor sons mouth. The midwife that 'saved us' took one look at him and said he was dehydrated (I had asked this earlier but was told it was normal!!!) I dread to think what would have happened if she hadn't come along. With cup-feeding, a bit of formula before my milk came in, a breastpump and proper structured help it was sorted and I left hospital with a healthy breastfeeding son two days later.

I then fell into the care of a local midwife who refused to check my episotomy stitches and told me that my discharged blood only smelt strange 'because I hadn't had a period for so long that I couldn't remember what it smelt like". Three days later and when she did finally check - suprise, suprise - I had a bad infection afterall. It was so painful and knocked me for six just as I was getting back on track. Cheers then!

Oh yes, was moved rooms in the QMC at 2am because of cockroaches and had to clean another womans blood of the toilet seat in my 'disinfected' room before I could us it.

[cheeseypeas]

Just wanted to add, I too was tethered to a bed by a heart monitor during my entire labour. It is so unatural not to be able to move around and feels like torture being restricted like this. Surley a mobile version wouldn't be so hard to make with the technology that's about these days!!!

Just being able to pace around could have saved me so much pain and fear. I can't hear a fetal monitor now without having a cold, albeit nostagic sensation.

[fay68]

Cheeseypeas, believe me if men gave birth they'd have discovered the technology decades ago - for every aspect of birth, maybe even a painfree third point of exit for baby!

[lovelyneve]

i was in labour for 36 hours and the midwives made me feel like a piece of meat. I had loda of stitches and the whole experience was horrid. i hate the thought of doing it again.

[JellyNump]

I spent 2 days on a maternity ward telling the staff he needed to go to SCBU as he was being sick all the time and I thought he had pyloric stenosis, the doctors came up to look at him and told me he was over feeding and this was making him sick, 2 days later a doctor showed up at midnight, examined him and told me he did have to go to SCBU as he was dehydrated. It then took 2 weeks for them to say he did have a pyloric stenosis after I'd been telling them all along and they didn't test for it straight away. He had to endure numerous blood tests and drips, a brain scan and lumbar puncture at 2 weeks old. They could have saved themselves a LOT of time and money if they'd listened to me in the first place