Pain relief - why is there stigma against using it?

[CalamityJ]

39+6 so seriously beginning to think about the actual birth process (probably about time!). A few NCT friends have given birth already and have a few RL friends who have also given birth in the last few months. The general gist has been that they've made it through childbirth with as little pain relief as possible. One posted on Facebook that he was 'really proud of his wife as she'd done it all without pain relief'. And that made me feel a bit as before then I hadn't thought that people would think worse of me if I went for whatever pain relief I felt was necessary. Speaking to the midwife last week she mentioned the birth plan which has that I want to know when it's becoming too late for an epidural so I can make a decision about if I need it. She basically tried to say I should not bother with one and I should just try for gas and air. I'm not sure why I should feel the need to be a hero and go without pain relief? Would it make me a 'better' mum? Why wouldn't I want to make it as easy as possible on me?

[thunksheadontable]

Having a more or less drug free birth was certainly not about 'momolympics' for me. I had a long slow recovery from Kiellands forceps with my first where my baby's apgar was also low and I wanted to avoid anything that might lead me to be immobile and have positioning problems again. I really, really doubt that there are many women at the height of labour who refuse drugs to look good to their NCT buddies!

I really loved it, sorry. It wasn't masochistic, I wasn't doing it because of research on risks, I didn't give a monkeys about how anyone else viewed it. I wanted the fastest birth with the least intervention and would have done anything to further the chances of that, but as a second timer it helped I knew what the pain might feel like and that I didn't want to stay for long in the postnatal ward with a catheter etc. I worked very hard at mentally prepping for the uncertainty of it eg accepting whatever might happen.

It just wasn't that painful compared to the first birth and apart from the half an hour of transition which was mega intense, I found it manageable. Why would you take the drugs if you felt it was okay when it means catheterisation and a longer stay in hospital esp with another child at home? On a purely practical level it made more sense!

[saycheeeeeese]

Interesting also to find out if very many who are induced and put on the syntocin (sp) drip as I was have coped without pain relief.(I had to be induced 2weeks early due to pre eclampsia)

My contractions were so strong I nearly fell off the bed several times. For me an epidural was a no brainer.

[MyDarlingClementine]

I dont know what meds I was given after section but no one mentioned any probs with me BF which I did from the get go, However BF my first after a
" normal - un assisted delivery with homeopathic massage ";

was very problematic because I was so mentally shocked and emotionally drained.

[thunksheadontable]

The pain is v different sc with that Drip induction.. There was no comparison IMO but having had a few hours of that sans epidural as none initially available (to 4cms only but about 5 hours of ctx) made the next labour seem easy peasy. Never felt as hard even at full throttle as with drip at early stages. That was a sea of pain. I was dancing to Ice Cube at 6 and 7cms and smiling and laughing between contractions instead of just in a state of frozen fear and agony.

[saycheeeeeese]

chunderella you poor thing!

I felt like I was being ripped in two, I rhink I begged for someone to shoot me at one stage, then the anaesthetist came and made it better, a lot better!

I would love to go into labour naturally next time and get my peaceful water birth but chances are I will end up with pre eclampsia again :(

[saycheeeeeese]

thunk sea if pain describes it perfectly. I think my poor baby just wasn't ready to come and they forced her, my body was in shock and resisting the whole time.

[thunksheadontable]

I actually have a really clear memory of it, of feeling like I was sort of submerged or maybe even drowning in it and my head was trying to bob out of the water. I think I was sort of hallucinating with it! I really hope you don't get PE again! If you go get them to site epidural v early if you can.. That was my birth plan if induced! Delivered spontaneously on day induction due.. Arrived at hops at 5am when scheduled for induction at 9am and they let me hang on even though not in proper established labour, about 3 to 4cms only... Phew

[saycheeeeeese]

Back to back :(

OP you will do what's right for you because only you have any say in it just listen to your body, here's to a nice straightforward birth for you , when you hold that baby in your arms nothing else matters!

[holidaysdistantmemory]

I hate this mentality.

I had an epidural. It was the best. I pushed out a healthy 10 pound baby in 6hrs with NO PAIN. I would act as a salesperson for epidurals if there was one.

A week before my birth I read an article in a paper about pain relief in birth. As I recall, it went along the lines: if a man chose not to have pain relief when having a vasectomy, would this make him more 'manly'? If you had your wisdom teeth out, and refused to have even a paracetamol, would that somehow make you more superior? No no no! So why are we pregnant women led to believe, in this modern age, where medical advancements give us freely available and low risk pain relief, that having no pain relief is somehow a badge of honour? Seems crazy to me.

Each to their own, but don't fall into the trap of feeling guilty about your choice, whatever it is and best for you. Good luck!

[saycheeeeeese]

thunk I definitely will, I never want to feel like that again, they could have cut my leg off and I probably wouldn't have noticed!

Thanks :)

[Zavi]

I really wanted to have my baby without needing to take any pain relief at all during childbirth because I wanted to take control of my body and I wanted to be in charge of the birth all the way through and I was really concerned that pain-killers might cloud my judgement in some way and, as I felt pretty confident that NOBODY would know what was best for me and my baby, except me, I wanted to be as compis mentis as possible all the way through.

I also thought to myself "it is only pain, I will be able to endure it, it will pass"

I had already made up my mind that I was going to be the type of mother that was going to go that extra mile for my baby and since Everybody knows how massively painful childbirth is and everybody knows that pain killers effect the baby too I chose not to have any pain killers.

I wanted to try and breast feed (obviously) my baby straight away and I knew they might be sleepy if they I had received pain-killers and I really didn't want to have my baby drugged up in that way. I wanted to be able to nurture it ASAP.

I therefore thought to myself "if I can go without pain-killers, people are going to realise what a good, powerful earth mother type I am. I mean, how else are they going to know that?

[saycheeeeeese]

zavi I was only able to feel in control after I had the epidural, before that ibwas wailing like a banshee and falling off the bed.

I breastfed successfully in fact straight after she was born. If id had to labour without the pain relief I have no doubt that I would've been too traumatised to even hold her!

[Zavi]

Just joking of course!

[saycheeeeeese]

:o

[CommanderShepard]

Ignore everyone else and do what you need to do. It is precisely nothing to do with anyone else save you and your HCP.

I did write a paragraph about my own experiences but deleted it - your labour will not be the same as mine so why would it be helpful to you? But feel free to message me if you do want to hear.

Just know that you don't need to justify yourself to anyone on here.

[CalamityJ]

No labour yet sadly! Got my stretch & sweep on Tuesday so hoping it starts spontaneously before then as I'm not massively keen on being fiddled with but better than being induced.

I'm definitely planning on breastfeeding as it's both best for me & for baby but as Chunderella says sometimes what's best for me isn't best for baby when making pain relief decisions. I feel I'm more likely to be out of control with pain than in control & in pain. Whimpering like a dog is my mental image!

[saycheeeeeese]

You'll be grand...its only a day in your life!

[5madthings]

If pain relief like epidurals didn't increase the risdk of interventions and you could still be mobile etc then I would use it. But the risk of added interventions and after the three day lab our, and then three hours of pushing with ds1 with an epidural that didn't work properly anyway! Meant that for my next four births I didn't want one.

I had to argue in several of my births with drs who wanted me flat on my back etc, no medical need they just wanted it. Thankfully the midwife told them to go away when i had ds3 and again with ds4.

When I had no 5 I did have the drip and she was back to back, had to be monitered but the midwife knew I wanted to be able to move about etc and she was great so I knelt up, sat on birth ball, stood leaning over the bed. It was harder for the midwife but she was great and I had a three hour lab our and pushed dd out in just a few pushes despite her coming out in the back to back position. The midwife said had she been the right way up she would have flown out and I am sure that being mobile etc helped.

Have to say fucking love gas and air!

I don't care what others do but think women should be given the support to make an informed choice, whatever that choice is. I personally found birth an empowering experience, it hurt like fuck but I was on a natural high after each birth, literally buzzing for a few days afterwards.

[space21]

It will be an amazing, intense experience and hard work whether you have an epidural or not. It's your choice - don't let anyone influence you - trust your instinct.

I did have one for ds1 and it allowed me to rest and get ready for pushing after a looong labour but currently PG with ds2 and keeping an open mind...

Enjoy the experience whatever you choose and enjoy all those newborn cuddles

[ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay]

My godmother delivered one of Sheila Kitzenger's babies. Apparently the world famous advocate of natural child birth had an epidural. Hmmmf

[MyDarlingClementine]

"I feel I'm more likely to be out of control with pain than in control & in pain."

Absoluty, I felt totally out of it with pain and with a shot of pethadine was able to take some sort of control back.

BTW I mentally didnt do anything in my labour I was just the vessel - my body did everything not my mind.

My mind and me were just there attached to this birthing machine.