39+6 so seriously beginning to think about the actual birth process (probably about time!). A few NCT friends have given birth already and have a few RL friends who have also given birth in the last few months. The general gist has been that they've made it through childbirth with as little pain relief as possible. One posted on Facebook that he was 'really proud of his wife as she'd done it all without pain relief'. And that made me feel a bit 
as before then I hadn't thought that people would think worse of me if I went for whatever pain relief I felt was necessary. Speaking to the midwife last week she mentioned the birth plan which has that I want to know when it's becoming too late for an epidural so I can make a decision about if I need it. She basically tried to say I should not bother with one and I should just try for gas and air. I'm not sure why I should feel the need to be a hero and go without pain relief? Would it make me a 'better' mum? Why wouldn't I want to make it as easy as possible on me?
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Childbirth
Pain relief - why is there stigma against using it?
CalamityJ · 15/02/2013 20:34
I had no pain relief. It wasn't out of competitiveness. I didn't want the epidural because I have a fear of loosing the use of my legs. By the time I got to the hospital, I was fully dilated, so the nurse said it was too late for any pain killers anyway. I was offered gas and air, but it really didn't agree with me so I didn't bother with it.
I was always very positive about birth, was never scared of it, which may have helped. I also was so sick of being pregnant I would have gone through anything to get the bugger out. Also I am ginger and there's a rumor we have a higher pain threshold, so that may have helped 
I don't actually know what's in an epidural, Rooney! Just gave codeine as an example opioid that most of us have taken. Some people don't like it, but (pop fact) most over-the-counter doses are standardised to the average adult male body weight, so if you are a small woman, a lot of "recommended doses" can be a bit strong.
Sorry for thread hijack! Will leave the discussion to people who've actually been though labour 
I would seem out all the information so that you know the facts, including risks, then you can make up your own mind OP. And try not to worry too much about what other people are saying; this may be something that they are really proud of, but it has no bearing on you, or at least it shouldn't.
Personally, I think that women should feel empowered way before the labour part by providing clear, concise, accurate, non judgemental information on pain management and other coping strategies. Empowerment comes through choice and that being acted upon, and obviously with such dire figures in women receiving the pain relief they wanted, there is a breakdown somewhere. Don't get me wrong, sometimes there won't be an anaesthetist available or some other situation may arise out of your control, but surely with such stark figures this points to a real problem?
I felt very empowered after giving birth via an EMCS for DS1 and an ELCS for DS2 and I think this came about from being listened to during labour with my first and also in the care leading up to my second child, as well as knowing all the options available to me. For me, a natural and normal birth wasn't vital because I considered labour as a means to an end, and pain relief was something to help me get to that end. As an aside, I have fibromyalgia, so pain management is something that i was particularly interested in as i am in pain every single day - immediately after my ELCS was glorious what with the voltarol and spinal taking all my pain away .
Overall, I felt at my choices were respected (although that meant little to me in the grand scheme of things) and the one person who has actually commented that I am weak for having an ELCS as I'm "taking the pain free easy option" doesn't matter at all - in the end it's about you and whether you had a positive, empowering experience not someone else's judgement on you.
"Is there really such a stigma? Not come across it myself"
IME women generally fall over themselves to extol the wonders of their epidurals. No matter what they think in private, generally nobody wants to be thought of as a 'natural birth nazi' (whatever that is) and so most women will say whatever it is they think will make them seem most sympathetic, non-competitive and understanding in the company of other women.
I'm not bothered about being popular, so I say what I think.
Wanted to add - yes, it's good to be well informed.
And one of the most important things any pregnant first time mother can know (other than the importance of seeing labour as an adventure where anything can happen, and where a positive and optimistic mind set is a massive advantage) is that if she goes into an environment where epidurals are very frequently used, she's very likely to end up having one herself, whatever her plans prior to labour.
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