Im only 6months pregnant and is fearing birth already! Please help

[Trin]

Hi all,
Im currently 6 months pregnant.Little baby is moving around constantly which is always reasurring, The only thing that is really worrying me is giving birth. This is my first baby and i am very scared. I hear all stories about stillbirths and things that happen to mothers during labour. I'm a young mummy to be and i dont want to be scared about bringing the little one into this world. Is there anyone who has experienced such fear?? is it common or am i just being silly. Please help. xxxxxx

[Highlander]

go for a CS. Giving birth over-rated when you think the most impt task ahead of you is being a parent.

[Busyalexsmummy]

your be fine, im young too-21, i had a horrid labour first time, everything id planned went straight out the window, but 2nd time, it went exactly as planned.
ok labour is not nice, and yes things can go wrong for a small minority of people, but overall most women get through it/over it and if it was that terrible no one would have more than one baby! try and be as positive and prepared for it as you can as fear itself can lengthen labour and increase the incidense of intervention & complications.

gd luck x

[PeachyClair]

I found the labours to be far more tolerable than being pg, tbh. Yeah OK it hurts, but you haven't got the what-the-hell-is-happening scaredy factor you'd get with an injury, or the longevity factor you'd get with an illness. So you know that in 12 hours or so it's over, one way or another. For 12 hours work you get a baby. And it's not even 12 hours really- the gaps between contractions are actually genuinely free of pain.

I'm the biggest wuss I know, bout of flu and I'm dying, three kids no epidurals. One was a long labour (2nd) but a massage, lavendar and rose oil and it was actually an enjoyable, gentle experience. Good luck.

[Mosschops30]

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[lovecloud]

Giving birth is painfull full stop but so are lots of things in life and you just get through them.

Also you maybe surprise yourself at how well you handle your labour. One of my friends who we would jokingly call a "weed" growing up gave birth to three children all natural labours and she found the pain bearable each time. So when I fell pregnant after her I went into thinking if she can do it then so can I. I also had a natural birth but it was bloody painful but obviously not painful enough as I wanted another when dd was only 10 months but for finacial reasons I held back and I am happy to say I am 6 months pregnant too but this time I am not scared as I know what to expect. In some weird way I am actually looking forward to it and I hope to give birth naturally again.

Maybe you should consider Pregnancy relaxtion and hynotherapy cds, we use them at Yoga and they are fantastic. If you are interested I can find out the exact name at Yoga this week and email you the titles. They cost £16 each.
I am going to buy a birth one, they help you to mentally prepare for labour. They less scared you are the easier your labour. Have you got a birth partner, its their main job to help keep you calm and to remind you that your are ok and you will see your baby soon. Each contraction you feel will be bringing you a step closer to meeting your little angel.

Good luck - I guarantee you will be fine and will want to do it all over again... well not straight away unless you are really mad like some mumsnetters on here

[lovecloud]

Also forgot to say that dont feel bad about planning to use pain relief such as epidurals, they are there to help you so use them if you want.
I have quite a few friends who raved on about how great their epidurals where and one actually read her mag until she was told to push and did not feel a thing.

[MsMoo]

Hi there,
Will all the media hype it is not surprising that you find birth a scary prospect. I must admit I was terrified too. I found that doing lots of reading about my options really helped to calm me down. One of the sites that I found which helped a lot with my understanding of the caesarean side of things was this one
Good luck to you.

[Taffindra]

Its unlikey to be as bad as you think - you do hear some horrible stories - but no one is interested in hearing the good stories are they? I was TERRIFIED - I'm not sure I've ever obsessed over anything as much in my life - and of course it just wasn't as bad as I had expected. I had a good team at St.Thomas's (baby had a serious heart condition - so we had a special team of midwives). My particular midwife was fabulous, which was lucky. Don't be afraid to ask for pain relief - and use of certain key words always help - ie 'I'm not COPING with this level of pain' etc. Epidural is the most fantastic thing ever invented - you literally can't feel anything if it works properly. So it is possible to do the whole thing with very little pain.
Make sure you ask for the Epidural early though - it can take ages if its busy!

[Spidermama]

There are so scarey birth stories around that it might be a good idea to read some better ones. I found Ina May's Guide to Childbirth really inspiring with details of some beautiful births. They are possible. I've had a couple of really lovely births and a couple of harder, but still uncomplicated ones.
Sheila Kitzinger also writes very well and helped prepare me for my first birth.

I read quite a lot because for me information was power and made me less fearful.

I know you can't switch it off but try to work on the fear because it's counter productive. (Easy to say I know).

Pre natal classes can be helpful (NCT ones are particularly good) or pregnancy yoga. I've heard good things about hypnosis for labour, but haven't experienced it myself.

Remember too that feelings of apprehension are a natural part of the pregnancy (getting ready) and you may well find they subside a bit as you read more and learn more about what really happens in birth.

All the best.

[emmawill]

With my 1st I had planned a water birth in a birthing centre with my favorite music playing, and no pain relief, i thought it was going to be a breeze, reality however, had to be induced 15 days over so was in hospital rather birthing centre, had to be constantly montiroed therefore strapped to bed, 18 and half hours and gas and air then eventually had an epidural which i wished i had asked for earlier it was a godsend I really would reckon them why be in pain when you don't have to I could lie in bed and chat to my husband it was great. But no matter what no matter how your birth goes its all worth it when you hold them if it wasn't we would of have one!!!

[Blu]

TRin, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Next time you see a really huge crowd on tv - a big packed football match, for e.g, just think every one of those people is a result of someone giving birth. It happens, it's a normal part of life, and people who do it go on to have more, and more!

I wasn't scared - I was confident my body could do it, and anyway, I thought if the worst comes to the worst, it won't last more than 24 hours, and I can have an epidural if I want one.

Like many other women, I didn't even find labour particularly painful. It lasted a long time, and in the end I had a ventouse delivery, but I got as far as pushing for ages without even wanting gas and air. But you don't hear those stories.

Look after yourself and try to enjoy your pregnancy, it's a special time, a bit of an unpredictable flurry for a day or so, and then you have your baby. By the time you are full term, believe me, you will be v impatient to go into labour!

[hjscho]

Its normal to feel scared as you never really know what it is going to be like. All the professionals I encountered at both the ante natal classes and during pregnancy and labour were helpful. Just ask all the questions you need to in order to put your mind at rest. Once it all starts you forget the fear as there is more on your mind - its an amazing experience. I hope it all goes well for you.