AIBU to still think about labour with DD2 and find it horrendous?

[Fatshionista]

I gave birth in November 2010 to our lovely DD2. I gave birth at 38 weeks after a two hour labour on the floor in front of the X Factor and the paramedics and midwives almost didn't make it in time. I thought I was constipated but my waters were bulging out and I was pushing.

To make it worse DP had D&V and DD1 who was 2 at the time was awake and feeding me chocolate fingers.

After the birth the placenta got stuck and this is where the fun began. I was taken into hospital and DP couldn't come with me because of his D&V so I was alone. They tried to manually remove it without anaesthetic (just gas and air) which was horrendous and the doctor had his arm fully up me. He then told me I had to go to theatre to have a spinal block which was my worst fear and I had to leave my baby in the care of the midwives.

For eight hours I was numb and couldn't feel much while DD2 was breastfeeding (I couldn't even pick her up) and I had to stay overnight in a hospital I hate on my own with DD2 while reeling from the night before.

AIBU to be scarred from this? I never want to do that again. I feel so bad because when I look at DD2 now I realise she's amazing and I shouldn't even be thinking of labour but I still have nightmares.

[UrsulaBuffayHere2Help]

This sounds a bit rarr and woo but MN have lots of campaigns, have we had one about births in this country? The feeling I get from lots of women, especially those who have already given birth, is of fear. This shouldn't be the norm, surely?

[neptunesdaughter]

YANBU! I also gave birth in November last year to my DD (first baby). My birth was fairly straightforward (although I was induced) but I tore very badly and after holding my baby briefly was rushed into theatre, given a spinal block (which was what I had wanted to avoid) and spent the next couple of hours being sewn up in front of about 20 people coming in and out of the theatre.

My DH was holding our DD so I wasn't very worried about her, but to be away from her for so long and then unable to move and feeling weird/sore/spaced out/happy/sad etc all at the same time was hard.

I still cry about it now - I took a long time to heal and still sometimes feel like my insides are about to fall out. I had other complications too (anal fissures...) and felt like I would never be the same again. I still don't.

I had physiotherapy afterwards, which was help to do pelvic floor exercises and the woman who saw me was amazing. As soon as I started talking about how I felt 'down there' I burst into tears about the whole experience. She not only helped me physically, she also spent a long time talking to me about birth, complications, how I was completely normal to feel like this. She said that I could sit down with a midwife and talk through my notes and what happened, and said that she had done this after one of her births and it really helped. She also referred me for counselling if I wanted it. I didn't use it in the end because I was too exhausted to contemplate going out to an appointment with DD (terrible sleeper) but wish I had.

Could you speak to your doctor about getting some kind of counselling about this?

HTH

[RowanMumsnet]

Hi there - just popping my head in to say we've moved this thread to 'Childbirth'.

MNHQ x