Anyone had a 4th degree tear....and a colostomy :-(

[spudballoo]

Hello everyone,

I gave birth to my beautiful boy 2 weeks ago, alas not the homebirth I'd planned but a very long, 3 day, difficult labour. All very traumatic, and ended with a forceps delivery. Whilst the delivery was in fact easy (he was low down in the birth canal, but being held back by a very short umbilical cord) the forceps caused me major internal damage. I went straight to theatre to repair the damage; a 10cm hole between my vagina and rectum, and my sphincter is split in two. The damage is so bad that I have been given a temporary (hopefully) colostomy to allow everything to heal. I just hope and pray that it does, if it doesn't then I will have the colostomy for life.

It's all been very hard, and coping with recovering from a difficult labour and delivery, a new born, recovering from major surgery and a colostomy isn't the easiest thing I've ever done!

Just wondered if anyone else has been through the same, and what the outcome is?

Despite everything, my gorgeous boy is worth it and I'd do it all over again in a minute for him. xx

Spud
x

[jabberwocky]

Didn't have this as ds was born via c-section. Poor you! I'm sure there will be other MN'ers around who have been through this. Have read posts of tremendous tears before.

Congratulations on your little boy!

[Toothache]

OOOUUUCCCCCCH!

eyes watering<

I had a nasty tear with ds that went toward(but not entire through to) my rectum... verrrrry painful. Not as bad as yours though I'm afraid.

So sorry that you've had this terrible time! BUt congratulations on the birth of your bouncing baby boy.

[sweetkitty]

I thought 3rd degree tear was as bad as it got poor you, I only had a 2nd degree tear caused by DD having her hands at her face.

Hope you recover soon and congrats on your little boy!

[PrettyCandles]

Oh you poor thing, what a rough ride.

And I thought I had had it rough!

I don't know exactly about your situation, but my mum had major surgery on her rectum nearly three years ago, and it was a near thing whether or not she would have to have a colostomy. In the end she didn't, but, although her recovery was technically excellent, she many times almost wished she had had the colostomy as it was a very slow and painful period. I take it that you do not have to poo? That was the worst thing for my mum, and the reason she sometimes felt that way about the colostomy. She had to keep everything scrupulously clean - her bathroom was like a surgery with all the gear she needed 'just' to go to the loo.

Mum's recovery was slow but steady - months, not weeks. But every week was better than the previous week.

It must be difficult with a newborn - do you have plenty of help?

You've done so well in such a difficult time!

[Rachey1969]

I'm so sorry, it sounds like you had an awful time, like Sweetkitty I had a 2nd degree tear and I thought that was bad enough - I really hope it heals well for you.

[spudballoo]

Yes, I don't have to poo...the bag collects it. Lovely. But it does mean changing the bag frequently whilst my bowels settle down, it's pretty grim. But much better to have the bag - I was given the option of being repaired and being nil by mouth for 5 days and hoping all would be well. But the safer option is the colostomy, and grim as it is I wanted to give myself the best possible chance of recovering properly. My colorectal consultant has since told me I made the right decision, as it's unlikely I would have healed well enough in 5 days.

My husband is being wonderful as I can't change nappies, clothes, do baths etc. So he does all that and does all the cooking and washing etc. We don't have family close by, but my friends are being very helpful. Luckily my husband owns his business and has just walked out and left them to it for as long as it takes.

I am getting great support from my midwife, health visitor and from the hospital. So it really could be worse!

x

[HellKat]

OUCH
Awww Hunny poor you!
No advice I'm afraid. Only had a diddy tear up inside with ds1 and healed quickly. Have you tried typing it in a search engine to see what comes up? maybe it'll tell you some tricks to ease the pain etc.
Congrats on your little man and a huge pat on the back to your dh. Well done girl, you've done a great job.
Rest up and take it easy x

[Coathanger]

spudballoo, I haven't had a similar experience to share with you but I wanted to let you know that I hope everything works out and you make a speedy and full recovery soon. I thought I was unlucky to have had 30 stitches inside and out with DS3, but now I realise I had it easy really.

I genuinely wish you all the very best, Hun. xxx

Oh and of course, CONGRATS on the arrival of your wee man. They are worth it aren't they

XXXXX

[Willow2]

Spud - I had a fourth degree but not the colostomy - but don't panic, apparently the best course of action is to have one to allow everything time to heal. I can give you loads of information about physio, decent surgeons etc etc - please CAT me and I will do all I can to help.

[spudballoo]

Thanks so much Willow2, I have CATed you. x

[PrettyCandles]

I (in my 'vast' experience) think you made a wise and brave decision to give your bowel a chance to heal. I'm sure your recovery will be faster than my mum's was, especially with the two marvelous men in your life. How long does your consultant think you may have to have the colostomy - and is it another major surgery to remove it?

Your dh may feel a bit ground-down by all the work, but there is a positive side to it because he is getting the chance to be so much closer to his child than he might have been otherwise. With ds I mix-fed, so dh often gave him bottles, and later developed PND, so dh had to look after ds. But dd I fully breastfed and didn't get PND, and dh found it much harder to bond with her and really feel like her father, as he hadn't been so involved in looking after her. Don't get me wrong, he's a very involved father in all respects, but after his experience with ds he really missed that early intimacy with dd.

Are you able to try breastfeeding, or does the bag get in the way?

[spudballoo]

Hello again

I am exclusively bf, and feeling very proud of myself for doing so! It's a bit tricky with the bag, and it was very hard for the first 10 days or so as moving around/sitting up was very hard and painful. But I'm determined to keep with it!

I see the consultant in 3 weeks for him to have a look and see how it's healing. Then it's another 6-7 weeks of various tests before the colostomy can be reversed, assuming all is well. The reversal is straightforward, open me up and pop the bowel back in bascially. But it's the general anaesthetic that's the problem, and thus having to stay in hospital - the same with one lot of tests. I assume it's going to mean nil by mouth too, so BF will be tricky. Oh well, no point worrying about that now!!

Yes, my husband is definitely feeling very hands on! And I think that he's enjoying it, although it's hard work of course.

I'm sorry to hear of your PND first time around, happy that you didn't suffer for the second though.

xx

[starlover]

spudballoo i haven't experienced this, but read the thread and just wanted to say a big WOW! because you're doing so fantastically well!
Good on you for persevering with the breastfeeding... and sounding so upbeat!!!!! Hope all goes well and you get back to normal soon

[jabberwocky]

Wow, you are handling this so well. I'll bet as long as you have kept your weight up beforehand and don't get dehydrated the bfing will be fine during the reversal. Just think, when ds is a teenager with a smart mouth you can say, "And I went through (insert colostomy story here) just to bring you into the world, and this is the thanks I get?" I'm already working on my story for my ds.

[suzywong]

Blimey!

No practical advice but Hats Off to you madame

[PrettyCandles]

Wow, you are brill - what an amazing family your ds has been born into.

I don't know anything about it, but there have been plenty of discussions about breastfeeding and GA - encouraging ones I think. And if your ds has to have a bottle from time to time because of it all, it really won't be a problem and he will come back to your boob again.

Oh I do hope that this time next year it will all be a fuzzy blur for you...it's true what our mums say, that you forget the pain. Though some pains take a long time to forget. And you don't have to be cheeful, and you don't have to 'cope', and you don't have to recover to a timetable.

[bundle]

no experience of this either, thank god, but I too wanted to applaud you

[SleepyJess]

Me too! Well done you, Spudballoo!!!!! And congrats on your little boy. xx

[Willow2]

Spud - I've emailed you... about three times as my server is playing up and keeps telling me the message hasn't been sent! Post on here if you haven't received anything.

By the way, you are doing a cracking job.

[spudballoo]

Thanks ladies, you're all so kind xx

Willow, thanks a MILLION for your super helpful email. I can't tell you how reassuring it is. I have responded, hope your email problems are sorted.

xx

[Pennies]

Hi there, Spudbaloo - I posted on your thread on hitched (am Tigga there) the other day when you'd had the night from hell with DS feeding loads.

Did it all settle down?

[mears]

I have been a midwife for 20 years and have never come across this happening spudballoo. I presume a specialist bowel surgeon was called to repair the tear? I do hope that you make a full recovery. Congratulations on managing to breastfeed after all you have been through. I hope you make a full recovery.

[moondog]

Spud,sounds tremendously traumatic.
Hats off to you for breastfeeding and wonderful to hear that your dh is doing a good job.

Congratulations and wishing you a speedy recovery.

XXXXXX

[aloha]

Oh you poor thing. What a dreadful thing to happen. Congratulations on the birth of your son and congratulations again on getting on so well with breastfeeding. He has a wonderful mother. I truly hope you have a great recovery. You deserve it.

[spudballoo]

Mears....no, and it's one of the questions that I have. I was repaired by the obstetric team. It only struck me as an issue when I was was handed over to the colo-rectal consultant the next day. Given the extensive nature of the damage, I can't understand why the colo-rectal team weren't called to perform the repair. I get the impression it's one of 'those' issues.

I am confident there was no negligence, but I wrote to the hospital yesterday asking for all my notes as I need to be as clear as I can in my mind about what happened.

Yes, we have passed the growth spurt and had a couple of better nights and days since! Thankfully.

x