17 years old constantly smiles at his own thoughts

[take10yearsofmylife]

Posting for traffic, I've got no where to go 😞

My son is 17, he used to be a happy, sociabl little boy before adolescent.  Now he is constantly smiles at his own thoughts, it happens when his mind is not engaged with doing something like talking to people or playing games.  It's like he is in a different world...

This becomes very problematic, he had a part time job working in a retail shop.  Whenever he is not engaged, he starts to walk up and down and smiles at his own thoughts, he is like this at home everyday, otherwise he is a normal 17 years old.  We are not able to change him because he is not aware of it when this happens... Unsurprisingly, the shop owner decided to 'let him go' shortly after, we were all extremely devastated as he really enjoyed it. I can't blame the shopkeeper neither because he does look crazy when it happens.

I really wanting to help him and CAMHS dismissed him.  He had a few private psychologist sessions but they are totally useless to him, I guess because he is quite unusual...

I never seen anyone like him, not even on TV or internet search. He looks completely normal and able to socialising with people and strangers, but when his mind is not engaged, he walks into different world involuntary, he enjoys humours and giggles, I guess that is his fantasy world.


I don't really know what I am asking for.. I guess to see if anyone know anybody like my son?

[Loubelle70]

I wouldn't worry so much...hes probably getting into a bit of a daydream...i do it. It gives the brain a rest from the crap

[Midnlghtrain]

I daydream when not engaged in active tasks sometimes - I also smile at things I think? Sometimes even laugh if I'm thinking something funny! I'm totally fine and a normal functioning adult.

I'm not sure this alone needs help? It's quite common to daydream?

[MissHavershamReturns]

Any signs of inattentive ADHD? I am like this and have a diagnosed child

[MCOut]

Surely this is just daydreaming. I know I do this.

[Stroganoff88]

I wouldn't worry about it! I do it apparently and my ds is a daydreamer. You don't actually know they dismissed him for that. Don't make a big deal of it. If he's happy, no need to get help.
Honestly you don't want to be under camhs unless you really need to. It took 4 years for us and my ds was very poorly mentally.

[UnimaginableWindBird]

Isn't that fairly normal? I do, admittedly, have ADHD, but the daydreaming and mental conversations are generally nice rather than a problem.

[XiCi]

Doesn't everyone do this? What a bizarre post

[XiCi]

He won't have been let go from his job for smiling 🙄

[BoohooWoohoo]

Seems unfair to be sacked for smiling. I understand if his default was a more unappealing expression like he has gas or something but smiling while daydreaming isn’t unusual at all unless he looks like The Joker or something.

[Threeboysnohair]

He sounds lovely. Please don't try to change this innocent trait in him.

I often find my mind wandering and smile/laugh at really inappropriate times during work meetings. I just say to people, I'm really sorry, it's just me being me!

[LadeOde]

Why are posters being so dismissive? surely if it was normal smiling to yourself that most of us do he wont be 'let go' from his job and @OP won't be posting for help.

@OP When you say, 'smiling at his thoughts' can you elaborate a bit more? what does he say is going on in his head when he actually smiles? does he suddenly stop mid attending to customers and start pacing up and down smiling? how exactly does it present?

When did this behaviour start? or has he always been like this?

[Natsku]

Do you think it could be maladaptive daydreaming? If its happening to the extent it interferes negatively with his life?

[pikkumyy77]

Not to scare you but have you asked him if he is hearing voices? More people than you think hear voices or attend to internal stimuli. It sounds like you and his employer both find something very off about his withdrawal and inner attention when in public. He could be in a prodromal stage for a psychotic break. Review the criteria snd see if they fit.

[motherofdilemmas]

@Midnlghtrain

I daydream when not engaged in active tasks sometimes - I also smile at things I think? Sometimes even laugh if I'm thinking something funny! I'm totally fine and a normal functioning adult.

I'm not sure this alone needs help? It's quite common to daydream?

Yeah, I do this too. Frequently. Surely it’s not that unusual?! I find myself quite amusing. I think that’s a good thing!

[motherofdilemmas]

@LadeOde

Why are posters being so dismissive? surely if it was normal smiling to yourself that most of us do he wont be 'let go' from his job and @OP won't be posting for help.

@OP When you say, 'smiling at his thoughts' can you elaborate a bit more? what does he say is going on in his head when he actually smiles? does he suddenly stop mid attending to customers and start pacing up and down smiling? how exactly does it present?

When did this behaviour start? or has he always been like this?

Edited

I guess because it’s not clear from OPs posts that this IS a problem. It’s not clear if he was dismissed for this reason from the post. MH professionals were not concerned and dismissed him. OP can’t find anything about this online, maybe because it’s actually quite normal and not a MH thing at all.

I think OP needs to give more detail about it being a definite problem.

[SaturdayGiraffe]

Maladaptive daydreaming?
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/mental-health/maladaptive-daydreaming

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

Did the shop owner say why they let him go? And how did he react when it happened?

Have you asked him what he is thinking about? Could you ask his permission to film him so he can see what other people are seeing?

[HeadsShouldersTitsandArse]

What a weird post,
your concerned because your son smiles at his thoughts.

I mean, don’t we always tell people to think happy thoughts?😂

[LadeOde]

@motherofdilemmas Did you miss this bit from OP's post -
This becomes very problematic, We are not able to change him because he is not aware of it when this happens... Unsurprisingly, the shop owner decided to 'let him go' shortly after, we were all extremely devastated as he really enjoyed it. I can't blame the shopkeeper neither because he does look crazy when it happens.

But go on and dismiss @OP's concerns and just because CAMHS weren't concerned then obviously there is no problem. My goodness the the number of times CAHMS has dismissed valid concerns God help us!

[ChaosAndCrumbs]

@motherofdilemmas

I guess because it’s not clear from OPs posts that this IS a problem. It’s not clear if he was dismissed for this reason from the post. MH professionals were not concerned and dismissed him. OP can’t find anything about this online, maybe because it’s actually quite normal and not a MH thing at all.

I think OP needs to give more detail about it being a definite problem.

To be fair, unless there’s a specific issue they’re looking for, it can be tricky to work out in a few sessions if anything’s going on. Something like ADHD (inattentive) might be missed if they’re looking for something completely different, like BPD.

Equally, there’s not enough info to indicate an issue, so could be nothing. However, if others notice it and his job will confirm it was a reason, then it is likely something is going on.

[LadeOde]

@ChaosAndCrumbs I completely agree, which is why the fact OP has been to CAHMS and they dismissed it doesn't necessarily mean nothing is amiss. It is quite common with neurological disorders that the mother is the first to start to notice the strange behaviour but gets dismissed as it seems completely normal by outsiders because the mannerisms mimic normal behaviour patterns.
Based on personal experience it comes across as OP trying to communicate the oddness of it and the smiling is rather out of context. It's also interesting OP's ds seems completely unaware of this behaviour 9normally you would know that you were smiling to yourself and pacing up and down) so I'm wondering whether its a tic.

[Loubelle70]

@Threeboysnohair

He sounds lovely. Please don't try to change this innocent trait in him.

I often find my mind wandering and smile/laugh at really inappropriate times during work meetings. I just say to people, I'm really sorry, it's just me being me!

🤣 me too

[CaramelMac]

I assume you mean he’s grinning and laughing to himself rather than just a smile, as if something is happening but no one around him can see/hear it. This doesn’t sound normal and I’d be concerned too.

[TorroFerney]

@CaramelMac

I assume you mean he’s grinning and laughing to himself rather than just a smile, as if something is happening but no one around him can see/hear it. This doesn’t sound normal and I’d be concerned too.

But doesn’t everyone do that when they replay things in their head? If the thing you replay is funny then you laugh. Are the people who think this is odd those maniacs people who have no inner voice?

[Sell123]

My brother does this. He has ADHD