My 10yr old cut her unibrow because her “friends” made fun

[MomRose12]

I’m deeply upset and I don’t know what to do. DD (10yrs) cut her unibrow with scissors and kept lying to me saying nothing happened. I was mad at her and she confessed.

I’m home educating DD this year (y6) as I’m on a career break. There was a LOT of girl drama going on in school anyway. She said she’d rather study at home with me. I let her stay in touch with her school “friends” via google hangouts.

There were several instances where she was blamed for something she didn’t do, girls in the group spreading lies about her in school etc so I told her to stay away from them. She however continued to be on google chat with the girls. They’ve made fun of my DD’s unibrow and she cut it! She also cut some bits of her eyebrows (slightly bruised skin there). Her unibrow is very special. It was the first thing I noticed when I saw her the first time. Although her eyebrows are a bit thick, they are gorgeous.

I’m up crying at this hour. I don’t know what to do. Please can someone help ?

[Whisky2014]

I think you should have addressed this before she got picked on tbh. The harsh reality is people will always be picked on for their looks.

[gotanysalmonsortedhahahahaha]

No òne helped me with my brows ..wish they had.i looked a bloody state.

[MrsFoxPlus4]

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin Multicultural clientele isn’t a silly comment. Like I said when trying to suggest YouTube videos a lot of them were extreme and not just minimal eyebrow treatments. And the videos I watched where the women were mixed race they were also removing baby hairs. A 10 year old doesn’t need her baby hairs waxed or damanged. So having someone who is aweare of this and making sure the OP knows isn’t silly at all.

[RedForShort]

The actual issue here is that you don't have the relationship with your daughter you thought you had. She doesn't tell you everything, maybe a pause for thought about if she really has never disliked her unibriw before?

Added to that there's been articles about Kajol Devgan's uni-eyebrow. Mentioned in interviews etc. So not exactly the norm and no mention of it being considered beautiful.

I was wondering if you were Sikh and it was this reason you felt she shouldn't pluck her brows. But seeing you are saying you will then it's not religious and more because you have an emotional attachment to it. I know she's young, but it's a small thing, one that'll make a difference to her.

Plus if you help her out over this, it's more likelt she'll be less inclinded to hide things from you.

[frozenstrawberry]

She lied to you because she knew what a nutbag you'd be about it.

If my child did this I'd take them out to get it sorted, make a day of it, spend time together, maybe go shopping and chat to her. Boost her up and be kind. So she'll actually want to tell you things and confide in future.

[rainflowerstar]

You think a unibrows special really? How many other ten year olds do you know with a unibrow? I know none. Stop making it about you and teach your daughter how to care for her eyebrows.

[NowYouHaveDoneIt]

She obviously now feels self conscious about it now so will affect her confidence surely? I recently saw a young asian girl with a really dark thick moustache area over her lip and felt sorry for her as I bet she got teased at school about it. At least you're supporting yr dc.

[MarshaBradyo]

Crying about this sounds overly dramatic

[CherryPavlova]

I think the fact you got mad at her is exactly the reason why she cut it herself with scissors instead of asking you for help and fixing the problem in a sensible manner.

My youngest asked her older sister to pluck hers about aged ten. Stop doing what you want and think what your daughter might want. Children tease each other; always have and always will. The response is not a weeping mother but an “Oh dear, lets get that tidied up a bit”.

I’m not sure it sounds like home schooling in that vital year before secondary was a good idea and her best interests either. Feels like that may have been about you not her too.

[cushioncovers]

I think the fact you got mad at her is exactly the reason why she cut it herself with scissors instead of asking you for help and fixing the problem in a sensible manner.

This

[birdsdestiny]

Whilst we are all fussing about a child's eyebrows I hope someone is challenging those girls because otherwise they will grow up thinking commenting on peoples appearance is ok. That is more important.

[Nothisispatrick]

If she was able to cut it with scissors then it must be quite a bit longer than the one in that picture.

It would frankly be cruel to let her start secondary school with a unibrow. You think these girls are bullies and bitches now, things will get much worse in secondary. No girl wants a unibrow.

[Soontobe60]

I also get that you don't want it removing and think it's beautiful. My DD was born with a fine line of dark hair down her lower back, I loved it! However, even then I knew that if it persisted into adulthood she would probably want it removed. (It disappeared by the time she started school sadly ).
Being a pre teen girl (or boy even) is an absolute minefield these days, mainly thanks to social media. Everyone wants to fit in with a norm that is nigh on impossible for your average person. Photoshopping and filters applied to every celeb image skews what they look like in real life.
For whatever reason, your DD doesn't want a unibrow any more. We can all bleat on about girls not bowing to peer pressure or bullies but at the end of the day, she's ten. She's not a sassy, mature woman who can easily tell them to fuck off and wear her brows with pride. One day, she will grow into that person with encouragement, but for now, let her have her mono sorted out. I would regularly pluck my DDs very wild eyebrows for her when she was that age, at her request!

[debbie1990]

Is it possible your DD just says she likes her eyebrows because she knows you are very precious over them and would probably react?

My sister was very dark as a child (thick black hair) but this also meant her arms/legs were darker and kids noticed it and picked on her. She was so glad my mum understood and helped her shave her legs and bleach the arm hair. Kids do point out things like this, comparing the colour of her skin to a unibrow just shows how OTT you are that is completely different.

She is unlikely to go through life happily with a unibrow.

[stillworkingitout]

I get it. My toddler DS has a beautiful monobrow. It’s slightly lighter than the rest of his brow and has a little whorl in it. I think it’s wonderful and I love looking at it. But I do wonder what it will be like when he’s older, and how he will feel about it. I’m hoping he will be ok with it, but if it’s very heavy, even though he’s a boy I’d probably help him fix it if he wanted. I have my own unibrow threaded. I find it quite painful but it gives a good long lasting result.

[Babygrey7]

Poor girl is caught between the strong opinions about her appearance of her mum and her friends....

Also you are equally a dramatic as the friends..... crying about this all night

She is caught between pleasing them and pleasing you!

Just let her do them how she wants them, it is not irreversible!

[namechange0123]

Oh OP please, let her sort it out. Bullying is far more damaging than not sticking to principles.

[GlacindaTheTroll]

I'm not sure the unibrow is a prized feature in India. The female actor you link chose to keep hers to make a statement - she is very much an outlier with her 'thing'. There is an element of challenging the norms of grooming, but it is not a look that was caught on.

Note I said grooming, not female grooming. Because dealing with a unibrow is done by both sexes. (And retaining one is sometimes a metaphor - look at Count Olaf in the Lemony Snickett books)

[Bobfossil2]

. I don’t read her messages.

It’s obviously entirely up to you what you do, but as a teacher at secondary I spend a vast majority of my time dealing will fallouts, bullying and perceived bullying over messenger, snapchat etc etc. So many parents don’t know what their children are saying. I would advise you to have a look just so you can be aware if anything gets out of control. She’s only 10.

You also asked further up if you should tell the school. Your dd doesn’t go to school does she? So why would you tell them?

[cricketmum84]

They all do it, it'll grow back.

My DS once shaved his entire eyebrows off, he was about 10 too and someone at school had said something about his eyebrows.

Laughed so much my sides hurt. He hasn't done it again 😂

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

It is to an extent culturally specific and whilst I wouldn't encourage it I can see why she did it. She is not growing up in your culture and is trying to balance between the two. Also to an extent for secondary school you need to help her find ways of not sticking out otherwise she will repeat the experience at primary. My dd has issues that cannot be hidden so I encouraged her to buy slightly trendiest footwear to mitigate things that cannot be changed. I take a two pronged approach. Firstly support her in tidying it up and maintaining it. Secondly discuss the social norms and that in your culture it is a prized look, but here it is less so. Let her see pictures of women with a unibrow so that when she is more confident she can choose. She may still decide to remove it because she is part of both cultures and you need to respect her. I suspect she lied because she was not happy to discuss it with you and getting angry makes this worse as it confirms her beliefs that she needs to sort this herself as otherwise you will over react - such as ringing her old school.

[AJPTaylor]

Yes. At 10 if it makes her feel more confident. My youngest dd has just turned 11 and I have trimmed the gap between her brows. She is happier.

[kalinkafoxtrot45]

I think it’s precisely because you love her monobrow that she went ahead and cut it, and then lied to you. Your DD is conflicted as she doesn’t want to upset you, but also wants to conform. As she grows up she’ll be taking more and more decisions by herself, without involving you. Best thing to do now, is love her, support her, gently put her in the direction of nicer friends, but also understand that she will have her own opinions about her body and how it should be. I don’t think many women outside of Frida Kahlo really want a monobrow.

[WhiskyTangoFoxtrot]

Your DD is living in Britain, where unibrow is the utter opposite of a desirable feature.

I suspect she will have considerable difficulty in telling you how much she hates it, simply because you are quite tenacious in seeing it otherwise, are determined to 'baby' her (or at least not want her to move away from babyhood) and get upset to a wholly disproportionate extent when you don't get your way.

She wants her unibrow gone. Enough to tackle it herself with inadequate equipment. You really should put her first and act on that very clear message.

[NicoAndTheNiners]

She probably didn't dislike her unibrow before because she was a small kid and they don't think about stuff like that. I know you say it's sad to change stuff about yourself because of others options but ultimately isn't that behind everything we do to do with style and beauty.

I like my hair but I dye the grey because I know that grey hair isn't ideal and people will judge. I wear makeup so I look better, etc.

I had a mono brow at that age and kids called me werewolf, etc. Let her start having it waxed/threaded.