Bullying?.... or ove-reacting?

[Grrrrrrrrrr]

Sorry for the long message.

DS is in year 2 and hates roughness/rough play. He has a close friend who he plays with a lot (and falls out with a fair bit) but other close friends he goes off and plays with, too. Today DS was playing with another friend and this friend went over to a large group of rougher boys in his class and incited them to pick on DS. They came over, pulled him to a part of the playground where there were no teachers/assistants, knocked him to the ground and held him there by the neck (he said he had a bit of trouble breathing) while they asked him all sorts of random questions. They didn't punch or kick him but kept him there. They wouldn't leave him alone for the rest of the day.

My younger DS just started school last week. He was playing with DS at the time and they grabbed him, too but one of the boys said to leave him alone because he's only in YR.

This is not the first time this friend has incited people to pick on DS and it really upsets him. I think it could very well be related to my DS going off and playing with others and a way of getting his attention or revenge. I don't know if my DS is being unfriendly towards him when he goes off or is telling him he can't play.

DH and I have been arguing about this tonight a little. At first I was thinking that it wasn't too worrying because I'd not heard of these boys approaching him before (although I hadn't heard about the trouble breathing at that point). DH thinks it's very serious. He spent a very long time talking to DS about it and getting the details. He told him not to be pushed around (although not to hit unless he was being hurt by someone) and he thinks we should ask DS's teacher to talk to these boys and DS's friend.

I hear so many stories of kids falling out/hurting each other that I think it happens to most of the kids on the odd occasion.

I don't know what to think now after a long time going round in circles with DH.

Do nothing unless it happens again?

Talk to the teacher and ask her to keep an eye out?

Talk to the teacher and ask her to speak to the children? I don't want to cause waves if it's not necessary.

Put the emphasis on DS's friend or the other boys?

[Grrrrrrrrrr]

Thanks. I think I will, in a 'just telling you what happened so you can keep an eye on things' kind of way.

I think the bigger issue of the two is DS's friend asking people to 'Get Him' because that is something that has happened many times before.

[Carrotsandcelery]

I would talk to the teacher. Point out that you have only heard one side of the story but tell her what you have had reported to you. It allows her the opportunity to talk to the whole class about ways of dealing with things that upset them in the playground and ask them to think of ways of solving problems without getting physical or being mean. It also means she can ask the staff supervising the playground to keep a particular eye on your ds.