I'm in the seventh circle of breastfeeding hell......

[JetLi]

DD is 7 days old. Initial breastfeeding was good if painful. Morphine was used in labour and (I blame DP's genes) she is very, very laid back such that demand feeding would mean left to her own devices, she only fed every 6/7 hours which wasn't enough. Advised by midwife & breastfeeding counsellor to wake to feed every 3 hours which we tried, but she refused to latch on leading to both me and her getting increasingly distressed. We'd try for say an hour and then she'd end up with formula in an effort just to get something inside her.
Anyway to cut a long story short, my milk is in, the worst of the engorgement has passed, I'm now pumping - (I'm averaging around 60ml with a 30 minute pump, 15 minutes each side)and we're now feeding her 3 hourly with EBM via bottle and we're got plenty of wet/dirty nappies, and some weight gain and all around a very contented, lovely baby.
Sadly we can't say the same for Mummy because DD refuses entirely to entertain the breast and I feel like an utter shit because I've managed to create a whole nipple confusion thing now which didn't exist before. It's soul destroying. I'm trying to console myslef that she is at least getting breastmilk albeit by an unorthodox method, but how the heck can I re-introduce her love-affair with the breast? I offer at every other feed, after a bit of expressing so the breast is soft and pliable and the nipple is erect and milky, and I offer just for a few minutes, but the poor wee thing seems to be terrified of me and my boobs now and my confidence is at rock bottom. She'll maybe lap a bit at the nipple but then just stares up at me with such a petrified little face and starts to whimper that it breaks my heart. I've tried various positions to no avail.

Shall this too pass? I don't know what to do - breastfeeding counsellor is back on Wednesday and on Thursday we can go to the local drop-in, so help is coming but it seems a long way away and I don't know that time is on our side here.

And I feel so utterly inadequate DP is a great support, but I feel as though my daughter is frightened of me.

[logrrl]

well done you! what a clever baby as well!

[JetLi]

Big weigh-in with the health visitor today - wish us luck. I'm pretty sure she's gained because she's getting such a chunky little thing. Will report back in a couple of hours

[treedelivery]

Good luck!

[JetLi]

Mummy is making gold top
8lb 14oz today so DD is averaging 1oz weight gain a day so we're all really pleased.
A big cheer for all the breastfeeding support I've had from every quarter!!

[haventsleptforayear]

Ahh what a lovely story!

Congratulations!

[treedelivery]

Hi-5!

[Fufulina]

Oh JetLi that's wonderful. Made me want to have a little cry. I had problems getting established with DD (now 7 months and still EBF) - as she wasn't latching and I ended up using nipple shields for a couple of days - and MN was a fantastic support for me then. So so pleased for you. [Embarrassed how emotional this thread has made me emoticon].

[cathylb]

I just found this website and read this post and have sat here with tears running down my face! You sound like me 3 years ago when my son was born - two weeks of sobbing, pumping round the clock, baby went hysterical every time my boob went anywhere near him. It took a very patient BFN counsellor about 5 days to get us sorted out and then we never looked back.

I'm currently feeding baby number 2 and he's massive! well done to you both for sticking at it x