what is breastfeeding supposed to feel like?

[Spink]

this might sound like a bit of a numpty question, but I'm wondering if it is really true that "if you're doing it right, it doesn't hurt".

In my own experience, it often HAS hurt, and I really don't know if that is because I have always done it 'wrong' or if I just have sensitive boobs / children with a particularly piranha-like approach
I breastfed ds til he was 14 months and am breastfeeding dd, who is 4 weeks, so I should know I guess - but if I'm honest, with ds it was horribly painful for the first few months and then was sometimes uncomfortable but always noticeable - a definite sucking/pulling sensation. Let down often stings. With dd, it was very sore for the first two weeks and now just uncomfortable at times. Apparently my (and my dc's) positioning and latch have always been fine.

For those of you who have found breastfeeding fairly straightforward, what does it feel like?? Is there any sensation at all? and where on the spectrum of comfort-discomfort is it?
Just want to make sure my expectations of what 'correct' breastfeeding should feel like are right...

[AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump]

Duchesse I had to read that so many times before I realised you weren't talking about nipples.

[duchesse]

hahahaha! That's not what I meant, but bizarrely I do have a third, completely vestigial, nipple about 5 inches below my left breast.

[BadgerQueen]

It hurt horribly for the first few weeks with both my DDs and I wouldn't have got through this time without the MNet bf ladies and a lot of Lansinoh, I thought I would just know what to do this time round, but sstill had to go through the fainting with pain bit. It is complicated - and only now do I realise that it was a combination of DDs learning (they never opened their mouths wide enough) and me working out what worked for them and looking back I think that I had blocked ducts as well as cracked nipples and thrush - but its all so hard to tell the first time! There must be as many different experiences of pain in feeding as there are mothers and babies - but support and magic cream can get you through. If you are lucky and you and baby get it right then its magic, but for some of us it takes a few weeks and even months - women need to know that it is a skill to be practised and worked at and even if you have done it before and are doing it "right" you can still get all sorts of pain. But its worth it, I think.

[mistlethrush]

For me it only hurt one side - I had a crack that just wouldn't go away - latch on and about 5 secs was v.v.v painful - then it improved to a tollerable level. Otherside was completely fine throughoug Let down felt 'fizzy' somehow - no other way to describe sort of tingly sensation, and this was the feeling both sides. MW not interested in crack... Just persisted and ended up feeding until 22mo, despite probably 6 months of that being painful one side.

[MrsMopple]

I can't really describe what it feels like as it's more than 2 years since I was feeding my ds - but the best piece of advice given to me (and which I passed on to all of my friends) was 'grit your teeth and count to ten'
Bfing DOES hurt initially, both when the latch is right and the strong pins and needles tingling of letdown - but it only lasts for a couple of weeks at most. I wouldn't have bfed for as long as I did if it had continued to hurt.
Luckily (? long story!) for me, my ds was in scbu for the first few days and the staff there were much more helpful and realistic about how to bf and the toe curling pain of first latches. That said, I got a bollocking from a midwife on the postnatal ward 'You're doing THAT wrong, is that how they told you bf in SCBU?'. Luckily I was recovered enough from an emergency cs and ds had recovered enough for me to be cross and to say 'I'm doing it like this because it feels comfortable and he's feeding well'

Ooops. I'm obviously still angry about my totally crap experience of my local hospital over 3 years later!

So, I'd say to anyone, give it a go, expect it to be quite uncomfortable for a few weeks, but then it all settles down and is just great. - But as a previous poster said, sadly you may not get all the right sort of support on the post natal ward.

[frazzledoldbag]

I'm so relieved it's not just me.
Had a terrible time (for the 1st 10 wks) feeding DD1. Cried through every feed with agony. Bleeding cracked nipples. Absolute hell. BF counsellor and HV said my latch was fine. Was awful. Then I used nipple shields for a couple of days to let my traumatised nips recover and suddenly could feed without sobbing, sweating and curling my toes in agony at the same time. Let down was horribly sore too, for a few weeks. It used to make me feel really, properly sick it was so intense. In the end I fed her for 8 months and it was fine. But why do they tell you that it shouldn't hurt if you're doing it right? I was apparently 'perfectly' latched in various positions and was in absolute agony. And felt guilty because I couldn't possibly have been doing it 'right'. God knows (in retrospect) why on earth I continued. Must be my stubborn nature.
DD2 - tongue tied and therefore also a nightmare. Ended up mix feeding due to that and reflux (double nightmare).
Am now pg again and not even sure I'm going to try BF with number 3 - can't face the nights of agonised feeding and crying (me) and frustrated screaming (the baby). Surely mother nature made a bit of a cock up when she designed the process? (or at least she did with me - my nipples are obviously not rhinocerous-hide-like enough).

[KiwiPanda]

MrsMopple interesting what you said about scbu folk being more helpful - i found exactly the same. DD was there for a week and it was one of the lovely nurses there who finally got her latched on and feeding after 5 days - with a great deal of patience, gentleness and kindness (as opposed to nazis on the postnatal ward who appeared to think that wrestling her jaws around my boob was the best way to encourage her to feed..) Hooray for them. The scbu nurses, that is. Not the nazis.

[charmargot]

Lucky for me I had a mate who had terrible painful time breast feeding so I was well prepared for it killing me, BUT I got lucky! No pain from the first latch on all icky and new born. Can definitely feel it happening though - if I sit here and pinch my nipples through all my clothes it's like that - except when it's a baby sucking away you can feel it deep down too as womb contracts especially in first week. I remember feeling like me and the baby were definitely still joined.
I took a lot of time getting the right latch each time and I think having big nipples helps. I always sat very upright with many cushions at back and baby rested on 2 maternity pillows to give me hands free to eat/type/run a business etc! I also am a bit prudey so wore a vest to cover my tummy, put boob over top of vest and had another looser top to cover boob and baby's head - stare as much as you like you'd never see my boobs!
After 2 weeks of perfect feeding I got thrush and that hurt like hell, luckily I'd experienced good feeding though and a mate had thrush so could diagnose and get treatment knowing that all would be well after a couple of weeks.
I'm not writing this to be smug, just to say that it is true, for some people it really doesn't hurt, that's why they say it in all the classes.
My mate who had shitty time for 7 weeks did feed her son for at least 18 months with no pain, so pain can go.
You can do it Kitty!!

[charmargot]

oops, just realised Kitty was on page one and prob not reading anymore - ah well!

[pispirispis]

OMG it's soo good to be reading this, but so horrible as well. Good because the same thing happened to me - fell hook line and sinker for the "oh it'll be so painless and easy if you do it right" line and when it was agony I got my latch checked loads of times in the hospital and was told it was fine. After only a few days my nipples cracked and it was such agony, lo didn't like the nipple shields so I ended up expressing. No lansinoh in Spain. So demoralising to think I was doing it wrong, no HVs or anyone to visit you here, and I didn't think talking to La Leche over the phone would be much good. Dp had to go back to work after a week and I found it impossible to express every 3 hours and look after lo on my own. Plus we have no car to go to a bf group or anything. Plus every time I spoke to my mum she made it clear she thought I was insane (I was ff and I don't think my mum has even met someone who has bf'd)After big squirts of blood shot into the breast pump I decided I'd had enough. After only 10 days and that's why I feel horrible because sooo many of you here went through worse for much longer

On the plus side, lo is big, bouncy and strong, I now know a lovely bf group very near me, so next time I'm going to buy tonnes of lansinoh over the internet and grit my teeth!! God it's been so cathartic writing this!

[notcitrus]

It would have been really useful before birth to have had an idea of the difference between 'normal' pain, bad latch pain, and mastitis or thrush pain. Before A was born I kept being told feeding shouldn't hurt if your latch is OK, so I trotted to bfcs and got latch improved.

Then I got told my pain was normal - only when I decided I would have to give up bf did people check me and A, conclude I had both mastitis and thrush and later that both of us had thrush, and that pain between feeds is probably not normal or a bad latch. And that pain on feeding that persists beyond the count of 10 probably is a bad latch and to take baby off and start again. And that the word 'probably' needs to be used a lot more!

The best support I got emotionally was from SIL2 who admired the effort I was putting in to seek help (a full time job!), as she put it "I just stuck my breast in his mouth and it worked", and I clearly wasn't such a simple case!

Now I get latch-on pain on the left, and it often hurts as A will sneakily slide about, so I take him off. On the right, it's all lovely - no pain at all, just gentle slurping on the breast. Because his gums are round the breast not nipple it doesn't feel at all like sexual touch - and because I look down and he's a baby!

[Frangipani74]

With first baby it was 3 months before it stopped being uncomfortable and with babies 2 and 3 just a month. But I'm sure I was doing it right, I just have more sensitive skin than some. And for first two weeks the let down felt like someone scouring nipples with a wire brush - ouch. Breastfeeding info should definitely include some more honest information.

[AnybodyHomeMcFly]

I was so frustrated at the "if you're doing it right it doesn't hurt" thing. That wasn't my experience at all, it hurt like hell for 17 weeks and gradually became easier. Stopped hurting in the end and I bfed DS until he was 20 mo but there was a lot of grinning and bearing at the start.

[ninja]

For me let down at first was like my boob being in a vice and like Rhubabrb I had a strong and fast let down that would often leave my poor baby drowning! (and me too if she came off!).

Saying that I never minded that very intense let down as it was like a strong feeling associated with my newborn.

I was lucky with nipples though - I just seemed to have a baby who knew what to do (until I got thrush first time round, that's another story...)

[frazzledoldbag]

ok, so this IS a silly question probably. Considering I have b/fed 2 children and am pg with no3.
But here goes:
How do you know when your baby has his mouth open wide enough? And how do you MAKE them open wider. And what happens if they just have a small mouth (and you have BIG NIPPLES). Is this why is is sore for some (me? and others above?) Is it less likely to be sore if you have small nipples and a baby with a large mouth? - my thinking being its then easier to get breast tissue and not just nipple in their mouth? Therefore nipple will go to back of their mouth and not get chafed on the roof of their mouth?

Sorry if this sounds daft. I just wonder about these things - in the dead of night when I'm lying there dreading the first few weeks of breasfeeding again (IF I decide to give it another go).

[Slickbird]

Yes. Agony. DD2 was taking in mouthfuls of milky blood to prove it. Same hell with the first one. Guilt made me persevere and it did eventually get better.

Am determined to get off to a better start this time.

I do know of a couple of people who had no pain whatsover, so I don't know if they just got it right from the beginning or if it's just easier for some.

Re: Big nipples, that shouldn't really make a difference - I definitely COULD feel when the baby had a proper mouthfull. One of the best tips I got last time (but not on day one) was to push the far side of your nipple as your aim it to the top lip of the baby as that really helps them get the right angle.

[purplejennyrose]

frazzled - i had the big nips, small mouth thing with both my DDs. Very painful.

When they latch on, ideally you shouldn't be able to see aereola (brownish area around nipple) particularly below the nipple ie below their bottom lip - hope that makes sense.

Initially I was told that if they hadn't opened their mouth wide enough and it hurt and I could see aereola below their mouth, I should take them off and try again - but, with a hungry newborn that often just really upset them, they would scream and the latching on would get worse and worse! So I used to reach down when they latched on and just very gently 'adjust' their mouths - I remember gently pulling their chin down so the mouth opened wider around the nipple and let more breast in. I think I did it most feeds at the beginning TBH.

Hope I've described that so it makes sense - need to draw a picture really!

[frazzledoldbag]

Thanks, that's what I thought. And I did used to take her off and re-latch but doing that repeatedly was a nightmare as she would cry hysterically then refuse to go on at all. There is no way I could get even 2/3 of my brown areola into her mouth, she couldn't open wide enough - in fact I doubt my DH could get that much in if he tried - my nips get huge!
Thanks for the info though. I'm just hoping for a baby with a gigantic mouth this time! (and no tongue tie would be a bonus too).

[jenster1976]

Had similar problem, huge boobs and nipples and tiny baby. Spent days (felt like weeks) stressing that that we didn't look like the pictures and that I must be doing it wrong and kept taking dd off and upsetting her to try and get it to "look" right. Eventually my midwife told me I was being daft , we were never going to be a poster campaign for the NCT and if its working for you don't worry about the "correct" method. We did fine for 8 months - however still hurt like buggery for first few weeks at latching on stage - i do remember thinking at one point it was worse than labour, it was only that the steriliser unit we had seemed so complicated to my foggy brain that I perservered. After that though it was easy and natural - just hope to be able to do the same this time!

[MamacitaGordita]

KiwiPanda fancy bumping into you on a 'painful bf' thread!! lol

Hope things are ok with you now!

(hijak over!)

[mersmam]

I have three children (currently pg with number 4). With dd1 I had no pain at all breastfeeding - but she fed very slowly, often for an hour at a time. With dd2 I had horrible afterpains while breastfeeding for the first few days but then no pain at all. However with my third, DS1, I found the letdown reflex pain absolutely excruciating for the first three or four weeks - it literally felt like I was being stabbed with knives every time I fed him!
He was my biggest baby and definitely had the 'strongest suck' of the three (he was only feeding for 10 minutes or so at a time every four hours or so after the first month). So, in my experience, if it hurts a lot at first it might mean that your baby is actually extremely good at breastfeeding and taking more milk more quickly than your body is ready for!
I'll have to see what happens with dc4 though...

[EachPeachPearMum]

Hi Spink- sorry you're having pain- not managed to catch up on post natal thread properly yet.
With DD I had no pain- she was fab, fed her for 17 mo, but I know we were lucky.
DS is a different matter- and reading what mersmam says- maybe size is an issue- he is the same size she was at 6 weeks!
He has such a strong suck! I t does hurt, and he has latch issues- bf counsellor says he has tongue-tie, so we are getting that sorted.
All I can say is every baby is different, so I'm certain some are just better (or softer!) at feeding, and others are rougher, or need to hone their technique.
Hope it improves for you though.

[ellideb]

Most of the time it doesn't hurt anymore but I have had months of thrush which has made it excuciating and certainly not text book symptoms either.

Let-down for me happens about a minute into the feed and feels like a squeezy pain, a bit prickly too like pins and needles and not unpleasent. The fuller my breasts the less I feel it.

The first few weeks after the initial latch is toe curlingly sore but eases off during the feed and dissapears completely after about 3-4 weeks IIRC.

[fridascruffs]

my midwife described it as 'nipple caught in the doorlatch' and that's exactly what it was like for the first weeks. I discovered nipple protectors, silicon things you can buy in Boots for a couple of quid, they really relieved the pain and after the first few weeks it was not painful at all till they started biting at 13/15 months. Let-down itself never hurt for me. Perhaps some babies suck harder than others.