Why does everyone tell you breastfeeding doesn't hurt?

[mummyclare]

I am baffled by the unrealistic advise given to pregnant women about breastfeeding by the NCT/midwives/BFCs like -

If it hurts you are doing it wrong.
Every women produces enough milk at the beginning to feed twins.
99% of women can successfully breastfeed.

I understand their role is to encourage women to do it but surely being honest about the difficulties of starting that many women encounter would be more helpful. Mothers who then have difficulty are left feeling they've failed when they are trying to pick up the pieces. Likewise problems may not get as bad if we were honest to women about it.

e.g. First few feeds with my first I kept detaching her because it was hurting and I thought she wasn't latched on correctly.

[TinkerBellesMum]

I know PT, I had two natural labours and am told I sounded like I'd stubbed my toe (ow ow ow, bit like Phoebe's earlier contraction in Friends lol) and I had a time when I couldn't put my bum on the seat when she was latched I was tensing so much and would be punching the arm of the chair so I didn't shout. But I don't believe everyone who says it hurts is in as much pain as that, it's not normal to be screaming in pain like that - I had an infection.

The problem is support though, I've just spoken to someone on SANDS who was told to give up by her GP when she had mastitis. People are brought up to listen to their doctors and nurses not question them so when a doctor tells someone to give up and offers them a pill they do because it wouldn't occur to them that someone who hasn't been through years of medical school could know better than their GP. "Fortunately" for me I've got a condition that I need to know more than my GP about so it's in my nature now to question what I'm told by a HCP.

[PInkyminkyohnooo]

Period pains for some are absolute agony- my poor sis has to virtually knock herself unconscious with painkillers once a month they are so bad and she's having to have a hysterectomy to get her life back.

Not sure all this talk of pain thresholds is very useful.

Some people's nipples may well just be more sensitive than others.

I've had major surgery, mennorraghia, severe migrianes, a back to back labour, all manner of things but I'll still jump out of bed yelling if I get a bad cramp in my leg! The pain when bfeeding I had lasted about two weeks and if gritted my teeth and carried on chatting to whoever was there I could distract myself enough tokeep going. And that was with both babies.

[HaventSleptForAYear]

I wish I had known that it DOES hurt to bf.

After DS1 was born, I kept quite happily putting him to my breast, he kind of mouthed it for a bit, and I thought that was a feed .

He was sleepy from a long birth with epidural so not that interested anyway (still not interested in food lol!).

3 days later he (understandably) starting making himself heard.

Luckily an African friend of mine came, said, "isn't he hungry?" and helped me latch him on.

Cue toe-curling, fist-clenching etc.

I took a paracetemol before each feed (also for the after-pains which accompanied each bf).

Was still sore after 6 weeks so I got the latch corrected a bit and fed him for a year.

With DS2 I knew what to expect, didn't get cracked nipples cos I was equipped with lansinoh, but I certainly could FEEL it when he latched on.

[pudding25]

I am reading this thread and thinking how lucky I have been. DD is 4mths. I was never going to BF, didnt fancy it . Decided a couple of wks before she was born to 'give it a go' for a wk.

Told my midwives to feed every 3hrs for about 20 mins. Also, DD had a tongue tie (which we got sorted).
So, I was really a prime candidate for ff and BF failure.

4mths on, still BF (although do give a couple of bottles of formula to get a break as can't express) and have no plans to stop.

Have loads of milk, DD happy from the beginning to only feed every 3 hrs most of the time, not much pain (just got some cabbage leaves which sorted it out) and tongue tie did not really affect BF and then she got it cut.

Don't want to sound like I am boasting but just that I must be in the minority.

There just needs to be more good BF support available from day 1.

[whomovedmychocolate]

Actually even when you are very good at feeding it can hurt - my boobs hurt during let down when I was pregnant and still feeding DD and when tandem feeding two kids, one with a stronger suckle than the other, that hurts too but don't ask me why. If breastfeeding counsellors had to specify every situation where discomfort might be experienced then it'd be a very long meeting!

For me, for the first six weeks, let down was particularly painful and for the first four days my latch wasn't great (but I refused to acknowledge this fact) and it did hurt. Then someone helped me and since then, by and large for the past two years, very little pain indeed (except for trapping my nips in the laptop when feeding, reading mumsnet and trying to shop DH shoulder surfing the bumsex threads!)

[EachPeachPearMum]

Maybe I was lucky, maybe I have extremely unsensitive nipples, but it didn't hurt at all for me. Let down felt odd, occasionally uncomfortable, but never painful.
I saw new mothers feeding through bleeding nipples and the like, so I know there are lots of people who do have problems but it is like anything else- some will find it easy some will find it difficult.
I think what needs to be stressed is the fact that as long as your baby is fed, however you do it, what works for you is right.
I am a complete wuss about pain btw, so I think I must just have no nerves in my breasts or something!

[bumblingalong]

was expecting it to hurt but was in agony for the first wk but was told by 4 different health visitors & countless midwives in hospital that i was doing it right & by the book. Was about to give up due to extremely bad cracked nipples & bleeding when a new hv said to try a different way & throw the book out- so uncurled my toes & tried 1 last time..... was so much better & i could carry on!
The general one position fits all approach needs to be looked at as several friends have given up because they couldn't get their babies to latch on "right".