Why does everyone tell you breastfeeding doesn't hurt?

[mummyclare]

I am baffled by the unrealistic advise given to pregnant women about breastfeeding by the NCT/midwives/BFCs like -

If it hurts you are doing it wrong.
Every women produces enough milk at the beginning to feed twins.
99% of women can successfully breastfeed.

I understand their role is to encourage women to do it but surely being honest about the difficulties of starting that many women encounter would be more helpful. Mothers who then have difficulty are left feeling they've failed when they are trying to pick up the pieces. Likewise problems may not get as bad if we were honest to women about it.

e.g. First few feeds with my first I kept detaching her because it was hurting and I thought she wasn't latched on correctly.

[mummyclare]

"the vast majority of difficulties encountered can be relieved." - except perhaps some degree of pain during early feeds for most women?

[mummyclare]

wow pinktulips is that really true?

[LackaDAISYcal]

mummyclare; I'm also sorry to hear of your difficulties and assume I'm the one you are targetting your "trotting out demand and supply" comment at.

My comment that mentioned demand and supply was in response to the statement you mentioned that that women have enough milk in the early days to feed twins. I assumed you meant all women; not just those that had actually had twins. I don't think I could have fed twins as I didn't give birth to twins was all I meant. Obviously for some women, like yourself, there are definate supply and demand issues, but in most cases these are fixable with the appropriate help and support. I'm sorry if you feel that you didn't get that help and support, or that it didn't solve your feeding issues

[tiktok]

mummyclare, I don't know if 'most' women experience soreness during early feeds, and without the research, I'd rather not guess! Certainly it's not uncommon. I would prefer women not to accept it as 'normal' and to discuss it with someone, rather than just hope it went away.

I think the incidence of breastfeeding initiation in all the Scandi countries is in the upper 90 per cents - and while they don't all continue exclusively for 6 mths, the majority do for most of that time.

[OrmIrian]

tiktok - I did say a 'week or so'. IME about 3 weeks as it happens. And perhaps the percentage will be lower. But the principle remains. Anecdotal I know, but with most women know who bf at all, there was reasonably significant pain at the start of a breast feed that went away without intervention apart from lanisol/cabbage leave/camomile whatever.

[PinkTulips]

yep, ff is contra-indicated medically and has to be gotton on prescription. they also have great postnatal care and support. they have a 99% success rate with bf

i'm not saying you weren't on of that 1%, somebody has to be to make those statistics, i'm just saying it is possible to have such a high bf rate

[MadameCastafiore]

Toe Curling was the only way to describe that utter pain when they forst latch on for at least the first month - then it is lovely - you just have to get your nipples toughened up - maybe shut them in the door a few times or use jump lead clips on them for a few days!

[tiktok]

OrmIrian, you proposed a formal statement of advice for all women, based on anecdotal experience. I say that's not good enough! Soreness at the start of breastfeeding is common, but it always needs investigation, not reassurance that it will go in 'a week or so'.

[OrmIrian]

It was slightly tongue in cheek. But I agree, ideally it shouldn't hurt.

[mummyclare]

Lackadiasycal - I wasn't meaning you at all! I was referring to advice I received at the time which is all the advice you ever get because it is essentially all we understand about breastfeeding - demand/ supply.

I was honestly told every women produced enough for twins at the beginning!

Have looked up UNICEF figures and stand corrected on scandinavian rates. What do they know that we don't? Or do they keep mums in hospital postnatally longer to learn?

[crokky]

Some babies are easier to feed than others as well.

My DS was really difficult - very weak latch, would often need 45 mins-1 hour to actually get latched. Needed to feed all through day and night for months and months.

DD on the other hand had a latch like a viper! When she was born, I braced myself for a struggle to feed her and I put her in the feeding position, took a deep breath - and whilst I was taking this deep breath she quickly latched herself and fed quickly and hungrily (and painlessly). However, when a boob is emptied, she will go beserk! She will peck at it over and over screaming til more milk comes. DS would happily suck an empty boob for ages so babies can be very very different.

[tiktok]

PinkTulips, I think you are wrong about Sweden. I have not heard that formula is only available on prescription, and while a huge no. of women do initiate breastfeeding as you say, as I said, not all of them continue exclusively to 6 mths.

They do have good postnatal care and support, but more importantly (in my opinion) Sweden, Norway and Denmark were never really formula feeding societies. There was a large increase in the use of formula in the 70s, but by and large, babies were still breastfed at birth and for the first weeks. So culturally, they never reached the point we did in the UK, when it became odd in certain quarters to breastfeed at all.

[StealthPolarBear]

"I was honestly told every women produced enough for twins at the beginning!"
I read that too, on here I think, that in the early days until supply and demand has evened out your body produces enough for about 2 babies. Anyone know if that's true?

[mummyclare]

sorry pinktulip - just read your answer. ff on prescription. I basically hd it prescribed as I was so reluctant to use it- so I guess I'm the 1%. Although actually it's closer to 90% than 99%. Meaning about 8% are having it prescribed -nearly 1 in 10 women. That's still more women having troubles than you'd be lead to believe would be the case.

[tiktok]

mummyclare, the evidence we do have about women's capacities for making milk is indeed that most of us could probably feed twins....

[mummyclare]

crokky that's a really good point. I think babies should get more of the blame (seriously). Some babies make it harder and women shouldn'e be left feeling it's all their fault if it's going wrong.

[LackaDAISYcal]

no worries

I think the rates are good in Sweden because they have very good support in place to help women as well as longer periods of maternity leave. I also think they made a conscious decision years ago to improve Bfing rates, and that it has taken them a lot of hard work to get to this equilibrium.

Of course they pay much more in tax and NI (or their equivalent) so they have the funding in place to train the appropriate numbers of healthcare workers.

I gave up feeding my DS at 6 weeks due to what I now know was vasospasm/reynauld's syndrome and in all liklihood there was a tongue tie issue as well as DS has a pronounced lisp.....not one health professional spotted it, nor did they suggest I try one of the support organisations (who I'd never even heard of). Knowing all I do now, I feel quite disappointed about it.

[mummyclare]

If it's true about making so much milk why do so many women struggle with supply to start with? Were they perhaps measuring an odd population?

[LackaDAISYcal]

I hadn't heard that about being able to feed two babies tiktok.

It sounds that the way it was said to mummyclare when she was struggling to feed her one baby was pretty insensitive though.

[tiktok]

It's certainly true that 'not enough milk' is a common reason for stopping breastfeeding, and it's a factor in probably a third of the calls we get to NCT.

There are lots of reasons why women may feel they don't have enough milk - often, it is perception only (that is, they do have enough milk, but think they don't, perhaps because of unrealistic expectations). Or their babies are not very effective feeders and don't stim. a good supply, and no one spots this early enough to turn it round. Or they introduce formula and the supply is then reduced as a result. Or the baby was not kept close and fed ad lib in the early days.....many, many reasons.

[Talia1]

The BF class i went to was the biggest waste of time ever (and i've moaned about it lots since). We had an hour of 'bf is great' and nothing about any potential problems whatsoever. When i asked whether it hurt both the HV and the midwife chorused together "only if you're doing it wrong".

LO now 4 weeks in and things are starting work properly but it would have made the nights much easier if i'd been more aware of the 'normal' experience - it was friends and Mumsnet that kept me going!

[mummyclare]

Could the last one at least be corrected by being more realistic with preganat mums. i.e. tell them to expect to spend the first week in bed with baby and to limit guests. Instead of the 3 hourly nonsense we get told to expect.

[spicemonster]

I have got an NCT book (admittedly quite old) in which it categorically states that it shouldn't hurt if you're doing it right. Luckily I was surrounded by friends and family who told me otherwise

[PInkyminkyohnooo]

FWIW I was told a lot of rubbish when trying to bfeed my DS in hospital.
Told it shouldn't hurt if yuo are doing it right, that he was feeding too much, that he needed a top up of formula (which I declined), and a number of mw actually pushed the back of his head to latch him on, which unpset him greatly.

I doubt the ladies of the LL League or NCT bfeeding counseelloers would od any of this, but it does happen in hospital. And DS is only 3 so I'm not talking ancient history heree.