Breastfeeding just won't work

[SisterA]

I'm so sorry this is an essay but just wondered if anyone had any similar experiences.

My baby will be 4 weeks old on Monday. I have been trying, relentlessly, to breastfeed. It's something I have always wanted to do and we just can't get it to work. My baby is doing very well. She is gaining weight exceptionally well. Despite being 9.5% down when we left hospital on day 3, she was well past her birth weight by the time she was 2 weeks old. So from that aspect things are good and it's encouraging. But I have struggled from the outset.

I've reached out for help from every avenue possible and at 3 days she had a tongue tie snipped. We have been to breastfeeding groups (though only once before they all closed for the holidays). We've seen a chiropractor who thought that she had some alignment issues after a forceps delivery and I've not been afraid to call for breastfeeding support from health visitors/midwives and make sure that I don't get to a point of despair. I don't yet dread breastfeeding but I've had some pretty low points. The tongue tie was horrible, then I had severely cracked nipples which are almost healing but physically feeding is still so painful I can't tell if the latch is good or if the pain is due to the crack? Some health visitors thought I maybe had thrush but the doctor wasn't convinced so I'm currently trying to feed through the pain.

Along with the above I feel like she latches better on one side that she does the other and won't stay on longer than maybe 5-10 minutes before fighting at my boob and taking herself off. By this point she's too sleepy to go back on/for me to put her in the other side. But not sleepy enough to settle to go to sleep. I feel like my supply is excellent - I can always hand express after a feed or pumping session no matter how long we go for but I'm still plagued by blocked ducts which I think are worse than the pain of feeding.

I just feel like I'm at a loss and I was so determined to make use of every resource yet it still just isn't the joyous experience I was hoping for. 4 weeks and my nipple still hasn't fully healed and I still feel like my baby isn't really satisfied after a feed and I live in fear for the next weigh in because maybe things have stopped working.

Does anyone have any words wisdom? Any tips? I watched endless videos and can't see where we go wrong and neither can all these health professionals. Sometimes I think a feed is going well and it's not overly painful but my nipple comes out so misshapen and I desperately don't want to damage them so much again that I can't feed as we already dropped to one side for an entire week.

SOS!

[BertieBotts]

Yes you can build supply back up. You do want to express enough you're not getting bunged up on that side though, as mastitis is the last thing you want now.

You're seeing improvement which is really really great and there's no reason it won't continue to get better. Doing any feeding on that side is good, I wouldn't worry about equalising time spent on both.

La Leche League three tips when you can't bear to feed:

Keep the baby close
Keep the baby fed
Keep the milk flowing.

All should work out in time especially with good support.

[BertieBotts]

If you're right handed it suits to have a better supply on the left than the right anyway - I can do things with my right hand when I'm feeding! I tend to feed more off the left in the day and more off the right at night.

[FiresideTreats]

Yes to what Bertie said! It's much easier having your right hand free by feeding on the left side if you're right-handed!

5-10 mins sounds great - especially if she is sucking the whole time. You will have good days and bad, then one day you'll aim her in the general direction of your boob and she will latch yourself before you even notice!

As Bertie said, I would continue to pump/express to avoid blocked ducts or worse. Have you tried a haakaa suction pump? I used to get about 2oz from the 'bad' side while feeding from the good - you don't need to do anything, it just gently uses the vacuum to help draw the milk at letdown. It was easier and faster for me than hand expressing.

[FiresideTreats]

Latch herself, obviously!

[SnuggyBuggy]

I'm glad things seem to be better OP. Getting a haakaa for the "bad" boob sounds like a good idea.

I thought I was the only one who had a preferred day and night boob.

[SisterA]

I've tried the haaka but struggle getting it on and her at the same time without feeling pretty clumsy. I just feel like I'm running out because I haven't been feeding enough. But. Will keep doing my best until either she isn't thriving or the well runs dry! Blocked ducts definitely less regular and boobs generally always soft though definitely still milk there.

Still in the running and appreciate all the advice and support from this thread!

[SisterA]

Just wanted to provide an update. Not that I know if anyone wants one but wanted to say thanks to everyone who has provided advice and support. It's not a full update but it's something. We saw yet another lactation consultant today. She really listened to me and, for the first time since hospital, someone actually put their hands in her mouth, and is confident there is still a tongue tie restriction there.

Having it cut may not make a difference but I feel relieved for there to still be a tangible reason for pain. We aren't doing anything wrong and there is still so much hope for us yet! Weight gain still excellent and we can be seen privately in a little over a week so continuing to persevere until then, and reassess then. I'm all sorts of emotional!

[BertieBotts]

Thank you for the update! It sounds like that lactation consultant knows her stuff. Fingers crossed the tongue tie division will help. Are you getting any less pain with feeding now?

[SisterA]

Hi @BertieBotts. Pain still exists but I think I'm getting more used to it. I'm just ways so worried about further cracks to my nipples and feel terrible when I have to unlatch as I adore the look of satisfaction post feed. But I can't always let that happen. But yes, here's hoping things keep progressing! I'm not feeling so down in the dumps anymore :)

[MummEE2]

Do you put on nipple cream for nipples? I found it helped me immensely through the early weeks of BF. I was literally putting cream on them all the time Day and night. By week 8 it got easier for me