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Infant feeding

Please tell me it gets better

29 replies

Chardeemacdennis1 · 18/12/2018 17:04

DD is 4 days old.

She latched really well in the hospital so I was given no advice or assistance with Bf.

Now we're home and I'm finding it really hard. On the right side I find it really uncomfortable, like she sucking too hard it's a tugging pinching feeling. Not relaxing or nice at all. On the left the sucking feels fine and quite relaxing but the boob is hard as sore. I've tried massaging out and expressing but it just goes hard again on the next feed.

I feel like the latch must be wrong but I can't see how. She sucking and pausing, she taking lots in her mouth it all looks fine but it's just not a nice experience for me at all.

At the moment I feel like I can't keep this going much longer. I'm sore and tired and dread feeding her.

Please tell me its normal for it to be difficult at the start and things will get better.

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Chardeemacdennis1 · 20/12/2018 11:52

It's like an obstival course. I get one thing sorted and then a new problem arises.

We got latch sorted and it stopped hurting just a bit uncomfortable. Then my milk came in! My boobs are now so full she can't actually get a good mouthful. I seem to have sorted that by pinching my boob for her, but she's now not keen on the left side.

Oh and my god, the weight of these boobs. Not comftable when they fill up. This morning I was desperate for her to wake up and empty them.

Tried out a few cushions. The breastfeeding cushion was working well but now she seems too close so I'm just using a normal pillow. Started feeding her in a office chair with a foot stool which has also really helped.

It's definitely a roller coaster. Not like bottle feeding at all.

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cupoftea84 · 20/12/2018 09:02

It gets better.

The midwife and health visitor should be able to check the latch etc. They can also suggest different holds/ positions.

I found it hard because I can't always see what latch baby has so my DH was told what to check by a midwife and so if latch is an issue I can ask him to help. If you dont have someone maybe use a mirror?

Also have you got a good breastfeeding cushion? So useful.

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cr1479 · 20/12/2018 08:49

Also, I know lots of people will tell you not to do this. But I started to introduce a bottle in the evening at about 2 weeks. This really helped me get some sleep & helped my nipples recover.
She's never shown nipple confusion and as of now it hasn't affected my supply.
I know this may not be what you want to do, but it has really helped me cope.

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cr1479 · 20/12/2018 08:46

I had so so many issues with breastfeeding for the first 3/4 weeks.
I think I was a bit blind to it all & it was a massive shock to the system when I realised how difficult breastfeeding would be.
I hated it if I'm honest and would say that I was going to stop pretty much every day.
I found it really painful. For me, it wasn't anything to do with her latch, it was just that my nipples had to get used to it. She's now nearly 7 weeks and it's much easier.
It is never painful at all.
I still don't love it as she is feeding very often, but it's much much better now that I'm pain free.
She does have a preference for my left boob. I've always struggled with my right & have to feed her in the "rugby ball" way for that side.
It will get easier so hang in there! But just do what works best for you & your baby.
Ps- the very frequent feeds are normal (or so I'm told) my DD is exactly the same.

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Chardeemacdennis1 · 20/12/2018 04:59

Slightly better tonight so far. It's definitely less uncomfortable. She's also sleeping between feeds so I'm sleeping. But my boobs are now massive and she struggling to latch because they're so big. Having to pinch the boob to help her.

I did not expect Bf to be this complicated and difficult! I'm sticking with it though I know it'll be worth it in the end.

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BeautifulPossibilities · 19/12/2018 20:30

All sounds normal.

Get through one feed then the next. Try her with your partner to settle so she can't smell milk. A sling is good for that. Look for early feeding cues.

Remember she is learning, you are learning and that you are built to so this.

I honestly could have packed it in for the first weeks. Horrible but I'm so glad I didn't. Fed until about 3.5.

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Chardeemacdennis1 · 19/12/2018 19:42

She did her first (giant) poo. She's fed and sleeping now. We think she just ate too much and got runny ache. She seems OK now. Fingers crossed we have a better night tonight.

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SnuggyBuggy · 19/12/2018 18:03

Also sometimes tiny babies struggle to latch when mums breasts are hard and engorged. I used to have to hand express in the early hours just to soften them enough to get baby DD to latch.

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MutantDisco · 19/12/2018 17:23

Tiny babies feed CONSTANTLY. Their stomachs are small so they need a feed as soon as they've had one, plus she's trying to boost your supply.

DS1 spent 24 hours solidly on the boob on Christmas Xmas Grin

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Chardeemacdennis1 · 19/12/2018 14:26

The constant feeding was fine I was expecting it. It was when she kept crying but refusing to eat. Then refusing to sleep.

She calmed down now and taken a feed. We think maybe she gorged herself getting the milk to come in and then got tummy ache.

I did express some as my boobs went really hard when she was refusing to eat.

I'll bare that in mind with the hind milk thing. I had been feeding 10 - 20 mins a side so maybe on some feeds the milk wasn't satisfying.

Shes calm now but still not really sleeping. Don't know why she's not exhausted, I am.

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Tinty · 19/12/2018 13:07

How long is she on the boob before she drops off and do you keep swapping sides? My MW told me if baby only fed for 5 mins then came off to feed on the same side again so she would get hind milk. It was explained to me that the first 5 - 10 mins is fore milk (like a drink) after that it is hind milk (so more like food). So I would feed left side then left side again if she wanted feeding within 30 mins. Then the next time feed right side then right side again.

And as PP said she is cluster feeding to build up your supply. Can you express. It sounds a bit odd but I would sometimes try to express on the opposite breast whilst DD was feeding to try and up my milk production and also so I had some expressed milk to freeze. I did only get about 20 mls a time for the first few weeks.

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SnuggyBuggy · 19/12/2018 12:59

I ended up side lying feeding and co sleeping with DD and should have started sooner. I couldn't recommend it enough.

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Strugglingonagain · 19/12/2018 12:33

Cluster feeding, very normal. It's a killer but will settle, honestly. A lot of people co-sleep or feed lying down, I can't get to grips with either personally. I hope the nights settle down a bit for you x

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Chardeemacdennis1 · 19/12/2018 12:27

Feeding was going much better last night. No pain on the left and only a little discomfort on the right.

Only she wouldn't stop feeding. She was doze off on the boob, I'd put her back in bed then she would either sleep for only 30 mins before cried for food again or she didn't sleep at all. This went on from 1am until 5am. She then started fussing and crying. Now she won't sleep, won't eat won't settle, just cries unless she has a dummy.

I'm at a loss of what to do. Midwife is round later so hopefully she can help.

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Chardeemacdennis1 · 18/12/2018 20:47

I'll give rugby ball a go. I've started using a cushion which is helping and towards the end of the feed her sucking is getting less violent which helps.

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laurG · 18/12/2018 20:45

It will get better but op if you really dont enjoy it or it’s too much remember formula is fine too. I totally encourage you to keep trying if YOU want to but don’t if you find it doesn’t ease up x

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Four4me · 18/12/2018 20:43

Try feeding from the right with the rugby ball hold, so she is laid in the same direction as when she feeds from the left. This is how one of my babies fed in the early days when one side was a struggle.

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Hermie12 · 18/12/2018 20:35

It was really painful and sore for me for the first 6 weeks but so glad I kept going. I def had more probs feeding from the right I ended up using a different hold for that side and found it much easier so worth experimenting with this

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MutantDisco · 18/12/2018 20:31

Sounds like you're getting it right. It gets gradually less painful as their mouths get bigger.

Www.kellymom.com is an excellent website; if you want a book then The Food of Love is brilliant.

Keep going OP, you're doing so well Thanks

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SnuggyBuggy · 18/12/2018 20:29

It gets better. If nothing else your baby will get bigger and more efficient at extracting milk.

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Bigonesmallone3 · 18/12/2018 20:26

Stay strong OP

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Littlebelina · 18/12/2018 20:24

Hard boob is probably your milk coming in. It should settle in a day or so. It hurts though and I had forgotten how much!

The sucking does get better. I'm sure my latch was fine for both the children I've breastfed but it still was unpleasant to start with and I used nipple shields both times for a week. Dd is now 9 weeks and feeding is much easier and I'm glad I stuck with it. Can't get her to take a bottle thoughConfused

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Ottermum23 · 18/12/2018 20:23

It will get better,promise!

However, both of my girls were only fed from left boob, god knows why, but I remember having one much bigger all the time, for months.😂
The difficulty feeding will pass, and honestly it really worth it. Don't give up!

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Chardeemacdennis1 · 18/12/2018 20:19

Hv is coming 24th

I think i do need more instructions because I have watched videos and read tutorials online but I'm not seeing what we're doing wrong. It's only the right boob too. Left feels fine when feeding.

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snuggledonthesofa · 18/12/2018 19:45

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