Can i breastfeed now

[Tattybogle89]

Just given birth. Traumatic and very emotional. Wishing I had tried to breastfeed.
Have bottle fed a few days. Milks not in but coming.i don’t know if I can
I have fibrocystic breasts. So sore hard and lumpy before pregnancy anyway.

I’m on blood thinning jags to stop blood clots after delivery.
And tramadol
Ibuprofen
Paracetamol
Antibiotics
Laxatives

Probably not safe to try now with that in my system. I won’t ask midwives because I feel stupid but if anyone can advise
☹️

[1stTimeRounder]

@tattybogle89 it's really normal to feel that way. I was the same after I had my baby and relived various parts of it for a few weeks.

That's does sound like there were a few things that could have been handled better, especially the pressure sores. So when you do a birth debrief you can raise such concerns. We had concerns about the Anaestatist which we were able to raise to senior consultants, and hopefully will be addressed for future women.

Remember you're also sleep deprived, hormonal and dealing with a new addition so there's a lot going on now so just be gentle on yourself.

[Tattybogle89]

HI thank you for reply keep checking if anyone wants to chat.
Think I’ve knocked breastfeeding idea on head. Just too much else in my head and it seems such hard work also baby tongue tied so they said it would be hard trying to start him suddenly on breast.

I’m not sure what counts as a flashback but silly things like pulling baby’s head through vest reminds me of delivery and makes me cry. Just get hit by a wave of emotion and start racing thoughts about it all.
Midwife said I can request notes and she can go through them with me. She told me I haemorrhaged which I didn’t know.
She wasn’t happy i have scab bruising on my bum that’s a mess and sore and happened in theatre and was blamed on pressure sore but she said I shouldn’t have got that and that makes me angry too. Sore to sleep on when I do get the chance.

No I didn’t have any pain relief so felt the whole 4th degree tear happen in slow motion ☹️

[1stTimeRounder]

You are not a nutcase and you are just processing a traumatic experience. It's normal to go through flashbacks when you've been through trauma and shock.

I strongly recommend the birth debrief, but wait for a while. I had one when baby was about 10wks old. I was in a better place to talk through my notes and it helped massively with dealing with my own traumatic delivery. But you need to be in the right frame of mind to do it.

Also if you are still having flashback and nightmares after a while then you should definitely seek counselling as this is a sign of post traumatic stress disorder (ptsd).

Finally on the breastfeeding thing; if you've had a lot of drugs in labour (were you induced or did you have oxytocin or pethidine?) and if you lost a lot of blood during the birth then it can be harder to establish breastfeeding. Don't be too hard on yourself, seek help from hv and local breast feeding groups.

But at the same time if your partner can feed formula then you can get some rest and start to recuperate and heal. This was crucial for me to physically and mentally get over my emergency c section.

[OlennasWimple]

A debrief is basically a chat with a midwife (not necessarily one who was involved in your delivery) to go through your notes and discuss what happened. Most women are too shell-shocked to process that sort of stuff properly immediately after giving birth (even if the labour and delivery was pretty straight forward)

This thread here from 2013 might be useful, where pp share their experiences of a de brief

[Dsmummy]

I believe fourth degree differs in that it fully goes through to the anal area all the way. I had so many stitches they couldn’t tell me the amount.
My least good memory is a few days after, I was cheering myself up going through baby clothes and felt odd. I’d literally pooped myself and had no idea. I was terrified it would be that way forever. I had physio and did what they said and I actually have pretty normal control now. Only difference is I don’t get a lot of warning about needing the loo, for either thing! But I can wait now which is a huge improvement.
Sex....I won’t lie it’s a battle. It’s getting better. You kind of have to treat it as a muscle and keep going so the scar tissue heals and allows you to go back to normal. It’s a lot better but still painful if I’m honest.
That might not be the case for you though, it could be fine.
Just be gentle with yourself and go easy, you’ve had surgery, a complicated birth and it’s very traumatic. It will definitely get better though. Talk to the health professionals they will be sympathetic because they know it’s bad. I have so much sympathy for you!

[user1499786242]

You can breastfeed on tramadol
I have done for 2 years and my son is perfectly healthy
Pain consultant and paediatrician were both in agreement that it's safe...

[PutAnOwlOnIt]

It's ok. You are processing trauma and everything you are experiencing sounds completely normal for that (horrific for you to go through, but you aren't a nutcase).

I am not from the UK, so I don't know how your health system works, but if you were able to get access to some post trauma counselling from a psychologist, I think it would help you enormously.

Oh, and I was ok to breastfeed on tramadol. I was taking that, plus paracetamol and voltaren and two types of antibiotics after DS' birth.

I hope you can find the help you need to unpack this.

[Tattybogle89]

Hijklm no i FF both times and felt same regret

I wouldn’t give baby away unfortunately I’m too stressy.
My first born is 7 and first night away from me was when I just gave birth there.😳

[Tattybogle89]

@dsmummy sorry you had 4th degree too

I had 2nd degree with my first
I didn’t know 4th existed ☹️ Still not sure what’s been done down there.
It means skin and muscle and involves the anus right? But the fourth degree I don’t know how that differs to third.
I was operated on for over two hours to the point of having pressure sores and grazes on my bum and lower back( still don’t know why and they are really quite sore)

Are you back to normal? Took me 6months to have sex after 2nd degree now I’m thinking itl never happen again.

Just feel obliterated down there.

[Tattybogle89]

Olenna
Can you explain about the de brief what is that and who with? Can anyone do that? They spoke to me a lot about things but I kept closing my eyes and hoping it would all go away and I can’t remem their words now ☹️

[Hijklm]

Also do you have help? If you are FF I would think a good test would help. Could someone take the baby for a few hours or overnight? I think if you are very tired it’s often hard to see things clearly.

[Hijklm]

Did you breast feed your first op?

[Dsmummy]

The first few weeks are hellish from hormones going awry add to that a fourth degree tear and you’re bound to be all over the place.
I’m 10 months post partum, I had a fourth degree too. I thought it would never be ok but I’m proof it can be. If I can help in any way or offer any advice or support let me know

[OlennasWimple]

When you are ready, you can ask for a de-brief at the hospital to go through what happened to you and understand why certain things were done in the way that they were done

You are not silly, or stupid, and whatever noise you made you won't have been the first woman to do it. I promise

Can someone get you an inflatable ring or a beanbag to sit on to help you get comfortable?

[floewrs]

[Tattybogle89]

Yeah I know but they are quick to assume depressionafter birth I don’t think I am depressed not quite sure what’s going on

[YouCantArgueWithStupid]

I highly doubt they'll think that! It's the norm for humans to try and process what's happened to them

[Tattybogle89]

Hv due in next few days but don’t want them thinking I’m a nutcase (I’m not i promise)

[YouCantArgueWithStupid]

And the not feeling like you can/want to whatever breastfeeding does not make you a bad person!!! We're all women loving our babies

[YouCantArgueWithStupid]

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. Have you considered having a chat with the HV? They might be able to talk you through how you're feeling.

[Tattybogle89]

THanks guys midwife been once due again tomorrow . Mentioned breastfeeding she said possible but hard I have another child who is hard work and I’m not sure I can manage the battle at the mone thing. Does that make me a bad person?

It’s strange I just feel weird about the whole experience.
I had how it went first time in my head

And how it was meant to go this time.
Never thought you could be so affected by something not going as expected does that make sense?
Feel so sad when I think of the birth I didn’t even want to hold baby I was so shocked and upset and let down feeling immediately after that it wasn’t as it should have been?

Looking back now I don’t have good memories of it and compared to my first birth that makes me so very sad. It should have been a good day .

I keep thinking god what did the midwifes think of me I made so much noise etc I must have made a fool of myself.
I am overthinking everything.

I cant sleep.
I don’t know how normal this is but every time i fall asleep I get trapped in a fast paced nightmare related to hospital or theatre.. and I wake up shouting and screaming .

I woke up during a nap his afternoon screaming that I was bleeding everywhere and had to go check. I wasn’t .. but I wa so confused .

I keep dreaming about being held down on the table in theatre by all these male doctors.. I just felt violated after it all. They were only there to help me so why do I feel like something terrible has happened in theatre that shouldn’t?

I pulled my top out of the wash that I wore in labour and could not stop shaking and crying and I don’t know why I can’t look at it?

I don’t know if anyone can relate to this I’m probably not even in the right forum anymore and I have just totally offloaded what was in my head there.

I don’t know if anyone can relate

But would be good

Thanks for reading x

[OhHolyJesus]

My friend who had to bottle feed due to grade 4 year established breastfeeding at two weeks. She pumped as she ended up with to much milk which she donated.
As long as you are safe to do so with the meds your on then it's worth a try.
Just wanted to share this story so you know it's possible to breastfeed if it's started a little bit later. The helpline were great for me too - give them a ring. There's lot of support out there if you need it. Good luck! Xx

[outputgap]

Has a midwife come for a home visit since you left hospital, OP? You sound like you need a decent sympathetic midwife right now. Did anyone leave a number for you to call?

God, it is super hard at the beginning.

[Desmondo2016]

I know it's hideous and I'm not belittling what you're going through but I think you're probably not experience anything too out of the ordinary. Some people of course sail through labour and the early days but for the ones of us who don't no-one ever quite explains the ferocity of the pain and bewilderment. I'm not belittling you, just thought sometimes panic cam make things worse and it may help to know that however hideous it is right now it probably is within the realms of normal.

[Yogamatcat]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling rubbish. The hormones plus the trauma of birth (like someone up thread said - it’s not always a good experience).
It will get better, wether you decide to breast or bottle feed or both. Time helps. But that doesn’t help right now!
If you do want to try bf try the helpline up thread or ring the maternity ward number for your hospital.
Big unmumsnetty hugs

[Tattybogle89]