Tandem breastfeeding

[lostindubai]

This might be a thing for me as I'm ttc while still bf my ds who is nearly 2.5 once a day.

Can anyone give me any advice on how my eldest might react and how to deal with potential jealousy over feeding? Even if I wean him now would he feel jealous? Really don't want to upset him. Thanks.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

Hi - good luck op.

I was still feeding ds 1 when dd1 was born - he was 20months and it was actually helpful as I had a problem of fast let down and over supply so ds would be fed first and he wouldn't be as overwhelmed by the milk fountain... then dd could feed once the flow had slowed down a bit! He wasn't jealous and he cut down to one feed in the evening within a few months of dd being born. I don't recall any issues really.

[lostindubai]

Thank you bigmouth that's a reassuring story. I can see how it would help with fast let down. I remember ds having the occasional coughing fit back in the early days!

[plummyjam]

My milk dried up when pregnant and I think I was just producing colostrum which my 2 year old liked. I'd feed her about every other day to get her to have a nap and so I could lie down too.

Once dd2 was born and my milk came in DD1 went totally off it, has shown no interest in feeding whatsoever - it was like a switch was turned off!

[spekulatius]

DD stopped feeding when she was 2.5 (a month ago). I'm pregnant at the moment and was prepared to tandem feed but I'm finding it really really painful at the moment, not keen on the touching and squeezing either. I think DD got scared when I started screaming in pain each time she latched on and stopped on her own. I never said she couldn't feed but she obviously realised that I didn't like it and touches and kisses instead. I don't find it as hard as I thought I would, we still cosleep and she falls asleep in the same position half on me and touches a lot so we are still close.

Also to mention it took me quite long to get pregnant this time due to bf. But DD was feeding throughout the night and for nap. Didn't have any periods until she was just over 2

[lostindubai]

Thanks plummy and spek I feel better hearing your stories. Maybe things will be out of my hands, which is fine with me!

[DarCyberOod]

Dd1 stopped feeding when I was preg with dd2. Dd3 powered through and shared with ds. Spent the first few weeks feeding both at the same time quite often but then she relaxed and went back to just sleep times.

[ecosln]

I guess you don’t know how they will react you just have to know you tried your best to prepare! I think the tandem feeding could help ease the jealously of having a new baby.

Our story is:

DS1 was 2.5 when DD born. I had been working FT so he was really just feeding am & pm. Sometimes not at all if I worked early or late.

My attitude was… if he stops when I am pregnant that is great as I don’t have to bother weaning. If he is still BF when baby is born that means there is plenty of milk and all the stress and tears regarding feeding I endured as a first time mum wont be repeated. Great.

What happened was my milk went down significantly when pregnant and was possibly mostly gone as couldn’t get any by hand when I tried. So I think he was just doing it for comfort. However just as I thought yippee he has stopped the colostrum came in and he loved it. So I went with the flow and when DD was born she had milk on tap. She put on weight and lost none. Win win. In the mornings by feeding he helped with the fast let down,

Feeding DS1 at night was ok as it was at a different time to when the baby needed feeding or we would tandem. In the mornings it was too much like hard work to feed both. 3 months in I decided I needed a plan to stop. It took about three months. I began limiting time in the mornings by counting to 30 in my head then 10 out loud to him (and then gradually shortening the counting in my head) I then spent 3 months of talking to him almost daily about when he was 3 he wouldn’t be getting milk anymore.. along with the promise of a space rocket (I don’t employ bribes often!!) and on his third birthday it all went very smoothly!

With regard to preparation – it helped that he was 2+when I began talking to him about it and that I worked so no day feeds and he very rarely fed at weekends during the day.

The book I read to him had photos and text about breastfeeding and I just stressed those talking points “baby can only have milk, you are a big boy you can have milk and x/y/z” “its sad mummy cant play ball with you but I can read a book with you” and found photos of babies feeding and tandem to normalise everything for him. I didn’t encourage or discourage bf or tandem feeding, just let him find his place. I didn’t feed tandem as in both at once often more because he wasn’t as interested but if he asked I would accommodate and it soon became a bit boring for him. It was handy after bath though when I would feed both in my bed and read stories in the earl newborn days,.

Book was called Let's Talk About: My New Baby
by Stella Gurney (Author), Fiona Freund (Author)

I also found the siblings part on this helpful for the general new baby theme– I took some of the points on bored: lucysymons.squarespace.com/top-tips/

Good luck!

[plummyjam]

ecosln - my DD2 had put on a pound in weight by the time she was 10 days old - the midwife couldn't believe it!

[ecosln]

plummyjam yes my mw couldn't believe it either and weighed again... I was so proud- much better feeling than weight plummeting ds. Well done to you too!

[Artandco]

Ds2 was born when ds1 was 15 months. Both fed until just over 3 years, so tandem fed both for around 2 years. Both seemed fine