Advised to top up. Unconvinced. Am I wrong?

[Expectans]

Sorry, long.

At baby clinic this morning the weigher asked me about feeding, then suggested we top up with formula.

Baby was below the 4th centile when born, now on the 9th. He has gained 300g this week (6 weeks old). Plenty of wet and dirty nappies.

At the later feeds in the day he fusses a bit at the breast after a while and when I squeeze when he does this only a few drops will come out. He feeds a couple of times during the night and breasts feel quite full in the morning. She said I probably do not have enough milk and should start offering formula instead of BF for this last feed, and whenever I seem empty.

This just seems wrong to me. I have nothing against formula feeding but was not planning on doing it daily until I go back to work. Friends who have started topping up have ended up with problems BF. And I thought Breasts were like milk factories, ie constantly producing, rather than milk tanks. So, am I wrong? I don't want to starve DS!

[Expectans]

I do not know her job title. Will try and make it out tomorrow.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

Who was the woman who weighed your baby?

[Expectans]

Crossed wires. The woman who does the weighing is the one who advised me. She is not a health visitir.

[ExBrightonBell]

You don't have to see the HV weekly if you don't want to, it's an optional service. And if you are going just to get your baby weighed then you don't have to really engage with them anyway, just weigh and run!

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

Expectans- sorry to have derailed this thread a little.
I completely understand your reluctance to complain as you are looking for this HV to support you going forward.
As some of us have pointed out you don't really need to complain- at least not at this stage.
I was given misinformation too about breastfeeding by my HV, and to this day have never complained about her- I just chalked it up to experience. I simply found support for that aspect of baby care elsewhere. My HV despite being crap at BF advice was very suppportive in lots of other ways so I didn't want to rock the boat either.
Have a think about it- there really is no pressure- maybe if the subject comes up again you will feel more inclined to mention it.

One of the problems about HVs is they have no ongoing requirement to keep their breastfeeding support skills up to date. Once trained that's it, how effective they are depends on their own personal interests and motivation to keep themselves informed.
It may be a long time since a HV had any breastfeeding support training and unfortunately in that time many pick up misinformation or put a heavy personal slant on the advice thay give.
Some HVs are great of course, but unfortunately many are not, it's a bit hit or miss.

[Expectans]

I am not sure to whom I would complain as the HV is not interested. I am also loath to antagonise a woman I am likely to see weekly for the foreseeable. Perhaps if she offers me advice again I can tell her she is wrong, diplomatically.

[tiktok]

crash, sorry you are disappointed! I thought it was important to clarify that mothers who don't complain at bad advice are not to blame for low breastfeeding rates - you seem to have backtracked or changed your mind or realised that's not really what you intended to say, so happy days :)

[crashbangboom]

Hides thread.

And tik took very disappointed in you. Assisting to derail thread. Nice.

[crashbangboom]

I've explained. Reread or leave it be.

You are a bully.just had a quick search. Confrontation rude and aggressive on most threads. Nasty.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

"I maintain the lack of complaints and challenging health visitors/assistants contributes to low breastfeeding rates. "

I don't understand what you are saying here crashbang- the above is a quote from you.

No need to pull the bully card- no one is bullying you here- two people happen to disagree so no need for that.

[crashbangboom]

Reread my comments. Before you both jumped on and bullied me. I never said non complaining were responsible for low feeding rates.

I suggested comments like we are a crusader were.

I originally said poor advice and lack of use of research contributed to people not feeding as long as they want to.

Oh and I meant to type I do however believe not maintain....

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

"And tiktok I never blamed non complaining mothers for low breastfeeding rates."

"I maintain the lack of complaints and challenging health visitors/assistants contributes to low breastfeeding rates. "

???? Contradicting yourself here crashbang.

[crashbangboom]

And tiktok I never blamed non complaining mothers for low breastfeeding rates.

The we are all crusaders implies challenging should only be done by the militant?

[crashbangboom]

I think your both overreacting and being unnecessarily rude.

I recongnised OP may not have energy to formulate a complaint and suggested asking for help if necessary.

I maintain the lack of complaints and challenging health visitors/assistants contributes to low breastfeeding rates.

If not challenged they continue to give poor outdated advice. Women also pass on the advice they received to others in similar circumstances and then pass it on through generations.

The sooner they retrain the better support they can offer.

If a mother doesn't feel they can complain that's there call.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

Thanks tiktok- I made that comment because I do know how difficult things are for new Mums with a tiny baby, trying to get breastfeeding established- it can all be very daunting. Even the most self confident capable and vocal women can have their foundations shaken by the life changing circumstances of having a new baby and trying to overcome breastfeeding problems.
New mothers can be fragile, emotionally drained, tired and sometimes making a complaint is a step too far.
I made this comment simply to try not to add to the burdens of the OP.
Her priority is sorting out herself and her baby, not to take a HV to task over bad advice.
If she wants to complain then that's fine, but so many posters are telling her that she ought to complain that I was trying to defuse some of the pressure she may be under atm.

There others that are happy to "crusade"- me for instance, and plenty other mothers perhaps with 6 months successful breastfeeding under their belts who feel they do want to challenge bad advice- and that's great.
If the OP feels he want to complain at a later date- or even never - that's her call and she shouldn't be judged for it.

I think crashbangs comment was unhelpful.

[tiktok]

twelve, I agree with you - not everyone wants to go on a mission to winkle out bad bf advice, and no one should feel they have to. Mothers have a lot on their plates and it can be daunting to challenge even rubbish advice from a healthcare professional :(

When mothers can ask/complain/challenge/query, then all power to them!

But it's not compulsory and it is ludicrous to think, as crashbang seems to, that non-complaining mothers are responsible for low breastfeeding rates....ridiculous notion!

[Imnotbeverley]

atthestroke- this is the second thread I've read in the last week where you have appeared argumentative, it's quite strange.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

My god crashbang we can't win can we.
If we do speak up we are accused of being militant or other less far ruder names.

All I am saying to the OP is that she doesn't have to challenge this- she can just move on and find help where she can.
New mothers are vulnerable and don't always want to challenge advice, especially if given by a HV. I know mine was a dragon and I would do anything to avoid her.

Don't accuse me of being responsible for low breastfeeing rates- you know nothing of me. What have you done to improve rates?

[crashbangboom]

We are not all crusaders is a very rude comment.

Probably explains why we have such a low breastfeeding success rate.

OP I hope you are feeding more confident that feeding is going well.

[sarahann1211112]

I know its a hassle but I think it is important to report this person, your response in having the confidence to question what your being told and open it up for discussion is what maybe 1 in 10 mums would do. I am sorry to say a lot of new mums are not as confident and would mistakenly think the formula would solve the fussiness and lead to more sleep at night.
I am sure that her advice does not represent the nhs party line and I am sure her superiors would be shocked if they knew this was the advice being given to someone with a healthy happy weight gaining baby.
I know it seems mean to report her but think of the babies and mum's that want to breastfeed and don't succeed because of lack of support and bad advice.

[atthestrokeoftwelve]

Whether she is a HV or not makes no odds- there are plenty crap HVs giving bad breastfeeding advice.

Sounds as if Bfeeding is going brilliantly. Breasts don't feel so "full" as the weeks progress and your supply settles down- this is perfectly normal and not a sign of a low milk supply. Most of the milk is produced "to order" during a feed and not stored.
Giving a formula top up will impact on your own supply.

You may like to give one of the breastfeeding charities a ring on their helpline, just to get some reassurance. La Leche League and NCT are good, and will be happy to talk just to put your concerns to ease.

If you want to complain then do- but you may want to just save your efforts into continuing the great work you are doing feeding your baby.
we are not all crusaders.

[crashbangboom]

if HV not interested then you need to complain. This is exactly why so many people don't bf as long as they want to. Poor advice and not in line with research.

If you don't have energy to formulate a complaint I'm sure mn could help you word a letter!

[Expectans]

Well, I mentioned that I had been advised by the weigher to top up, and the HV seemed uninterested and just said not to. So sadly I do not think anything will be done re reeducating her.

Anadventure, in hospital I was told by a very grumpy midwife that DS was a lazy baby. He was less than one day old, and struggling to latch on.

[AnAdventureInCakeAndWine]

I know our HVs have / used to have a NNEB assisting them with weighing and with weaning advice sessions (she was the one who told me that DS had "a bad temper" and I'd need to "deal with that" when he was 4-5 months old or so...). This might be similar, perhaps?

[littlebluedog12]

Just keep going and feed whenever he wants to. I listened to similar 'advice' with DD1 and as a result she started refusing to BF and I struggled with expressing and mixed feeding for months until I eventually switched to only FF at 5 months. With DD2 I just fed whenever she wanted, even when she dropped from the 50th to 9th centile. I ended up BFing her until she was 3 and she is now a happy healthy 75th centile almost 4 year old!