I hate breast feeding!!

[Cupcakemummy85]

My dd is 8 weeks old and I'm really sorry to say but I hate breastfeeding. We've had nothing but problems since day one (tongue tie, unsettled, cluster feeding 24/7, reflux, colic) and I've had enough. I'm also a human dummy. She feeds all day long and at night has an hour or two of screaming around six, so I then have to take her upstairs to bed and try and calm her down and feed her to sleep.
My dd1 is only 21 months and I'm not being a mother to her at all. I can't put her to bed because the baby just wants to feed and feed and if we r out I cannot spend quality time with her because the baby wakes up and wants feeding. (She spends hours on the breast). I've tried dummies and she spits them out. I wanted to combination feed but now she hates bottles
. My dh says don't give up as dd2 is putting on lots of weight and I have lots of milk ( too much). I've given up dairy to see if that could help so I'm miserable because of that too. I breastfed dd1 until she was 8 months and I really enjoyed it but this time it's so stressful. If it wasn't for dh I wouldn't get to eat as I'm on the sofa feeding. Please someone tell me what to do. It's not getting easier and she isn't feeding regularly.
Oh and we r co sleeping which I'm not very comfortable with. The hv said give her a bottle in the evening but how can I when I don't know when her next feed is as she is feeding constantly through the day. I'm sorry for the depressing rant but I'm litreally at breaking point now.

[Cupcakemummy85]

Well the doctor gave us special formula that is free if pretty much everything but of course she started feeding well that day lol. It's not been completely smooth, she has thrown up massively today, I mean her whole feed practically (breast). So not sure if I should go to the doctors again and tell them that. I'm hesitating with the bottles again. Can u do bottles in the day and breast feed at night? She only took 2oz today when I tried her with one bottle. I'm a complete mess right now, we are going on holiday in a week and I have no clue what to do.

[HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds]

Maybe just introduce one small bottle a day for now, and gradually increase if it seems to be working for you both?

Bf/ff don't have to be all or nothing, you will keep producing milk as long as you are breastfeeding, if you want to go for ff in the day and bf at night this should be perfectly manageable, but I would go for a gradual change rather than an immediate one.

[YoniBottsBumgina]

Yes I agree. And if you've gone dairy/other things free then it will have taken a few days to come out of your system hence why you wouldn't see results straight away. You've got the formula now if you want to use it and if you don't, breastfeeding sounds like it's going better.

You can't just suddenly switch a lot of feeds to bottles as this will impact supply but swapping one a day on occasion will be fine and you can increase this when you want to, just do it gradually :)

[veryverytiredmummy]

I'm really sorry that I've only just seen this thread, you sounded on the verge of pnd - but clearly you weren't there yet because you could see the need to ask for support. This is positive.

I wanted to post because it sounds a little like the problem I had with my daughter. She would eat, pull off and fall asleep and 10 mins later she would eat again. I couldn't do anything and was just a feeding machine. I hated it.

Don't beat yourself up about giving a bottle. I got through without giving a bottle and am quite militant about breast feeding but getting beyond that line and falling into depression would do more harm to DC than the odd formula feed.

Before you do the bottle thing though you might want to try this - it's what worked for me. When DC is feeding keep a close eye and as they look tired pull their ear gently to wake them up (or any other way you can keep them with you). Or if not falling asleep then after they've pulled off, take their head firmly and put it back. This is harder because it feels like you're being cruel - you're not. They're tired but they need to eat so that they can sleep better. Obviously you need to use sensitivity and care, I'm not suggesting hurting the child - before the mumsnet police arrive.

The point is to get DC to take more and better quality milk so that it stays in the tummy longer and then they can sleep. (It doesn't sound like cluster feeding to me but snacking which means they take the watery thirst quenching bit and not the more nutritious stuff).

You may find that there is the difficulty of not producing enough though because that's the pattern your breasts have got in. So you might find it worth trying a bottle in the day to build up the supply for the next feed and then trying what I suggest. Hopefully that will lead to a bigger feed and a longer gap - meaning a bigger feed next time. The gap should get steadily bigger and the vicious circle will reverse into a positive one.

Oh and if you do the mixed feeding, don't forget you could start expressing in the day and then use that as some of the bottle feed.

What ever you did or try good luck! Both mine were/are counter-intuitive as babies - pulling away as a sign of hunger being just one example!

[January2013]

What you've said is like looking back at my life 4 months ago! It has been a long struggle but this week I have finally got my dd to take a bottle of my choice! About a month ago he started taking nuk bottles on his terms only & only the odd ounce. I have gone through every teat/bottle possible & he finally excepted a latex teat which is supposed to be more breast like. Anyway, to prove there is light at the other end he has taken a doctor brown this week & has been bottle feeding for all his feeds during the day time. He is only having a few ounces at a time, but that's something that I never though would ever happen - 18 months on!

So hang in there & keep trying the bottle. My partner got so feed up in the end and has now got a phobia of feeding my dd I think due to endless screaming fits so now I've got to work on curing that and give him confidence...

I hope things improve, definitely try a latex teat if you haven't already :)

[January2013]

Sorry, 18 weeks on I meant to say - not months!!

[January2013]

Sorry, 18 weeks on I meant to say - not months!!