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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

Tell me your experiences of ADs and breastfeeding please

106 replies

hunkermunker · 07/04/2006 08:55

Thank you

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Jasean · 09/04/2006 01:01

When my daughter was born, I'd been planning to feed her 'mixed' - breast at home by myself(I'm shy!) and expressed into a bottle anywhere else. Also her dad could feed her as well like that. I had a breast pump and everything I needed for that. But once she was born, the midwives told me, very firmly, that you can't use a bottle and breast, the baby will be confused, that it had to be one or the other. So I chose to bottle feed, and I've always regretted it. I wasn't encouraged at all to breast feed, infact the opposite. My daughter's had loads and loads of stumach bugs, flu, etc, and I absolutely believe that it's because she missed out on the early breast milk.

hunkermunker · 09/04/2006 01:15

Worked out what's been really, really bothering me though - this house.

We made the offer three years ago, almost to the day, but didn't move in till October.

When we made the offer, I had been told I'd never have children.

When we moved, I was 15 weeks pregnant (and delighted about it!).

We bought this house with the aim of doing it up (as a young married couple with no children but stacks of energy can renovate and move on quickly - we'd already done it once).

As it turned out, the house was in a far worse state than the survey had said, because the previous owners had pissed on the kitchen floor (honestly - was vile - elderly lino with wedges of urine-soaked newspaper underneath), put holes in the walls and ceilings, left the place filthy - the kitchen was rotten, the bathroom basin wasn't attached to the wall, EVERYWHERE stank of cats (they'd had a litter tray under the dining table...on carpet...and had a BAD aim), etc, etc, etc. Doors didn't fit, the whole place had bodges all over it.

So we spent money we didn't have making it habitable and it wasn't finished when DS1 was born (we didn't even live in it for three months - moved in on Christmas Eve, having taken ownership of it at the beginning of October) - and with having a baby and no money, then going back to work stupid hours and always being tired, partly because I expressed so he would have bmilk when I was at work), then getting pg (planned!) when DS1 was 12mo - we just haven't finished it.

So I live in a house I'm not meant to still be in, it's not finished, it's not much good for children, layout-wise - no hall, no landing, no storage, TINY kitchen, no airing cupboard, windows are shit and have two bays so massively expensive to replace, front door and back door don't fit, it costs a fortune to heat, and it's going to cost more than we have (we have less than nothing) to get to a standard where it'd be worth putting o the market...and now I'm boring myself with it!

My one big problem with telling people I have PND is that they might think I don't like the children, when it's them that keep me going - they're such adorable little boys.

So I've spent the last three years living in an unfinished house and I now own more Little People than I ever dreamt I would and there's nowhere to bloody put anything! And now I'm on amternity leave and we have no money so it's hard to do anything else to the house and the send hunker a quid campaign hasn't taken off in quite the way I hoped and LGJ is going to kill me for still being awake and posting At This Hour...

And this all sounds like teaspoon rage...I realise this! Gah!

Thanks for listening and don't point and shout "Mentalist!" when you see me elsewhere on MN, please...!

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/04/2006 01:23

oh hunker

I know how you feel and how frustrating it must be for you. It will get better, and things will settle down. You will have more time to do the things you need to do, and when you are feeling better you can focus on sorting money issues out etc.

You can only do what you can do at the moment.

Although, on your behalf, i would like to ask the MN community if they know of a good carpenter who could sort hunkers door - free of charge - because i have seen it and its not funny and bloody drafty!

myturn · 09/04/2006 01:32

Wish I knew a carpenter.

It is easier to blame PMD on something tangible, other than accept the simple fact that you have PND. You will be able to deal with all of the problems you have with the house in time, hunker, but the most important things have to be sorted first. I mean you. Everything seems out of control when you have PND. Once that is taken care of you can start to focus on the rest. Nothing is insurmountable, it just may seem like it at the moment. Don't blame other things for the way you are feeling - that is just putting off getting the help you really need. See your doctor HM. You deserve all the support you can get.

hunkermunker · 09/04/2006 01:38

Thanks, everyone. REALLY appreciate it.

Am seeing GP on Wed and will ask for full blood count and thyroid function too - need to rule out everything else, somehow...!

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myturn · 09/04/2006 01:40

That's a good start. Will be keeping an eye on how things are going for you.

hunkermunker · 09/04/2006 01:42

Thank you. Have to go to bed now as LGJ will pull my bottom lip over the top of my head if she catches me on here this late

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myturn · 09/04/2006 01:44

She's a scary woman that LGJ!!! Sleep well.

chipmonkey · 09/04/2006 02:18

Hunker, just saw this. Know the feeling from ds1, should have gotten meds but never really talked to anyone about it. It did go by itself but I was unnecessarily miserable for quite a while. Take whatever you need.

Cristina7 · 09/04/2006 08:31

Hello, HM. I had PND starting around 7-8 months after having DD. The GP put me on ADs (prozac) and the difference was almost instantaneous. My only worry was that DD wouldn't eat well (as they pass a little bit through breastmilk) and she didn't, but I think she's just a tiny girl, she goes through phases when she does eat loads, so it might not be entirely AD-related. I've had no trouble with my appetite, unfortunately. After this month (she's now 13 months old) I'm going to start decreasing the dose to every other day, every 3 days etc till we're both off them.

Sorry to hear you're going through this and your house situation must make it easy finding things to worry or be angry about.

Spacecadet · 09/04/2006 08:49

hunker-have only just seen this.
firstly, you need to chat with your gp with regards to having thyroid function etc first, its not unusual to become temporarily hypothyroid after giving birth, in a small percentage of women it doesnt resolve, such as myself who ended up on thyroxine.
my thyrooid consultant told me that underactive thyroid can mimic pnd.
if it turns out that you do have pnd, discuss the options for ads with your gp, there are plenty of ads that are suitible for use when breastfeeding.
secondly, it seems that you are wrung out and exhausted, i can see where you are coming from with the house, could you not draw up a list of priority jobs that will make the house feel more homely, until you can afford the major ones, or when you return to work, would you consider perhaps taking out a small remortgage in order to get the essential work done, that way you can also pay someone else to do it!
lastly though, the most important thing at the mo, is that you do not try and do 100 things at once, and rest when you can, sleep deprivation can do very strange things to people and will certainly make you feel the way you do at the mo.
before you go to bed, write all your worries down, so that they are out of your head.
grab the oppurtunity for a nap whenever you can.

Enid · 09/04/2006 08:51

god no wonder you are depressed

especially when you have just had a baby and want your surroundings to be all, easy and lovely.

we had the builders in for a year last year and it was hellish and I wasn't even pg for most of it.

Do you have one room which is done enough for you to feel happy with it? If I were you I would get it to an OK standard then sell it?

misdee · 09/04/2006 08:55

right i am coming round to decorate! i can do basic DIY as well.

Flossam · 09/04/2006 09:01

Oh Hunker, Have only just seen this.

Firstly, you are very naughty for being up so late (says she smugly because DS called her to bed last night!)

I am so sorry you are feeling so low, but are very glad you are taking measures to make yourself better. Stop feeling guilty - your boys (and DH) and everyone on here all want you to feel better - you are not being weak, you are being strong and sensible.

I can completely relate to the house stuff, here has quite a few things that need to be done. The thing, really is just not to think about it. But when you are down I know you focus on the things that are problems far more.

Basically, let DH worry about the house. Try and enjoy the rest of your mat leave, and accept that at the moment money is tight, but in return you have the opportunity to spend lots of time at home with your boys. No matter how bad a state the house, this time is invaluable. Hopefully with the right prescription you will be properly able to enjoy it, and I am so sorry this awful illness is tainting this time for you.

Like I have said before you know I am around if ever you need me, or if ever you want a break away I'd be delighted to have you and so would DS! Thinking of you. xxxx

Blandmum · 09/04/2006 09:04

I was a medical infomration officer for a drug comapany that made antidepresants (Dothiapin AKA protiaden). We were asled about BF and Ads a lot....for obvious reasons. We always discussed a study that showed that there were no short or long term problems in the children who's mothers had been treated while bf. The study followed the children to age 5 iirc. In fact there were some slight benefits in terms of the cognitive developement of the children.

Fully echo what others have said that is is better for the baby if the mum doesn't have pnd

Spacecadet · 09/04/2006 09:16

hunker-also wanted to say that the cruel thing about pnd is that it effects you at a time when you are supposed to be happy.
i had pnd after ds2 and although i loved him more than anything, i was just desperately unhappy and irrational.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/04/2006 10:23

Hope you are feeling better this morning. Get DH and the kids to take you out of the house whilst the sun is shining.

The cruelest thing about pnd is that it makes you feel like you cant/dont want to go out. Which in your circumstances and how you feel about your house is bound to exacerbate your feelings.

Once you have seen your GP and he has given you appropriate medication you will start to feel better about things generally and will start going out more. You will feel far less trapped i promise.

(do you remember i was house hunting for a while last year........)

hunkermunker · 09/04/2006 10:30

Thanks for all your kind words, ladies

VVV, I do go out quite a lot, because I can't bear to be here - but one Monday a couple of weeks ago I did spend the whole day here happily, so I know it can be done.

Bloody hell, I should be a bit happier to be in my own home than that, shouldn't I?! One Monday in I don't know how many months... More bloody hell!

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Squarer · 09/04/2006 11:08

Hunker - I have just seen this. Just wanted to say I am so sorry you are going through this but am glad you have recognised it for what it is. Many people don't at first (myself included!). Hope you start to feel much better soon

fennel · 09/04/2006 11:21

sorry to hear this Hunker

but, to reiterate what others have said, there is no reason to give up BF when going on ADs. Health visitors, and many GPs, are just ignorant. if you ask anyone who's actually an expert on BF and AD's they say it's ok. have not been on ADs myself but have researched this several times for friends who have been.

hope things get better soon.

Miaou · 09/04/2006 12:35

Oh Hunker, can't believe I missed this. Will email you rather than waffle on on here. (((((((hugs)))))))).

hunkermunker · 09/04/2006 12:37

Did feel perhaps I shouldn't put this on MN as I'm usually so "up" on here, then thought that perhaps it might help someone else if they saw that someone who is usually so "up" can feel so appalling.

Or something.

One day I'll think straight again...and have some motivation...and not sweat the petty stuff (or pet the sweaty stuff...)...

Oh, then I also realised that I was allowed to use MN for support and not just shits and giggles! Doh!

Thanks again - much appreciated.

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Pruni · 09/04/2006 12:49

Hunker, I had no idea this thread was yours.

I've only got a little experience of PND-like existence and nothing to add to the excellent help you've had here.

But I do know about myself that I cannot live happily in some places. Some people don't mind their surroundings. I'm a bit weirdly synaesthetic, in that textures and colours affect me physically - I can feel them. I'm also extra sensitive to cold. We're just all made differently, I suppose. I know that my family think I am ridiculous, and see me as being dramatically fussy about how things look, when really it's about how things feel. Does any of that ring any bells with you?

(HC will laugh if she reads this, because she's been to my house...)

Is there any way you can make house renovation a priority? Could we get a MN crack diy team together and help out? I am a dab hand with a paintbrush...

jabberwocky · 09/04/2006 12:49

Just saw this, hunker. I'm so sorry. PND is a horrible thing, isn't it? fwiw, mine didn't really kick in until ds was around 4 months, then I didn't get help until he was 6 months and I was suicidal by then. I was the same as you regarding the rages. Almost anything could make me fly off, mainly at poor dh. My doctor put me on zoloft, as I was adamant that I wanted to continue bfing. He seemed to think zoloft was better than prozac for that. And, it kicked in really, really quickly. Within the first week or two. In fact, they said if I didn't start noticing at least a little improvement after the first week to let them know.

I was supposed to start with 25 mg and work up from there, but have found the 25 works fine. (Yes, I'm still taking it 2 years later ) The only thing about such a small dose is that I absolutely cannot miss one.

I do hope they find something for you quickly. Life is too short to keep feeling like this, sweetie.

hunkermunker · 09/04/2006 12:53

Pruni, YES! That rings so many bells with me.

(I probably should've mentioned the appalling Artex on the ceilings of our living/dining room and our bedroom too, right? Looks like a Christmas cake made by someone on the Generation Game...). DH is happy to DIY (DIH?!) but I find I really need him at the weekends atm - seems like I struggle all week and if I had to take the boys off by myself at the weekend too - too hard.

JW, that's good to know about the different drug - not heard of that one. Very positive to hear that it had such a rapid effect.

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