thank you all - this is what I thought, too! Do you think my letter below is ok? I have several medical journal articles to send about calcium levels and breastfeeding:
'I am sorry for writing to you, but I had an appointment today at your clinic, and was seen by Dr . I am quite unhappy about my appointment and some of the advice I was given in it. My concerns are listed underneath my brief history below:
I have had a sore vagina for years - specifically the back wall at the entrance to the vagina. I have had many tests for infections, which have revealed nothing wrong. However, it is still red and inflamed, with small 'lumps'. After I had a caesarian and was breastfeeding for 7-8 months, the whole vagina was very sore and dry, at which point I was referred to you. You prescribed a replacement oestrogen cream which is working well to overcome the dryness and soreness throughout the vagina.
However, the entrance to the vagina is still excruciating painful - I have only managed to have sex twice since I gave birth. The doctor today agreed it is inflamed with an ?odd lumpy texture?.
I am still BF 3-4 times a day, but with a good 8 hour break during the day while at work, and at night, for the past 5 weeks, and I do not believe the pain at the entrance to my vagina is related to breastfeeding, given the pain started before I was pregnant.
I saw Dr _ today and she told me:
- My baby did not need breastfeeding past one year old. I accept she does not get the majority of her nutrition from my breastmilk anymore, but she does still require calories from milk in one form or another, and I would rather it was my milk at this stage. She also still gains a lot of psychological benefit from feeding, and antibodies from me. Current World Health Organisation recommendations are to breastfeed a child until they are two years old as a minimum, due to the health benefits for both baby and mother. I left with the distinct impression the doctor today thought I should stop breastfeeding immediately and that there was no point in me still breastfeeding.
- My bones would suffer and become weak if I breastfeed for more than a year. I do believe there is a temporary loss of bone calcium while I am breastfeeding, but that normal calcium levels are quickly restored after weaning, and there are several scientific papers to support this view:
www.biomedcentral.com/1472-6874/9/19
- The doctor told me to ?ask for an address to get vaginal dilators from the hospital pharmacy? - I did this, in front of several people, and was met with baffled looks, and a general embarrassed shuffle from the many members of the public in the pharmacy at the time. I was asked to repeat myself, and asked to write a note instead. I did this, and several members of the pharmaceutical team looked at the note and discussed it, with quizzical expressions. An exceptionally sympathetic pharmacist recognised how difficult it was to talk about this in front of lots of people and took me aside to say the pharmacy had no idea what they were or how to get them and advised me to go back to my GP or phone the clinic back.
It was extremely embarrassing, and I do not understand why the doctor could not have phoned the pharmacy herself to check they would be able to give me this information, or written me a note to give to the pharmacy. I am not easily embarrassed, but even I was quite upset by this incident.
Having done some research on the internet, I could buy some vaginal dilators, but they cost around £50 for a set. If it is possible to be prescribed them, I would rather have them on prescription and see someone regularly to check on my progress and make sure I was using them correctly.
- When I voiced my concerns about something more serious, such as ovarian cancer or an ovarian cyst, she told me I was being ridiculous. No other assurance was given, or reasons for this not being the case ? given that I have other symptoms, such as bloating and back pain, I was hoping for more reassurance than simply ?Don?t be ridiculous?.
- Finally, and the recommendation that really surprised me: the doctor told me I should go back to the local genitourinary clinic as they have 'seen more vaginas than we have, and may be able to help further'. Given _ is a very large regional hospital, this advice seemed a little odd, especially given I have already been to the GUM.
I would appreciate it if you could pass on the information about breastfeeding and bone calcium to the doctor I saw, and let her know that the pharmacy cannot supply an address for patients to get vaginal dilators from. I would also very much appreciate another appointment with you, rather than anyone else. If the only way to guarantee this is to go privately, could you let me know how to arrange it, please.
I am very sorry to be writing this letter ? usually the care I receive is fantastic, but today I left the hospital feeling upset (I cried for about an hour when I got home), embarrassed and angry.'
Thanks for any feedback and thank you for feeling irate, too - I was furious when I left.
So I came home and gave LO a lovely long BF and felt calmer!