2 week old still not back to birth weight- sleepy baby

[Needsomewine]

I'm feeling a bit sad tonight. Dd is 2 weeks old and is still not quite back to birthweight of 6lb 3oz. She is very sleepy and only feeds every 4 hours. Please don't tell me I need to feed her more often as some of her 4 hourly feeds are very hard work in terms of keeping her awake. I often have to take her off the breast as she has fallen into a deep sleep. She feeds naked and I wake her up up to 8 times during a feed. However, she can feed really well, I hear her glugging milk down and she has very wet nappies throughout the day. She only poos once every 5 days so god knows what weight she'd be if she poo'd more often. I topped her up for the first week or so as she was tongue tied but she then started settling between feeds just on my milk so I stopped top-ups. When she has a good feed, she will posset so I don't think she would tolerate top-ups anyway. I keep her on each boob for at least half an hour (in total), longer if I feel there is still milk there. What am I doing wrong. She only lost about 5oz as I topped up in the first week so why isn't she gaining well? Any thoughts would be really appreciated:).

[LoveBeingAMummyAgain]

Fab news, well done!

[tiktok]

Yay :)

[crikeybadger]

Wow, that is great news Needsomewine.

Well done for all your hard work in getting to this point.

[Needsomewine]

Just to update, dd put on 9oz in 8 days so is most certainly up to birth weight now . We have had a really good couple of days, mainly because she is staying awake more during feeds, only have to wake her once or twice now so a big improvement. Still having to wake her for feeds but I expect that will soon change! Thank you so much for supporting me up to this point, i have really appreciated the it:).

[Needsomewine]

Yes, she wasn't very hungry this morning, even though it had been 4hrs since her last feed by the time I resorted to a bottle! But in the night she was obviously hungry. Maybe I had this with dd1 though and just had to get through it until she started to feed. Things certainly weren't easy on that bf journey either, but successful in the big picture! Trouble is because she was only 6lb 2oz last week, the pressure is on me to top her up if we have a feed that isn't working. Yes, things would be different if we were 6 weeks down the line and gaining weight with the same scenario as last night. I am also worried she will start to prefer a bottle as she seems to be having a few!

[tiktok]

If she refuses to feed maybe she is not hungry at that moment.

This is one of the points of skin to skin contact and the way it allows you to stay close to your baby all the time. You have to watch the baby not the clock. You become more 'skilled' at understanding when she is making 'moves' that indicate she is willing to latch on and being able to respond 'on the spot' before the moment passes.

Struggling to latch a sleepy baby, maybe a baby you have actually tried to wake up, because the clock says 'it's time' can lead to exactly the experiences you have described. The baby gets cross and frustrated and resistant.

More frequent feeding is definitely helped by skin to skin or when that's not convenient, close holding (like 'wearing' the baby in a sling).

How does this sound?

[tiktok]

Yes, you had milk....it would be physiologically highly unusual if you did not. Your baby did not want to feed at that point - no biggie, honestly. Not latching properly or sucking when she did latch on may mean nothing more than this is not what she wanted at that time.

Hope things go better today.

[Needsomewine]

You are right tiktok, if she has put on a bit of weight, things will be better and I will relax a bit in my ability to feed her. But, what do I do when she refuses to feed and is hungry? I don't want my nights to continue in this pattern. I don't really want to involve dh at night and I certainly don't want to be expressing.

[Needsomewine]

And I obviously had the milk there.

[tiktok]

:( :( needsomewine you are getting into a knot :(

Your baby is making progress and you have changed the way you feed - you're now worrying about every feed and every interaction with her and judging if it was ok or if it 'failed' and expressing in the middle of the night and looking at precise amounts.....and it is not helping, because it's the bigger picture that counts.

If you have her weighed in a couple of days, she'll be three weeks and if she is at birthweight and a bit beyond this will show you are on the right lines generally. Things are not so 'knife edge' that you need to be concerned about what happens every feed, or even every night and day, honestly.

[Needsomewine]

I don't know whether to start a new thread, just so frustrated... I again failed to feed dd last night. She just wouldn't latch on properly and when she did, she didn't suck and then was screaming. This happened the night before too but I was perfectly relaxed last night so I don't think the factor was me this time. I am paranoid about my milk supply when she doesn't feed so dh had to give her a bottle (she had 3oz) and I went to express- got 4oz. This was at 3.30am. At 6.30 I woke her and brought her downstairs to feed, different setting etc etc. She again failed to feed, latched on well to start with but then I could feel her just chomping on my nipple so took her off. I didn't feel like there was that much milk there. Did I express too much in the night? Anyway, I again got dh to feed her- she didn't seem that hungry. She had 2oz and I then expressed 2oz.

Am so frustrated now, we had such a fab day yesterday. She fed regularly and well and I approached the failed feed confident, relaxed and had a hungry baby. Just so hard:(

[RitaMorgan]

2-3 hourly is loads more than 4 hourly over a day though, so you've made huge strides in the last couple of days.

[Zimm]

Yes as tiktok says 2-2.5 hours is prob about average for a newborn - sounds really good. You are doing so well. Don't stress over the evening feeds - they are harder as your milk is slower - I used to have to feed DD for hours to get her full at that time. And there was loads of screaming. look at the whole day - not just the individual feeds.

You could try a hot bath in the early evening - the relaxation and break used to really help through the evening feeds and I got better let-down. Even if only 10 mins.

[tiktok]

2 to 2.5 hourly and 3 hrly at night should be ok - fighting and struggling is not :)

[Needsomewine]

Rita sorry iwasnt clear there. I have no trouble expressing lol. I was bf at 9 ish last night but couldn't get my milk to letdown after lots of attempts. Had had a stressful day with dd1 and another family member(!) which was probably the reason but in the end dd2 was getting so cross that I had to give her a bottle. I expressed again at midnight and gave her another bottle as I couldn't bear the thought of failing to letdown and being knackered in the middle of the night too. Things have been better today but I really can't afford to get stressed like that if bf is going to work. Its just one thing after another at the moment!!

Thank you for asking zimm. did manage 1.5 to 2 hrs til my 9pm disastrous feed yesterday! Had busier day today so have done every 2 to 2.5 hrs, tbh I think this is more realistic for dd, even though it's not optimal for bf. And at night, I really can't face doing anymore than 3 hourly!! Would be different if she was waking for feeds.

[OutnumberedSal]

Hi
My baby is now 4 months. He didn't regain his birthweight until he was 4 weeks, and would sleep up to 8 hours a night. I was advised to wake him (though he really wasn't interested) was feeding every 2 hours then expressing for 20 minutes after each feed (this then gave me mastitis) He is my third baby and the first was very similar. My boys are all perfectly healthy. The oldest is now 8 & has never had a day off school ill, and is now the average size of a 10 year old! The baby is happily cruising between 9th & 25th centile. With hindsight, it was when I relaxed, had a Health visitor who didn't weight him every 2 minutes (or so it seemed) and focussed on the fact that he was healthy, everything came together. Also, he would go up to a week without pooing, with no other side effects, and again, is fine. I feel that so long as he starts to poo a bit more regularly when he's on solids (and the signs are good so far), this is fine - he just takes what he needs and not much extra. My health visitor agrees. Really hope this reassures you. x

[RitaMorgan]

I've never been able to express, not in over a year of breastfeeding! I think it just doesn't work for some women.

[Zimm]

How did your night go OP? Your goal of 1.5 hourly feeds sounds great.

[Needsomewine]

Ok thanks tiktok :). Have had a reasonable day with dd though have just had to give her a bottle for the last feed as I couldn't get my milk to flow at all, cue screaming dd:( :(. This is what happened on the 2 nights I had to express for 1 feed and give her a bottle. This is because of me being stressed or something,right? Horrible. Think I need some sleep!

[tiktok]

All milk is good and nourishing - the more watery stuff is also good and nourishing! Volume of milk is what drives weight gain and milk production - don't be sucked into the totally erroneous 'understanding' of fore/hindmilk that deems it essential that babies 'get to the hindmilk' and must feed for X minutes to ensure it.

[tiktok]

I think it may be you are fixing on the weight more than it deserves - you are feeding responsively, not restricting feeds, and trying to ensure she feeds often and stays close to you. That's great. She is gaining, and a sensible thing would be to have her weighed by the midwife/HV in a few days to see that your change of feeding freq. is having the right effect.

Thereafter, all should be fine :)

[Needsomewine]

Sorry, I went into a ramble instead then!! In my opinion the jaundice is gone but will ask the hv's opinion on wed. My dd1 was sleepy after the jaundice had gone so hence I'm not counting it as much of a factor. All the hcp's have not been worried and asked if I thought it was getting better/ worse etc. So I will ask her, maybe I will just request a blood test? Tbh, I feel like I am getting enough quantity of milk into dd most of the time but I'm just upset at the lack of weight gain. She is obviously just getting the watery c**p as the feeds are too far spaced out:(. I am going to try and feed her every 1.5 hrs today for 20-30 mins. I'm not trying to micro manage by saying the time but I obviously can't keep her going for 1 hr + if trying to feed her so often.

[LoveBeingAMummyAgain]

So has the jaundice completely gone? The fact is it makes babies sleepy. That's why ice been told not to let her go any longer than 4 hours between feeds. The mw is coming again tomorrow to check ds and if it's not gone enough he'll be having a blood test to check what's going on.

[Needsomewine]

3rd sentence- it never really got any worse and none of the m/w's who visited were worried.

[Needsomewine]

Oh yes, she was jaundiced. I and the m/w picked it up in hospital on day 2. It never really got any none of the midwives who visited were worried. However, the HV on day 13 commented that she had a tinge of jaundice. I think it has gone though...they seem to really respect your opinion on your baby's jaundice (perhaps more if dc2 or more) and she asked me what I thought...what impact will this have on her weight gain if she is jaundice?

God I am so desperate for this bf to work. In-between my 2 stressy days I have really been enjoying feeding her believe it or not!! Also when she has a bottle of formula, or expressed milk she is very sicky and hiccupy so I would like to avoid bottles if I can. She also took ages to settle last night after dh gave her a bottle. I'm really not afraid of the tiredness factor of bf but I won't be able to bear it if she continues to gain so slowly. Feel so stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment!