Hi everyone
Really struggling here with 11yr DS who keeps getting into trouble at school for silly behaviour
The school keep calling us, and I am scared that he may head to exclusion
School is strict catholic boys school who are strict re behaviour
I cannot believe that I am having to consider this but I am scared that he may end up in trouble without a radical change
We have little support in the UK and don't want to have him labelled as having ADHD etc as don't think the diagnosis will make much of difference
My family have an African background and wander whether a different context, less worries about racism etc will be a factor
So have you ever been in this position, had this happen to you and did it work?
I am thinking of having DS return ahead of 6th form if behaviour has improved
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Sending misbehaving child back home for secondary school
Tobaiass22 · 23/11/2022 17:18
wannabeamummysobad · 23/11/2022 22:27
@Tobaiass22 I was taken "back home" to Nigeria when I was in year 8. It's hard to say if it worked - I achieved great grades, moved back to the U.K. for A-Levels then off to a RG university before becoming a chartered accountant so in that sense it worked. However, though I joke about it I harboured a little resentment for my mum and her decision. Don't get me wrong I had some great experiences out there (I went to boarding school and had family over there visit regularly) but depending on the school you choose and to be fair even in the best school environment there will be more day today stress than over here.
@Edmontine My mum took me back for a summer holiday- all was normal (we did this most summers) then as my return to school/U.K. day arrived she became dismissive. We went to "visit" somewhere then all of a sudden I was being handed a uniform, taken to a dormitory and watching my mum being driven away. Not sure if you know African culture but parents rule the roost. Kids don't get to decided. This was 20 years ago now but it definitely still happens
user9863233444446788 · 24/11/2022 05:21
Maybe I have this wrong but I want to protect my son and give him time to grow in an environment which will not label and condemn him whilst he is still young and likely to make mistakes
I doubt Nigeria is the place for this.
wannabeamummysobad · 24/11/2022 09:50
@user9863233444446788 apologies I interpreted your initial post as disparaging without first hand experience. My mistake
Snugglemonkey · 24/11/2022 05:28
I would never dream of sending my child anywhere away from me. Nit to boarding school here, no way to another country. I appreciate that there is a cultural difference, but if Nigeria was the best place for my son, the whole family would be going.
user9863233444446788 · 24/11/2022 17:04
I don't have first hand experience but that's by the by. People don't need to state their experience to give opinions.
wannabeamummysobad · 24/11/2022 09:50
@user9863233444446788 apologies I interpreted your initial post as disparaging without first hand experience. My mistake
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