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Due September thread 10 - On the downhill slope...

517 replies

Kiwifruit · 11/07/2005 21:06

Here's the new thread ladies - may it be as chatty as the last 9!!

OP posts:
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pooka · 01/08/2005 17:08

yay - link works!

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pooka · 01/08/2005 17:08

new thread here

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pooka · 01/08/2005 17:05

just making a link to thread 11

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bubbles2904 · 01/08/2005 16:39

me neither LOL

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jessysmummy · 01/08/2005 16:30

I would if I could but I'm technically inept so I can't...

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bubbles2904 · 01/08/2005 16:26

let's do it although we don't seem to be a very talkative bunch lately

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pooka · 01/08/2005 16:20

I'm totally with you Bubbles about work in that I'm pretty certain that I will go insane in about 6 months time. Hope to do some freelance for my current employer then. I thought I'd miss the cut and thrust of he office more than I have, but it helps that I seem so busy now and that dd is talking and more of a "person" than she was before I went back last time. Of course I loved her as a baby, but I find her so much more interesting now than when she was under a year old.
Should we start a new thread at some point, now we've gone over the 500 posts? I don't know why, but my competitive nature is kicking in, and I want the September crowd to have the most threads EVER!!!!!

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PiccadillyCircus · 01/08/2005 15:14

Don't seem to have posted on here for a while - took me rather a long time to read all the posts since I last posted .

I have finally started nesting. I have sorted out DS's old clothes and discovered that when he was very small, he had a LOT of babygros and vests. Possibly millions although when they have all been washed and dried I might count them and find out.

DH and I are spending today, Tuesday and Wednesday "getting more ready" for DD/DS2's arrival. DH is having an afternoon nap . But he knows that he has to work hard tomorrow and Wednesday.

I will be going back to work (I work part time as an accountant). I think about working for myself - I might do it in a couple of years' time possibly.

I also managed to not get anything at all from work on leaving - I have worked for my firm for 4.5 years, but recently moved departments (and offices). The result of this has been that my new department didn't get me anything as I'd only been there since the beginning of May, and my old department hasn't got me anything as I should think not many of them know that I've stopped work. I don't really mind, but wouldn't have said no to some sort of present, or at least a card.

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bubbles2904 · 01/08/2005 14:16

i wasn't trying to offend anyone with my comment about not working. i couldn't afford not to go back to work so it isn't really an issue for me, but if i was at home, it's a different kind of work, much harder but much more rewarding. i'm so sorry if anyone thought i meant that comment in a different way, i just meant that i'm not really a staying at home kind of person.
just been to see my friends son who was born on sunday, god i was emotional. he is beautiful. God i'm soooooo broody now.

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jessysmummy · 01/08/2005 14:05

I always find that I am much more tired after having spent a day at home/out and about with DD than a day at work in the office. Probably due to the fact that I'm relatively inactive at work and have to run around after DD while at home. I was quite ready to go back to bed at 10.30 both mornings this weekend, though didn't get the chance. know what you mean about going to the loo in peace, Pooka!

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pooka · 01/08/2005 13:57

I loved doing my 2 days a week at work when dd was 1 and my mat. leave ended. My mother looked after dd. it was like having 2 weekends in some respects - weekend No. 1 when dh was home with Lucy and me. Weekend No. 2 when I was at work and able to have lunch, talk to adults and go to the loo in private. I think staying at home is much harder in some respects than being at work, certainly in terms of sheer effort and your hours. But I do love it, especially now dd is such good company. And I really couldn't ask my mother to look after 2 children as I think she deserves to have more free time to herself, though of course she'll love having them on a more fluid and flexible basis.

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LadyLazarus · 01/08/2005 13:09

pooka - yeah Im just going to keep that money by (well, try to!) until next summer when I have to decide whether I'll go back or not. If I DO decide not to go back, I'll hopefully have the money handy. I am not keen, even on a different ward / hospital. The idea of staying at home with baby is far more appealing!

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bubbles2904 · 01/08/2005 12:54

wow, sometimes i wish i was a home person, but i love to go to work and get adult conversation for a few hours a day. my dp works from home so childcare isn't a problem for us, but we'd end up apart if i stayed at home too, we'd just wind each other up constantly.LOL it's only my second week off and it's doing my head in already. love him to bits though and wouldn't have him any other way.

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pooka · 01/08/2005 12:27

LadyL- because I'm pretty certain I wont be returning to work I have asked for my OMP to be withheld until I have been back at work for 3 months. That way, if I don't go back, I've lost nothing and if I do, I get a lovely lump sum 3 months later. I thought it would jsut be too much hassle working out what to put aside each month to be paid back eventually, particularly taking into account tax, pension, etc.
Still wont be returning, though!

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Boompi · 01/08/2005 12:01

LadyL - admire your actually doing something about your dreams! To be honest the registrar I saw on fri didnt seem to understand my notes and not sure if any indication for a growth scan really but I am not going to refuse it. Especially so close to the big day! She also didnt say why they thought it was big - may be my sudden weight gain though. First really rude professinal Ive met so far though as all mw's, consultant and SHO have been really helpful -Admit being in the profession may help at times! At least it makes the SHOs anxious!!
BTW - have put on same weight as you LadyL.

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LadyLazarus · 01/08/2005 11:13

Jessysmummy - yes that's the caring, sharing face of nursing in the NHS! I think perhaps it's just the ward I was on, as other places have been much more friendly, my ward was a bit bitchy and cliquey. Best off out of it!!

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jessysmummy · 01/08/2005 11:05

oooh, forgot to say - redhelen - get in touch with your payroll dept. Surely they can backdate your holiday pay and adjust your starting date for mat pay? Every penny counts. I had this problem 18 months ago when I was on mat leave with DD. Took a while to sort out but got there in the end.

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jessysmummy · 01/08/2005 10:58

Good morning all!
Thanks for all the sympathy about DH going away. It's nice to know that I'm not being unreasonably upset. And sympathy to anyone else who's DH/DP are going away. STM - you must be thinking "Don't know what she's moaning about - at least she's got a man!" Turns out that there are redundancies on the cards at DH's company so it's even more important that he is seen to be accommodating when asked to go on training. SO looks like he's definitely going. Fortunately my DPs live about half an hour away so I know I won't be completely abandoned.
Mummyhill - don't think anything else could possibly go wrong for you. It's definitely time for you to have some good news...and the pitter patter of tiny feet has got to be good news for you and all your family.
LadyL - can;t believe that not only did your colleagues not get you a card or gift but you had to provide your own leaving food?????? How mean. I hope it choked them! Maybe you could write a book on inconsiderate work colleagues?
Bubbles - some companies do pay more maternity pay than others. Mine though only pays the minimum - 6 weeks @ 90% and then £106 or 90% of pay (whichever is least) for 20 weeks.

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LadyLazarus · 01/08/2005 10:55

what's more annoying is that in my hospital's personnel pack for maternity pay, it says you have to pay the difference between the OMP and the SMP back... it'll be around £1100 but I think it might be worth shelling out for!!!

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KiwiKate · 01/08/2005 10:55

LL - I am a lawyer and a patent attorney (do things like register inventions & brand names, as well as a bit of court work when someone's brand gets infringed, advise people on how to stop someone using their brand name as a domain name etc). So from that point of view it has been easy for me to do work which generates an income. I can charge about one third of what big firms charge, and still do well out of it.

I have not missed formal employment at all. I get up early and work while DS is sleeping. DH works from home too. We all have a long drawn out breakfast together, then my mum (who lives closeby) takes DS away for music/gym and his afternoon nap etc. I work while DS is away with mum. They come back for dinner time and we all have the evening together. If I am really busy, I work while DS is sleeping in the evening too.

Some days I take time to take DS to the pool or playground (although energy has been a bit lacking lately). I try to do something fun with him at least every second day (the whole point of working from home was to spend more time with him than I would otherwise have). If the weather is good, sometimes DH takes an afternoon off and we go to the beach (but then we work most Saturdays). The difficult part is trying to get down to do the work (and finding time to market to bring the work in). Also there are no holidays as the clients might need me at any time.

I also do 9 weeks of law lecturing for a local college (spread throughout the year, with a maximum of two weeks at any one time - am actually in the middle of a two week stint right now).

I do not miss the politics or the working hours of a big law firm. Surprisingly, I don't miss the human interation either. I occassionally get to go and see clients, so I do have some contact. But the flexibility of being able to NOT work when DS is unwell has been wonderful. It was a huge risk to set up on my own, but has been well worth it. Financially it is not quite as rewarding, but I factor in that I don't have to buy smart office clothes, no travel costs (and a saving of 2 hours a day that I used to waste commuting), no stress (other than that I place on myself). Of course the income fluctuates, but having an office in my own home means I have low overheads so if I don't do well some months, it is not the end of the world.

I decided to give it a go and not be too stressed if it did not work (I could always have got another job in a law firm at a later stage if I needed to). But the incentive of knowing that I will be able to spend time with my family if I do a particular work task, means that I am pretty productive when I do work. The transition into my own business felt like the most natural thing in the world. My only regret has been that I didn't do it sooner.

BTW my dream has always been to write novels, but I've never managed to finish any, and now with this business it might be years before I have another go. I really admire your drive for getting down to it! All the best with it. If you are able to work from home, and it suits your personality and your circumstances, then I can realy recommend it. (And if it does not work out you can always go back to working at a later stage)

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bubbles2904 · 01/08/2005 10:12

i think it's awful that they could let you just leave like that. i've been in my job for just over 4 years and love it, i can't wait to return, as i have a lot of good friends there. i thought the maternity pay was full wages for 6 weeks then 90% or £105 for the last 20 weeks????? i guess i'm wrong though. my memory is mush at the moment. i went to the shop specifically for eggs so me and dd could make some cakes, i came home without them, had to go back and then left them on the counter. dd was running behind me saying "mummy, your eggs, you've forgot your eggs". it was quite funny but i was so embarassed, even the guy in the shop was laughing at me.

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LadyLazarus · 01/08/2005 09:10

Bubbles - I doubt very much if the people at work are planning a nice surprise like you said, I don't live anywhere near any of them or the hospital where I worked, and don't keep in touch with them either... just have to put it down to experience

KiwiKate - what sort of work have you been doing from home? have you found the transition easy?

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Redhelen · 31/07/2005 20:56

KiwiKate - my word your old company sound even worse than mine! - I work for a self made woman -who is one of the top 100 wealthy women in the uk - and buys her clothes from charity shops - so you can imagine we always have to fight for our full pay!

I really fancy working from home - I may see if any of my old contacts could use any print and design support - or I may become dell girl trading on ebay!! Night night - it's ice cream time!!!

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KiwiKate · 31/07/2005 20:48

Redhelen, when I left work preg with DS1, I didn't get a pressie or card or even a morning tea (I had been there 6 and a half years). I did not get any surprises after DS was born either, but was asked urgently to come back when DS was just 2 m.o. because my boss was unexpectedly ill for a whole month. AND (I still can't believe it) they did not want to pay me for that work because it was "such an unbelievable opportunity for me to lead the team". Needless to say I insisted on being paid, and I quit when the crisis was over. I am now very fortunate to be able to work from home, which means I've been able to spend lots of time with DS. And I have a lovely supportive mum who looks after DS when work is really busy (but even then we usually have our meals together as she brings him back for lunch). Also I've been working a lot in the evenings so that I can have some free time in the day with DS.

Of course, working from home has its special challanges, but I highly recommend giving it a try if it is something you are keen to do. My view was to give it a go, and if it did not work out I could always look for another job at a later stage.

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Redhelen · 31/07/2005 20:46

I finished work at the end of June (severe anaemia had made me a zombie!)- but was told I would be paid 3 weeks on Annual leave first before I went onto 6 weeks of 90% of my pay and then 20 weeks at £106! However they seem to have forgoten about the annual leave and that will make a few hundred pounds difference over the coming 6 months - and I've already spent it!!!!

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