*URGENT How do we explain that I am going to die.*

[NIght]

I have a brain tumour and have recently been told I have months and not years to live. My main concern is now for my family. I have a 3 1/2 year old beautiful boy. Can anyone please help with advise for my husband and I. What on earth do we do to make this easier on a little boy? Also I am trying to write a letter to my husband, but finding it difficult to find the words. Can anyone suggest any reading material or farewell peoms?

[Whiskey]

NIght

I was want to say I really admire you for accepting it and making the most of the time and not just sitting there thinking why, which I guess would be so easy to do.

Your little boy will never forget you.

Hope you fulfill your dreams

X

[kerfuffle]

Night I just wanted to send my thoughts to you and say that your ds will always know that you are there to comfort him. A day doesn't go by when I don't think about my mother, she is the rock that keeps me stable through life.You will always be the rock for your ds too, I'm sure. He will never forget you no matter how young he is.

[charleepeters]

Night im afraid i am another with no help but i just wanted to say how amazing you are coping with this and thinking of your family you seem so strong and i would like you to know you will be in all our thoughts and so will you family. i do think you should write a diary for you ds to have when hes older with pictures and descriptions of you two together to let him know how much you love him and maybe put in there how even if you are not there in body you will always be with him and you will always love him. as for your dh im sure if you just say whats in your heart it will be great im sure he will always love you no matter what. thins is a great tradedy and im sorry for you and your family you are in my prayers xxx

[swedishmum]

AnnainManchester - we had that poem at the funeral of one of our twins. It's a beautiful choice.

[Gillian76]

Night, I am deeply saddened by your news. My thoughts are with you and your family. My aunt died recently aged 39, leaving two DDs aged 10 and 12. Words mean nothing at a time like this

If you are looking for a book to share with your sons, "Badger's Parting Gifts" is beautiful.

Here's the info from the Winston's Wish website:

Badger?s Parting Gifts By Susan Varley, 1992
Picture Lions, ISBN: 0006643175

Badger is old and knows he is going to die soon. When he does, the other animals think they will be sad forever, but they begin to talk about the memories they have of the things Badger taught them and learn to cope with his death. A lovely picture book that emphasises the importance of remembering the person who has died.

God bless you all.

[AnnaInManchester]

Night, I am so very sorry to hear of your news. Just as the others have said, make as many memories for your baby boy as possible so he will always remember his dear mummy.

My heart is with u and all your family.

I always loved this poem at school. Maybe you could leave it for a grown up, rather than your son.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Also take a look at the site www.netdoctor.co.uk/health_advice/facts/death.htm

It talk about how to prepare your children for a possible death and how they can cope best with it.

Please let us all know how you are getting on.

[expatkat]

Night, I'm incredibly sorry & humbled to hear of your situation.

I'm in the US and I have a friend here who has months to live because of breast cancer that's metastatized. Like you, she has a 3.5-year-old. My friend has been putting together photo albums and videos for her little girl, but she's put most of her energy into (1) reading constantly to her little girl, despite her physical exhaustion, in order to build lasting memories and spend as much time as possible with her daughter and (2) buying a book for every year of her little girl's life, up to the age 30 or so. Some of the books will contain letters she's written to her little girl, letters that will be appropriate/meaningful at various stages of her daughter's life. . . .If you wanted to do something similar, and get your son a book for each year of his life, I'm sure you could post a query on mumsnet for recommendations if you felt stuck for ideas.

[SPARKLER1]

Night - really wanted to post on here. I have typed loads of stuff and deleted it as it just didn't sound right. Really hard to choose the right words. Basically, just want to tell you that I am thinking of you and your family and am here to listen if ever you need. xxxx

[JanH]

Night, I hope you will be back again soon. Many Happy Returns was in the Guardian today, about a dying father leaving letters for his 3-yr-old son, to be opened when he was 13, 18 and 19 (he couldn't quite stretch to 21 in his mind by the sound of it). It doesn't say what the letters said but it is a very very moving piece. Hope it helps.

[eemie]

My dd is six and she still gets intense pleasure from stories about what she did when she was a baby and even in the womb (like when she had hiccups before she was born) ; the first time she did things; stories about her learning to toddle and going 'splat', about her first words etc. I'm sure if you record yourself telling your son all these stories he will still be listening to it with pleasure when he is quite a big boy.

You could choose, maybe even buy and wrap up, some of the books and CDs you'd like him to read later - maybe tape yourself reading a favourite children's book of your own so that he can hear it from you when he's old enough.

Sorry for what you are going through.

[feelingdown]

night, just had to post just wanted to send you hugs for you and your family your so brave! memories box is a fab idea and lots of photos for him and your dp to remember a obviously couragous wonderful lady! god bless you take care, sending you love and lots of thoughts, take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[HellKat]

I don't know you, but you are so very brave. It's an unbelievably dificult and sad situation and you're handling it with fantastic dignity. My family's thoughts are with you and your family. Take care and bless you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[chocolatequeen]

Im so sorry this has happened to you. God bless.

[Louise1980]

Hi Night,
Just thought Id post this so you know we are still thinking of you.

Hope you are coping ok

[oatcake]

good to hear from you NIght.

[Marshmellow]

Night - i have just read this thread and am here in tears. I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through. I have no advice and can't even think of anything to say but you will be in my prayers.xxx

[FIMAC1]

NIght - did you contact Winstons Wish? they give advice on leaving boxes of memories etc - they help the whole family with the grieving process

You and you family are in our thoughts

[noddyholder]

what happened to all the messages?

[NIght]

So many messages! Thank you.

I've been spending alot of my time putting together some photos, letters, special cards etc.

Now it's time spend some quality time with my boys.

I will say good night for now.