Dad

[Shocked71]

My dad is in his 80s. He’s got health issues but has always been quite robust. A few weeks ago he suddenly became unwell and I took him to A&E. He was diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer. It’s aggressive and it’s already spread. He’s now in a nursing home, on morphine, bone thin and not eating. I think the end is near. I’m shell shocked at how quickly this has happened. He’s fully aware of what’s happening and it’s so cruel. I’m not completely naive. I lost my mum to cancer but I’m shaken to the core at how quickly this thing has got him.

Don’t feel guilty, he’s probably had it a while but plodded on. Take care of yourself 💐

I‘m so sorry you poor dad is so unwell.
My 81 year old mum has had dementia for 8 years. A few weeks ago dad spotted a small cyst like lump on her breast. Turns out to be advanced breast cancer. It’s such a shock when it comes from
nowhere isn’t it?
Wishing you and your dad all the best 💐

This sounds awful. One way to go about it is to front up, and say something like 'Dad, I'm really sorry this has happened, it's a bloody shame. Let's see what we can make of the next phase/few weeks, shall we? Then we'll take it from there.' Grasp the nettle, give it a bit of welly.

Play some music on the speakers from your laptop or phone, the old favourites. See if you can mark up any photo albums with the smart phone recording - factor in how tactless or heartbreaking this might be - but otherwise you may be left - as I was - with a drawer of photos that may as well belong to another family.

I lost my Dad last October. We had years to prepare - latterly my sister and me were full-time carers in the family home. And even then there is always some awful aspect to it, something that hits you, or creeps up on you and then hits you. You have my every sympathy.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I knew overall that time was limited with dad, he’s 82 after all. But it’s how quickly it’s taken hold that’s just so shocking. Last week he was still quite vocal, now he’s just sleeping, waking up occasionally for a few minutes here and there. Sorry to everyone who is going/has gone through something like this. It’s absolutely horrendous.