Feeling bereft at selling family home

[Boredwiththinkingofanotherusername]

DPs lived in the same house forever - my siblings were all born there (but now live overseas). Sadly DPs both died in the last 5 years and I've been dealing with probate/solicitors as I'm the nearest executor. We now have a buyer for our family home, but I keep feeling overwhelmed at the thought of letting the house go, even though none of us want to live in it and it absolutely needs to be sold. It's the end of an era/ final goodbye to loving DPs, and I keep dreaming about it. I feel more bereft now than when our DPs died. I know rationally that some other family will love to make the house their own home and give it the TLC it deserves, but can't seem to make that mental move forward. Part of it is maybe the increasing realisation that the glue that held our sibling relationships together is no longer there of course; we are no longer close as we each have our own lives and young families. How did others in a similar position find peace with the change, let go and move forward?

[Wishthiswasntthecase]

Just letting you know you’re not alone. Tomorrow I have to oversee the house clearance of my parents home. I know it’s going to break me. It’s the final ending. They both died within 9 months of each other so it’s all been quick. I’m sending their wedding furniture to the charity shop and it feels so final.

[Comfysock]

Not alone OP waiting on probate to sell family home. My brother lived with our Dad and looked after him in his ill years, so he will have to buy his own home so very hard for him. Far too big for 1 person and Will says for house to be sold and proceeds split. It's breaking me, if I was 15-20 years younger I would buy and live in it. Im dreading the day I turn the lock for the last time. I will never drive past it again once sold. An end of an era. I miss him so much.

[Boredwiththinkingofanotherusername]

Thanks for your PPs - it feels reassuring that I'm not alone. I had a chat late yesterday with our solicitor's lovely assistant about some queries from the buyer. I think she could tell I was getting a bit choked up at one point (stupid I know) and said "Don't forget a house is not a family, people are". And I think thats on point. Maybe my real angst may be as much about the lack of glue/loyalty in the family nowadays (and behaviour from one sibling in particular during probate), compared with how we all were when we were all together living in that home, rather than actually handing over the keys to the house.

[Boredwiththinkingofanotherusername]

@Comfysock

Not alone OP waiting on probate to sell family home. My brother lived with our Dad and looked after him in his ill years, so he will have to buy his own home so very hard for him. Far too big for 1 person and Will says for house to be sold and proceeds split. It's breaking me, if I was 15-20 years younger I would buy and live in it. Im dreading the day I turn the lock for the last time. I will never drive past it again once sold. An end of an era. I miss him so much.

@Comfysock hope it all goes well for you today and you can raise a glass to your dear DPs when it's all complete.

[Comfysock]

@Boredwiththinkingofanotherusername I think you're right...it's the glue. My Dad was the head of our family and so well respected, I know I havent even begun grieving.

[FiveShelties]

I lost my Mum last year and had to clear and sell her home, my Dad died in 2017. I was dreading clearing the house and selling it. It was tough clearing it, but when it was empty it was just a house. The memories are with me and the house is now lived in by another family.

I am sorry you are facing this, it is tough to lose a parent. Take care of yourself.

[UtterlyOtterly]

What helped with selling my family home is that it went to a couple who had huge plans for it and were so excited. They were friends of friends, it seemed right to pass the house on to them.

It has gone from being the home of a very elderly, unwell and rather sad person to a vibrant place with small children running round again. I have visited a few times and can almost feel my mum smiling and enjoying the noise and chaos of a young family all over again.

Last time I visited one of the children was fascinated to hear their bedroom had been my bedroom too, and asked me all about it.

[Comfysock]

@UtterlyOtterly

What helped with selling my family home is that it went to a couple who had huge plans for it and were so excited. They were friends of friends, it seemed right to pass the house on to them.

It has gone from being the home of a very elderly, unwell and rather sad person to a vibrant place with small children running round again. I have visited a few times and can almost feel my mum smiling and enjoying the noise and chaos of a young family all over again.

Last time I visited one of the children was fascinated to hear their bedroom had been my bedroom too, and asked me all about it.

I love this 🥹 estate agents took pics today, will go on the market soon.

[Peckhampalace]

I talked to my cousin about this after her family home was sold. She said it was the memory of the house and their lives that mattered and nothing took those away.