Weird to send flowers on anniversary of death?

[Friarclose]

A close friend of mine lost her mum a year ago next week. I was thinking to send her some flowers/chocolate on the day to give her a boost. Is that weird? Or nice?

[Mementomorissons]

Not weird and definitely nice

[Echobelly]

No I think that's lovely and thoughtful

[Moveoverdarlin]

That’s really thoughtful.

[msbevvy]

It depends if she makes a big thing of it or not.

I choose not to take note of the date of people's deaths as it just brings extra distress. I think about them every day anyway and the date on a calendar doesn't change the situation. Being sent flowers etc would probably only serve to bring my grief to the forefront again.

I realise that other people behave completely differently and find your gesture comforting. Just make sure that is true in her case before sending anything.

[WandaWonder]

Some people want to mark it some people don't but only you know this person

[2031MummyTBC]

Maybe stop by with an indoor plant? I think some people feel emotional when flowers die (and are associated with funerals). Plants are a more positive symbol as they grow and flourish.

I wouldn't mind flowers myself, but a plant is more likely to make me smile on the anniversary of a loved ones death.

[mrsbyers]

Has she got a garden? Maybe something like a rose bush would be nice and something she can plant in memory of her mum

[Soontobe60]

It was the anniversary of my mums death two days ago. Not one friend acknowledged this. Even though logically why would they remember my mums death, it oddly upset me that no one acknowledged it.

[Nextbitoflife]

Yeah no. Anniversary of my husbands death yesterday and I would def not have wanted flowers. Don’t even like texts saying thinking about you tbh. Although I know well meaning. Remember birthdays, positive dates. But that’s just me.

[CheeseWisely]

A lovely thought but it depends on her, which you'll know best. I couldn't tell you the anniversary of the death of any loved ones as I've almost deliberately not remembered. I prefer to think of them with happy memories on their birthdays etc.

[GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut]

I think it's quite a tricky thing to mark, in a way that's not potentially overstepping, if you're not one of the bereaved friends and relations.

I know some people remember and - not celebrate, but I can't think of the right word - anniversaries of loved one's deaths, but I'm someone who doesn't. I think it's quite a risky thing to do on the first anniversary unless she has other anniversaries that you know she marks in some way.

I actually don't know the dates of death of my loved ones who have died, and I would be very off put by someone remembering and sending me flowers. It would feel intrusive and a bit like they'd think I'm not 'doing grief right' if they knew it's not a day of significance to me at all, if that makes sense.

It would also bring my thoughts to the person's death, in quite an abrupt way, when in all likelyhood I'd not be thinking about it right then. I tend to think of people on their birthdays - and they're happy thoughts of past celebrations - or the usual day to day thoughts, but I don't want to specifically think about people's actual death.

I've also seen posts on here from people who don't like flowers in these situations because it reminds them of the bouquets they got at the time, or the funeral flowers.

[ShanghaiDiva]

depends on the person. I sent flowers to my mum every year on the anniversary of my dad’s death. it was important to her to mark the occasion.
The anniversary is Monday and this year there will be no flowers as my mum died last month.

[WearyAuldWumman]

@Nextbitoflife

Yeah no. Anniversary of my husbands death yesterday and I would def not have wanted flowers. Don’t even like texts saying thinking about you tbh. Although I know well meaning. Remember birthdays, positive dates. But that’s just me.

When my husband died three years ago, I was sent so many flowers that I ran out of space for them. I hated the sight of them.

[SmashedPrawnsInAMilkyBasket]

I considered this for my friend, but send them annually on her late husband’s birthday instead. She takes some of the bouquet to put on his memorial stone, so they share them. Much better to mark a positive occasion, I think.

[Arrestedforit]

Thoughtful and a very kind thing to do.

[Fulshaw]

I send my friend flowers on her moms birthday. I think that’s a bit nicer than the anniversary of her death.

[Growlybear83]

It's just coming up to the second anniversary of my mum's death and whilst I find her birthday and the anniversary of her death incredibly difficult, I wouldn't expect anyone else apart from my daughter and maybe my sister in law to remember. I assume they will both message me at some point during the day but I would think it was very odd if any of my friends sent me flowers or chocolates, and I think it would be a bit intrusive. .

[Iloveyoubut]

A friend of mine done this for me and I can’t tell you how much it meant to me. What a lovely friend you are.

[DillDanding]

I used to send my friend flowers to say I was thinking of her on the anniversary of her mum’s death (I was very close to her mum). I did it for maybe 3 years. Nice thing to do.

[BarrelOfOtters]

For the first few years after my friend's mum passed away I kind of made sure she was always doing something, so would invite her round for tea or to go for a walk or something so she wasn't sat on her own. Now I'll acknowledge it if I see her that day or am emailing her.

It's a really nice idea, not weird.

We had a family bereavement, my husband's son passed away just before Christmas and people are still aware of it and it's nice when they acknowledge it.

[mrssunshinexxx]

From someone whose lost their mum id love this