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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

I talked to mum this morning. She was gone this afternoon.

215 replies

Darkpheonix · 02/12/2021 19:39

Hi, I don't know why I am posting. My kids are devastated, dp doesn't know what to say.

She was fine til a few weeks ago. We booked theatre tickets to her favourite show for next year. Then she struggled to breath and go diagnosed with asthma.

Today, I spoke to her. She had opened door number 2 on the Advent calendar I got her. It was a conditioner. She was going to wash her hair and use it.

Before she got to the shower, she couldn't breathe. Dad got her inhaler but it didn't help and he called an ambulance. They arrived quickly, she collapsed and stopped breathing and they couldn't get her back.

I walked into their house and she was gone. She was in bed, the ambulance people still there.

I have had to phone family. Dad is worrying that she had a hair appointment booked and I can't get hold of her hair dresser to cancel.

Dad's broken. I am just sat feeling numb. I should be in pain and know it will probably come. But I don't want it to. I want to be numb forever.

I keep getting upset over the Advent calendar that will remain unopened from today. It was meant for her to treat herself. To pamper herself. And now it's just there.

I don't know what to do. I don't how she was here and then she wasn't. I miss her already.

OP posts:

Report

lynntheyresexpeople · 03/12/2021 00:41

The pain in this post is absolutely heartbreaking. Op I am so so sorry

sarahtalkstoomuch · 03/12/2021 00:27

So sorry for your loss. The photo of her is lovely. She looks glam and fun. I hope you can find some comfort in your memories, one day xxx

Babyroobs · 03/12/2021 00:03

So sorry to read this op. I lost my mum very suddenly too. The pain never goes way but does get a bit easier with time.

Pottymouth83 · 02/12/2021 23:57

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I’ve also just lost someone very suddenly and tragically and I am full of regret for not doing more for them in their last few months. Please take comfort in the all those nice things you did for her - the theatre tickets, the advent calendar - she was clearly loved and surely felt that.

Tinsellittis · 02/12/2021 23:49

So very sorry for the loss of your beloved Mum

Darkpheonix · 02/12/2021 23:46

I am just telling do how 2 years running she hired proper actor to come to her house and play Santa Claus. Costing hundreds of pounds. Just for the grandkids.

Her and dad turned the extension into a replica of a carriage of polar express and had a whole afternoon with the kids doi f activities and watching films.

The youngest grandchild hated (and still does) Santa claus. so she stopped doing.

OP posts:

HailAdrian · 02/12/2021 23:42

I'm so so sorry, what a shock.

wlv12 · 02/12/2021 23:40

I’m so deeply sorry, OP.
There is no right or wrong right now, just whatever gets you though

Mamanyt · 02/12/2021 23:40

Fair winds and following seas, Dear Lady, fair winds and following seas.

I am so, so sorry. I am hugging you in my heart from across the "vasty deep."

GodspeedJune · 02/12/2021 23:27

So sorry for the loss of your wonderful Mum

tricky29 · 02/12/2021 23:26

I’mso sorry you’ve lost your Mum. I hope you have people that you can lean on who will look after you. And post here if you want to talk to people you don’t know ❤️

sarah13xx · 02/12/2021 23:25

Aww god, sending all my love. What an awful day for you, you are in my thoughts 😢

OldTinHat · 02/12/2021 23:23

There are no magical words to comfort you with but I'm so very, very sorry for your loss

PurpleSneakers · 02/12/2021 23:20

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mum X. I was shocked to the core when I lost my mum in 2016 and still miss her so much (and we did have our falling outs too). Please take care of yourself well during this time. The only thing that I though helped slightly in the early days was sleeping as much as I could. My heart goes out to you and your family

HastySlander · 02/12/2021 23:17

Your mum is beautiful op 💖 I’m so sorry you’re going through this. She sounds like the most incredible
woman, I know a little of what you are going through. My dad was ill but then suddenly died less than 24 hours after I had seen him. It was a blessing but also such a shock. Look after yourself

KissKissButtCheek · 02/12/2021 23:15

OP this has made me tear up so much, I can feel your pain in your words, you sound so confused and numb.
I am so so sorry, I have no words of wisdom i' afraid, just deep sorrow for your loss x

GaslighterDenier · 02/12/2021 23:14

So sorry for your loss. Your mum looks so kind in that beautiful picture

MB58 · 02/12/2021 23:13

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. My thoughts are with you and the whole family, so sad

HeronLanyon · 02/12/2021 23:11

Oh op I am so so sorry.
I lost my own lovely Ma similarly and the shock was just I describable. Crept up in me over a few weeks.
Sending support to you and your family and your poor dad who needs you.
The advent calendar - sometime i think it will bring you some comfort that you gave her that.
When I walked into my mums house I found my birthday card written ready to put in the post and I cry good loving ‘missing mum’ tears when I think of it but love that she loved me right to the very end.
it’s tough but I promise you, so are we. You will be ok and she would want nothing more than that.
She looks so lovely.

vinoandbrie · 02/12/2021 23:08

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing about your mum, what a lovely, vivid idea I have of her now in my mind, and that photo, utterly gorgeous!

Sending strength for the hours and days ahead. Be very gentle with yourself. I’m so sorry this has happened.

GladysNarracott · 02/12/2021 23:06

So sorry OP

DutifulDaughterWifeMother · 02/12/2021 23:05

Hi Op, firstly I would like to give you my sincerest condolences. Your mother sounds like she was an amazing mother and a fabulous nan. I lost my sibling to Covid a few weeks ago & I just feel like I am still in shock & just about functioning. I don’t know how to process the loss of a loved one but I am sending you all my strength for however long you need it. If you need time for yourself take it, you will need it after you will have spent so long looking after your children, your dear father. Remember you can only do so much and you must look after your mental health. If you ever want to talk or just to rant pls get in touch. You & your family will be in my thoughts & prayers xx

Phoenix76 · 02/12/2021 23:04

Oh op, I’m so very sorry. You were clearly as an amazing daughter as she was an amazing mum. It really is a taking one second, minute, hour at a time situation here. Please look after yourself, no pressure for anything, sending massive hugs.

Googleboxfan · 02/12/2021 23:03

I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you xxxx

Panda8383 · 02/12/2021 23:03

Your mum is beautiful ❤️ X

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