First mc don't know what to expect (sweetkitty)

[sweetkitty]

Have no internet access just now (on DPs dial up work laptop) really really missing mumsnet right now.

Also can't post a message on the Due in March 08 thread and I know the girls will be wondering what's happened to me.

Am 8 weeks pregnant with DB3 last Thursday had a slight brownish bleed but it was hardly anything so wasn't that worried. Had a scan yesterday and the baby and sac were only measuring 6 weeks and she couldn't see a heartbeat she kept asking me if my dates were right but I had a BFP 4 days before AF was due so dates are spot on. She booked me in for a scan next Thursday but she wasn't too hopeful apparently the sac didn't look right either. I've had a slight bleed tonight but it's not heavy.

I don't know what to expect? How long will the bleeding last? How will I know it's all gone? Will it hurt? Do I have to tell the hospital?

My head is so messed up I feel so lucky to have the DDs and it's only my 1st one I know so many on here have had several. It's so horrible and unfair.h

[Dinosaur]

sweetkitty - sorry I've only just seen this - I'm sorry, mate

How are you feeling now?

[pixiella]

sorry - i missed your message explaining what happened....all that advice you don't need now i guess..and im sorry you don't have support from your family! if i lived near you i'd come and babysit your kids!...sounds like you need some help lovely. keep strong...after all the bleeding and stuff is over i felt kinda numb..and felt like having sex and felt pretty normal but then a few weeks on it sorta started to all come up (the emotion..feeling weird bout sex) because i guess i felt numb at first and was repressing it and started doing normal stuff too soon after. get your partner to take the kids out for a day if he can on the wknd and have a day of bath, crying, thinking, mourning your baby properly. you need it, the time for yourself to say goodbye to your baby.
im so sorry again...xxxxxx

[pixiella]

I'm so sorry sweet...I had my first miscarriage 4 months ago and I was terrified! : (
A miscarriage is different for everyone but I was 9 weeks but it's possible the baby stopped growing earlier and it was painful - I started bleeding at home, v. light for about 3 days but then it got much heavier like a heavy period and much more painful, i couldn't really move - like the strongest period pains ever (at this point I had gone to A&E cos I wanted pain relief it was so bad and I didn't know what to expect or whether it was normal! (please bear in mind i am a bit of a whimp anyway and u've been through childbirth so will prob be diff for u if it happens..)
People say that the contractions of the womb are a bit like early labour ones...and by the time i got to hospital they were pretty regular like every 30secs/1min and i thought they were flipping excruciating !
Anyway...if you go into hospital they'll prob give u morphine like they did for me....it's helps - alot! then they'll do a scan to see if 'it's all gone' and if not they'll give you options for letting it come out naturally or having a small operation.
it probably would be best to keep hospital informed of any changes if you'd rather stay at home and obv. will have to go in for scan and stuff. but at hospital they have pain relief which is a big bonus! downside is at night you're on ur own : (

You can stay at home but i chose to go to hospital cos the pain was really bad for me and i wasn't sure what was going on really - alot of the time the drs kept saying i'd be fine and prob wasn't having a m/c ! sob's... : ( but i was - complete miscarriage which means that my womb was empty and my cervix was closed so it was all finished with and nothing further needed to be done.

Bleeding carried on for like 2 weeks before it completely went and cycle returned to quite regular almost immediately but some women's don't.

If you don't know what to expect and you're worried and you get really bad bleeding/pain then go to A&E and they'll take u in then transfer u to a women's ward.

Make sure you get all the care you need sweety. it's going to be hard but you will get through it just take loads of time for yourself and rest. xxxx loads of love

if u want to talk through ur experience with me then contact me sweet

[Toothache]

Aw Sweetkitty, so sorry you've had to go through this.

[Jackstini]

Hi Mcchesers, I was also on the March thread with you, had mmc, waited to no avail and I had my evac yesterday. It is a wierd time isn't it?
ust wanted to say so sorry to hear you went through this too

[mcchesers]

Hey SK. I'm the other Glasgow lady from the March thread. I've been watching your story unfold and sadly... quite literally.. have been right there with you hon. I was a first time PG due right about the same time as you were and had a mmc at about 6 weeks too.
I had opted for the natural course and waited it out hoping everything would pass, but after three weeks of sitting on the couch nothing happened. I had the all day medical evac in the southern gen last tuesday and while it was a nightmare..the nurses and my DH were amazing.

My heart is still pretty broken but we managed to get through the worst of it in time for me to fly back to the states to see my mom and family last week. Send me a message..I'm just in south glasgow and would be happy to help you out if you need a break. I'm not working right now so honestly just send me a PM and I'll come round and give you a hand pr if you just want to meet for coffee that's ok too. I'm close by.

Big Hugs!!

[Chuffed]

sweetkitty - hugs and thoughts to you! Don't feel bad about moaning it didn't mean you didn't want this one any less, we know on the Jan thread how important it was and how nervous you were about the SPD etc.

Take care of yourself, are there any charities that could provide some relief from dd's so you can get a pamper of some kind?

This bubs is now your little angel that can watch over you!

[HeyThereGeorgieGirl]

Hey SK. Just read WWTWTA post and seen that she's seen your thread. Just wanted to say how sorry I am. Sending big hugs. I had a mc at 10 weeks before DD1. It's pants and horrible and you feel like poo. But you do get over it. Allow yourself to do whatever feels right. Shout, rant, rave or sit in silence. Whatever works for you to get you through this dreadul time. Take care of yourself.

[psychologist]

Hi sweetkitty
I've had 2 miscarriages now which sound very similar to yours. Even though it was very early each time the first one, before we were lucky enough to have our son, left me low for months. I would start crying at the drop of a hat, couldn't laugh, stopped singing in car to work. Last time had 3 scans before they were sure enough to do a D and C. My friend has also had two but also two babies as well. But the doubt and heartache afterwards I will never forget. I will hope and hope for you next time.Don't do as I did and search internet for miscarriage info though, I made myself much worse, mumsnet and some other sites offer support but some information sites can scare you and you don't need that, its scary enough.

[scully]

Just wanted to say I understand how you're feeling Sweetkitty, I miscarried no3 1.5wks ago, complete surprise at 12wks. We hadn't told anyone apart from 2 friends so are just coping on our own, so don't have the family expectations. ddd1 is 5 so we are very glad we had kept it quiet, she would have found it very hard to deal with the news. Tbh we probably prefer it that way, I think I would find it hard having to talk to people about how I feel.
We don't know if we're going to try again, have you though about that at all?

[iris66]

Oh Sweetkitty I'm so very sorry for your loss (((((((hugs)))))))) I just stumbled accross the thread and don't know what to say, except that I hope you're feeling a little better now and that you're getting plenty of help with the girls. love and light to you all x

[MsG]

Hi Sweetkitty, just seen this thread and I am really sorry to hear about this. I just wanted to say try not to feel guilty about having moaned - I was exactly the same, moaning about the nausea and I have OCD too which worsened... I was on the phone to my mum nearly every day feeling sorry for myself and all tearful. At times I felt I didn't want to be pregnant if that's how hard it was going to be. It's bound to make us feel a bit guilty but there's really no reason to - it's totally natural to moan at the unpleasant side effects of pregnancy, and they can be worse for some people too.

Hope you feel better soon - has the bleeding stopped yet?

Like Ellie, it took me a while to feel myself again and I was really unstable for quite a while. I do feel much better now (my m/c started on June 19th) although of course it is still on my mind often.

Take good care of yourself and use this site when you need to - it really helps me and the people are so lovely.

xxx

[EllieG]

Sweetkitty - so sorry for your loss hon. MC is a horrid time, which can take you completely by surprise at how much it takes out of you. physically and emotionally, so don't push yourself right now, or beat yourself up for feeling what you're feeling. Took me a while to feel stable after mine, best advice is to be with people who will let you feel how you want to, and support you, and please be good to yourself and rest. x

[sweetkitty]

hi I got a new pc today so am just trying to catch up on everything wow the messages on here have me in floods of tears.

First the details, had the second scan last Thursday baby hadn't grown any and no heartbeat mc was confirmed was told to go home and consider what to do next ERPC or natural. Nature decided for me next day I started bleeding very heavy Sat/Sun/Mon Monday was very hard as I was on my own with the DDs all day (DP had work interview) I literally couldn't get off the sofa I was so weak, I have had 2 babies and it was nothing on the amount of blood and clots I lost. It has all tailed off now and am down to panty liners (sorry if TMI) hopefully it will stop in a day or two.

Emotionally it has been rough I feel so guilty having moaned constantly since finding out I was pregnant about the sickness, the SPD, looking after the DDs. The worst thing has been I have had no help from family could write a whole other thread on it but it has left me feeling so low and it's the straw that has broke the camels back where family are concerned. Anyway I digress I just wanted to let you all know how I was doing thank you all so much for your kind messages they have meant so much.

[glammarjoram]

sweetkitty. just seen this as my Pc was out of action for 10 days. I'm so sorry. I hope you're ok. Thinking of you.XX

[ladylush]

sorry to hear this sweetkitty How are things now? Did you have your 2nd scan yet?

[piekin]

sorry that you are going through a bad and scary time, thank you for all your love and reassurrance on the march thread, you were one of the most important posters for me re. experience and advice and I hope you might pop in when you feel ready, everyone thinking of you.xx

[barrelrider]

God SK I've just seen this, I am so so sorry. I hope you've had your questions answered - I expect by now you have. Chin up, thinking of you x

[lissie]

how are you doing SK?

[FoghornLeghorn]

Oh no Sweetkitty, I've only just seen this.
No advice - hope you are bearing up

x

[derah]

Oh Sweetkitty I'm so sorry! We've been together on the March thread almost from the beginning and you're one of the ladies I feel closest to. Please know I'm thinking of you and wish I could give you a huge hug. It's just so unfair!! Oh man, words just aren't enough are they?

[LoveAndSqualor]

sweetkitty, I'm so very sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you and all good wishes xx

[victoriagirl]

Hi sweetkitty
So sorry for your loss. I had a MMC in April at 10 1/2 wks. The thing that would have helped me is being warned that it might hurt quite a lot, you might get contractions type pains, that it can last for several days (bad pain- stayed in bed- for about 3 days for me, then it got easier), and the bleeding lasted for at least a week but obviously tailed off towards the end. But every MC is different and it might not be so painful for you or last as long. And it would be worth going back to the hospital after to check you have passed everything. If it is still there when you go next week, they will probably offer to surgically remove it. NHS Direct were brilliant with us if you are worried at any point over the next few days.
And yes- you're right it is horrid and terribly upsetting, but it also suprised me by how quickly really I came to terms with it (even though I was still sad) and if anything the whole process made my and my partner stronger.
Hope the next few days aren't too bad. Will be thinking of you.

[c4it]

Sweetkitty, I'm so sorry

[WinkyGirl]

I am very sorry to hear your news Sweetkitty
I have lost two babies this year and know how hard it is. But I cannot thank my fellow mumsnetters enough for getting me through. Hope you are ok and make sure you take some time out for yourself. Do something you enjoy xx