First Christmas without mum

[Freesia2013]

Hi all, not really sure why posting, perhaps just to share. Mum died in Feb and this year Xmas won't be the same. We've been doing ok as a family but after today (as work colleagues asking me what my plans are etc) I have had to start thinking about it. I've wanted to have Christmas in my own home for a few years but for the first time I have my own home and this doesn't feel right. Also going round to cook at my dad's won't feel right (as it's still my mum's kitchen to me).

Sadly no young children to distract from things. And mum was an amazing cook and always loved Christmas as a good excuse to eat drink and be merry with family and friends.

Possibly going to in-laws but not sure my dad will want to.

Any experiences to share?

[Northumberlandlass]

We have my Mum's sister to deal with, she has Alzheimer's and is getting much worse. Dad is insistent she comes on Christmas Day. She comes most Sundays but it's getting much more difficult as she deteriorates.

I have 13 yo DS and he is witnessing some distressing behaviour and he has been through so much in last 2 years - H and I separating, his Granny getting Leukaemia (he was there when she got the call), her remission, then dealing with her death. They were very close.

Our family is renowned for just sucking it up and carrying on. I'm not sure it's entirely healthy, but it helped us last Christmas knowing it would be Mum's last one.

It's things like, after lunch on Christmas Day (we always eat early around 1.30), my sister and I would head off home. As we will have been there all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning, but this year we are both worried about leaving my Dad.

My Dad says it's what Mum would've wanted, but I'm not so sure.
My sister and I are worried about my Dad - he has lost both parents, both siblings and now Mum. We are everything.

Sending hugs to everyone. It's going to be tough.

[Truckingalong]

So sorry for everyone's loss.

Spork - I'm in similar circs and its shit isn't it.

[alazuli]

It's my first Xmas without my mum and I'm being forced to work including on Christmas Day and Boxing Day. B*£&ard work! They didn't care that I wanted to be there for my dad. Sorry just needed to vent.

So sorry for you loss OP.