do you treat boys differently to girls?

[chicagomum]

i was in the park earlier and was playing with 6mnth ds throwing him around (not literally before anyone recoils in horror) and generally mild rough housing when a woman commented on it and then said "but i suppose its ok as he's a boy" (she had a small girl with her) it got me thimking do people treat ds's diff to dd's even at this age?

[MarsLady]

nah! I treat mine all the same, except when it comes to football. The girls just aren't interested! lol

[MarsLady]

nah! I treat mine all the same, except when it comes to football. The girls just aren't interested! lol

[MarsLady]

oops, don't know why that happened!

[kid]

Mine were treated the same, DH throws them about. DD refuses to be thrown about now thoughm she is a little girly girl!

DS is happy to play rough and tumble all the time though.

[Janh]

We treated ours the same - DH used to chuck 'em about and I didn't

[coldtea]

I wouldn't say i treat mine differently but they do behave very differently.

Ds is 5 & dd is 22 months. Ds is a typical mummys boy & loves closeness, cuddles kisses etc. He is a thinker & has amazing concentration.

Dd is VERY independant has no time for hugs, she is full of energy, i would say she behaves more like a boy(in a stereotypical way)
though she is still into very girly things.

[hoxtonchick]

i have a ds & will let you know how we act with our new baby girl when she's born in the next few weeks! don't intend to treat them at all differently but we'll see. a friend has a boy & a new girl & goes on & on about their differences, all of which she attributes to their different sexes whereas i am more inclined to think that different children are different.

[kid]

Hi HC, Haven't you had your baby yet?!
BTW, Lost your email address again!

[coldtea]

There was an experiment on child of our time a few years ago where they dressed a baby boy in a pink babygro & a girl in blue to see if unsuspecting parents treated them differently.

The result showed that all that held the boy(dressed in pink) did so in a very gentle way & spoke softly. Those that held the baby in blue did so which a heavier handed approach & spoke louder. Very interesting

[hoxtonchick]

hi kid. noooooooooooooooo. will e-mail you. xxx

[chicagomum]

i agree with hoxtonchick -i also have a dd (3 years) and i do see a lot of differences but don't attribute it to boy/girl rather to 1st child/2nd child (and therefore our more relaxed approach) and simply the character of the individual child. surely at 6months the needs of a child are the same whether male or female. another quetion, do you belive that boys should be treated "tougher" for want of a better word than girls?

[nightowl]

i treat mine exactly the same but ds has always been very gentle whereas dd has no fear and is as hard as nails.

[Tortington]

i have always expected a far higher educational attainment from my dd than my ds's

i value education highly and strongly believe that a way out of poverty is education. as my twins ave got older and i have seen a more natural educational achievement progression for my dd - ihave played it up - she is expected...thats expected to go to university - we talk about getting her a laptop and i found out that if she was entitled to DLA that there would be help towards the cost of digs - so she doesn't have to go to the local uni if she didn't want to....she's 12!

my ds's are going to be in the building trade. my eldest already has a summer job lined up and he will probablyget an apprenticeship out of it - my youngest always wanted to be a chippie like his uncle and by the time he gets to working age his eldest brother will be very well placed to get him in.

my dd dresses like a boy. short hair, jeans all the time, she would die if you bought her a dress. i think this is becuase i could never be arsed to iron frilly dresses when she was little and i always dressed her in lads clothes as they seemed more practicle. however hair and hair products and straight and curly and such are firmly dictated by her peer group

however there is more of an expectation for my dd to be clean? have a bath and wash her hair - or maybe its a lack of understanding of why she doesn't want to do this more regularly and an acceptance that boys will be smelly...i recognise that is wrong.

she fights well..boys as well as girls my youngest ds is a softy and his sister has frequently jumped on the backs of bullies to help him out.


think hat was a long winded way of saying that i treat them individually most of the time. buti do think here is a subconcious element

[Janh]

Re chucking about etc, I was talking about babies, obv...as far as general upbringing is concerned I have had the same expectations of all of them (except the youngest, possibly - he is 12 and has only just started putting his own clothes away).

They have all had to do the same amount of helping around the house (fairly limited, mostly because I don't do a lot myself - emptying dishwasher, putting their clothes away, keeping their rooms tidy hahahahaha) and have all had to get Saturday jobs as soon as they are old enough, and then contribute to the cost of their own clothes, CDs, hobbies etc. They are also all generally responsible for getting themselves to and from places, don't expect taxi service from us and are surprised and pleased on the odd occasion they do get it (particularly from me, DH is much softer).

DS1 (16) has been out on the razz with his sister (23) in Leeds all evening and has "missed" at least 2 buses home. He works at Sainsburys all day Saturday and just rang up to ask if he can pull a sickie tomorrow; I said no, which he was OK with, but DH has just insisted on setting off in the car to pick him up from DD1's house, or else he probably wouldn't get home (apart from anything else he has gone back to her house without a key and all his stuff is inside, durrr.)

And we think babies and toddlers are hard work...