You might get more responses if you start a new thread about this - this one is about 6 years old!
But, to answer your questions here....
Your son isn't being bad or naughty, try not to think of it like that. He's not spoilt, he's far too young to be spoilt, and blaming your husband isn't going to help either. At 16 months ish, he will understand a lot of what is said to him, but won't be able to say enough to explain what he wants. So that will make him frustrated and the only way he has of expressing that is to cry. You haven't done anything to make this happen, it's really common.
Please don't ignore him when he cries. He's trying to tell you that he's unhappy or cross, and ignoring that isn't going to help. This phase will stop eventually - all you can really do is keep being cheerful and positive with him, don't take it personally. Try and distract him with something else if he is upset - change what you're doing and where you are and move on from whatever is annoying him without getting cross. He won't understand "no" at the minute, and if you use it all the time it will lose its meaning and he will start to ignore it. You can't reason with him at this age, he's too young, and telling him off is also pointless. Try and focus on the positives at the moment. So,
For example, tell him when he does something that is nice/kind/gentle and make a big fuss of him, ask him to fetch something for you (is he walking?) and praise him a lot if he does.
If you don't want him in your bed, and he cries if not, then can you stay with him until he settles rather than leaving him to cry? You can do something called "gradual retreat" once he's used to you staying with him till he's asleep, which will mean you eventually can leave him to sleep on his own.