my baby does nothing but cry ALL DAY!

[colnelcustard]

My 15 month old seems to do nothing but cry all day.

She doesn't sleep at night because she spends most of the night waking and screaming.

I don't know what to do. There is nothing medically wrong with her but its driving our family to the edge.

Can someone please help. I'm at the end of my tether with her.

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I do not mean to alarm in the slightest, but I had a child like this. He cried and cried and cried day and night, barely slept a wink. He also had reflux. At 2.5, he was referred for assessment for ASD. He has Aspergers and sensory processing disorder. Once I got the sensory things under control (he couldn't tell me what was wrong and everything "hurt") things were a million percent better. I just wanted to give my input and my own experiences under a similar situation. I can now say at 5, he's a different child thankfully. You have my every sympathy, it's horrendous dealing with something like this .

[Mynd]

I'm also wondering about silent reflux.

My DD was born with it and it went on for 1.5 years - right up until I stopped giving her dairy and acidic fruit. Never slept. Always had to be upright. The acid had really burned her throat and stomach, and I kept her off dairy until she was 3.5 to give things a chance to settle.

Now she's absolutely fine. But God it was a tough first 2 years!

[SpeakNoWords]

You might get more responses if you start a new thread about this - this one is about 6 years old!

But, to answer your questions here....

Your son isn't being bad or naughty, try not to think of it like that. He's not spoilt, he's far too young to be spoilt, and blaming your husband isn't going to help either. At 16 months ish, he will understand a lot of what is said to him, but won't be able to say enough to explain what he wants. So that will make him frustrated and the only way he has of expressing that is to cry. You haven't done anything to make this happen, it's really common.

Please don't ignore him when he cries. He's trying to tell you that he's unhappy or cross, and ignoring that isn't going to help. This phase will stop eventually - all you can really do is keep being cheerful and positive with him, don't take it personally. Try and distract him with something else if he is upset - change what you're doing and where you are and move on from whatever is annoying him without getting cross. He won't understand "no" at the minute, and if you use it all the time it will lose its meaning and he will start to ignore it. You can't reason with him at this age, he's too young, and telling him off is also pointless. Try and focus on the positives at the moment. So,
For example, tell him when he does something that is nice/kind/gentle and make a big fuss of him, ask him to fetch something for you (is he walking?) and praise him a lot if he does.

If you don't want him in your bed, and he cries if not, then can you stay with him until he settles rather than leaving him to cry? You can do something called "gradual retreat" once he's used to you staying with him till he's asleep, which will mean you eventually can leave him to sleep on his own.

[Giovannismama]

My 16 month old is a lot like that. He Cry's about every thing throws himself on the floor .. Screams if he can't get a ball that isn't his screams over and over its tearing my family apart I blamed my husband of not loving him equally because how fussy he is . with all the spoiling I've done ... I made this happen. He Cry's for an hour every night at the top of his lungs to come into bed with us . I just don't know what to do ... I tell him no he screams and hits he wants a dog at the park he screams and Cry's he gets on a swing and wants right off. He ha almost all of his teeth idk is this the terrible 2s or is he teething that I can't see ? Is he spoiled ? I learned recently from reading these other posts that I need to ignore him but he is just crazy loud and sounds like he's being murdered! I wonder what the neighborhood may think of me as a.mother do I scold him .. Reason with him or ignore him ? I don't know because I have tried it all and isn't working I try laying him down when he gets loud or out of control but he doesn't want to lye down so I let him cry a bit take him out and well he's bad again .

[meandjoe]

Sorry research Dr William Sears not sear

[meandjoe]

Dolly, my baby was like this. I am sure if you search on here you will find endless threads started by me when my son was around the same age as your daughter. It was just the mmost awful experience of my life. We felt just like you describe, exhausted and I just wanted to run away. He cried endlessly, just didn't matter what I did, although weirdly, he did sleep well at night time but he refused to nap EVER and screamed constantly until I walked around with him and juggled him about! He seemed to need constant movement and stimulaton.

If you research Dr William Sear High Needs babies on the internet you may find a lot of helpful info. You don't have to take all his advice, it's a personal thing and every baby is different (for example he recommends co sleeping with your baby but my ds slept well at night in his own cot thankfully! If I tried to put him in with us, he was restless and thrashed about and was more likey to wake up). But it was very useful to me to know that I wasn't alone and there were other babies like this.

We had him at the doctors, health visitors all the time but there was never any medical reson given for it. Tried reflux medication, changed his milk, cut out dairy, nothing worked.

All I can tell you is that it did improve steadily. VERY slowly. By his 1st birthday he was walking and whilst still clingy and sensitive, he was bearable! Gradually our life returned and ds cheered up dramatically once he could talk at around 16 months.

It was hard work but it's over now. Our beautiful son turns 3 tomorrow and I couldn't be happier with our life. It was so worth it. He is just the most polite and chatty, funny little boy. It really doesn't last forever I promise. Sorry I seem to have rambled on as usual but I'd go get her checked at the doctors to rule out any other problems or maybe increase the reflux medication but other than that all you can do is cope day to day and I promise it does get better. Some babies are just harder work than others.

[ppeatfruit]

Why not change her milk or not give her any milk (i don't know if you've tried this.) But crying is not just to annoy carers, other OP's it is a sign that something is not right.

[Lynli]

My DN was like this many years ago, it turned out to be lactose intolerance. When my DD2 was born she was the same I introduced soya milk and she changed to the perfect baby.

[Dolly2010]

I have a 5 month old daughter and she is driving me and her dad mad. I am tearful, angry, fed up and feel like walking away. My daughter cries all day no matter what i do and i do everything for her to try and make her happy and content. she always had wind, she has sight reflux but its better with medicine but she is never happy for long or contented, which makes daily life hard as all i hear is crying and severe screaming like a temper tantrum. i am now getting her tested for food intolerences but even a cuddle doesnt do it she still whinges and cries!!!! i cant physically walk round with her all day as i have another child and chores to do too!! we have no real life now and we are dreading our much deserved break away, even meal times she kicks off every night and she ends up upstairs just so we can have a decent meal and breathe!!! HELP!!!

[thisisthelast]

Just wondered how things are going catchymonkey? Hope things are going ok.

Any improvements or diagnosis? (I am asking with the hope that something can help my dd too )

[ginseng]

mine had/have a milk called SMA LF (lactose free) it is prescribed but you can buy in in boots too, its expensive but you could buy a tin and see if it helps her. My DS was diagnosed while in hosptial from a poo sample but my daughter was diagnosed from her symptoms as they were the same as my sons. as for wheat, my friend just took it out of her diet, you can get lots now that is wheat and gluten free, including pasta, pizza, bread etc.

It could be what another poster said and she just is very frustrated with being a baby, my DD was like this but is much better since crawling. it sounds like you really need a break, I would try the diet and the silent reflux also sounds so painful, i don't know about it though.

x

[meandmyjoe]

My ds can sometimes be like this but reflux meds made no difference, he didn't throw up at all though but I know they don't always. He often just walks around crying if I won't pick him up or do what he wants. Might be worth looking into it though and let us know what happens. I really think my ds is just bad tempered. He also kicks off for everything, just me standing up and answering the phone can p**s him off. No rhyme or reason to it, he's just grumpy but not all the time, he is lovely when he gets his own way!

[colnelcustard]

Thanks for all your help. I am going to keep pushing with the paediatrican and see if I can perhaps get soya on prescription as it is v. expensive (for me anyway).

Once I have exhausted the medical route I will have to get tough with her. Or just except that its her personality and hope she grows out of it.

Hopefully that will be soon because i am effing knackered. going into hosptial on friday for an operation and looking forward to it to get some peace!

[londontipton]

Hi catchymonkey, just wanted to give a different slant here.

My DD1 sounds very similar yto yours. She cried almost constantly for 2 years. We had all manner of investigations, cranial osteopathy, allergy tests etc etc. All clear.

She suffered from something called continual crying. Basically she HATED being a baby despite all the co-sleeping, bfing, sling wearing. Some children are just born this way. I had to accept this was a horrid phase of her life. I put in an ipod (in MY ears) and gave her as much comfort as I could. (I also started smoking again as so stressed).

This could be a sign that she is a highly sensitive child (there is lots of books out there that cover this).

There is light at the end of the tunnel, my DD1 is now a fabulous happy go lucky 6 year old.

There used to be a charity called CRYSIS for mothers of intensely crying babies, please check if they still exist, they literally stopped me from killing myself.

[LunaFairy]

My ds had eczema as a baby. We couldn't get on with breastfeeding so had to resort to formula. He came out in bad eczema when he was about 4/5 months old. I had a feeling it was the formula so I took him to the GP and I requested he was put on soya formula. They didn't argue and said they couldn't do allergy tests on him until he turned 1. Within 1 wk of him being on SMA Soya his skin cleared. I had spent weeks prior to this using every eczema cream going! I'm so glad I cracked the problem early. I carried on with the forumula until he was 16 months old and then went on to normal soya milk. He doesn't like cows milk, but has enough calcium with cheese and yoghurts - he is also a big strong lad!

It might be worth giving the Soya a go.

[CarGirl]

The waking up screaming is absolutely what my dd did with her silent reflux. I would go back and ask to have the tests done.

Do you still have infant gaviscon in the house? It isn't dangerous to give it to your child if they don't have reflux (with silent or not) so I would get a pescription and dose her up for 4/5 days (it can take a whilte to see results) to see if it makes a notable difference. The tests to diagnose acid reflux are unpleasant so this is a much quicker/easier to help eliminate it as an issue IYSWIM.

It is possible for a child to have both silent & classic reflux and for one to go and the other remain. some dc just produce to much acid and can grow out of it at any point.

This is just what I learnt through my dd having it.

[colnelcustard]

She is cranky and the slightest thing will start her off crying. Yesterday all she did was walk around crying.

Its just so tiring listening to it.

When she cries at night, she is in full flow. Its not like she starts slowly she literally wakes up screaming

I looked at Soya Milk today whilst at Tescos but it doesn't advise giving it as a main milk unti 2 years old.

As I said previously, her reflux was horrendous she would throw up constnatly and was admitted to hospital three times in the the first six weeks.

She is under the paediatrican. They did say that they would consider putting a tube down her throat when she was a baby perhaps they would reconsider doing this to see what's going on in there. As nothing shows up on scans. Although x rays did show that she was refluxing.

I might have to push the paediatrican back down this route.

[meandmyjoe]

Mmm this does sound like you are worried there is something medically wrong. I would take her back to the doctors and state that you want her allergy tested. unfortunately if it's just an intollerance rather than an allergy then it won't show on any tests so it may just be a case of elliminating things from her diet.

Is she just generally cranky in the day or does she litterally cry for long periods every day? What works to soothe her?

[colnelcustard]

amy jo - can yu just let me know what you have done to deal with it. obviously i don't want to pry but anything would help thnks.

[girrafey]

OH my god, im so so sorry about the length of that. im 35 weeks pregnant and finding it all stressfull! sorry again for taking over. hope it helps though. x

[girrafey]

Hi. your dd sounds like she is still sufferimg from internal problems. we are going through exactly the same thing with my ds. He was diagnosed with silent reflux at 2 weeks and has been on a pharmacy's worth of drugs ever since. Which made a huge difference. However, people forget that medicines wear off, espiecially at night. he will settle ok at 7 ish but starts his night waking from 10 through the night till a climax at 4am. We found ways of dealing with it and in our own way beating it. This made coping with it bearable.

However when it was time to wean it all went very wtong. He is 12 months now and can only manage a few spoonfulls of custard or porridge. His stomach can not tolerate any food. The silent reflux is so bad that he associates it with pain and does not eat.

We were told for months to leave it and when he could sit etc it would improve. well he eventually learnt to sit a month or so ago and no better.

2 weeks ago he was in hospital on a drip for 5 days due to dehydration. (d and v bug, couldnt shift it after a week)

I mentioned the reflux and eating problems in general as he hasnt doubled his birth weight yet as he is so small. The consultant hit the roof that her collegue (sp) hadnt refered him to her and she thinks his intestines and stomach are the wrong way!!! we got the letter through yesterday and go in 2 weeks for more tests.

If you mentioned that your dd had silent reflux when smaller, there is a chance she may still be suffering alot. Eating little and often is a classic sign. Personally i would demand that your gp refers you to get her seen it. If it all comes back clear then thats great on the medical side and you know you can get tough with her without worrying about it being pain related.

[colnelcustard]

when she was a tiny baby i was told to stop breastfeeding her after two weeks as she could have been intolerant to my milk. she was then put on a formula called enfamil to see if it helped, which it didn't.

how would i go about getting her allergy tested? is there a specific test or is it up to me.

i really want to knock this on the head. i feel like my relationship is on the brink as we are both snappy and tired all the time.

because she sleeps in with my son i can't really leave her to cry because even though he seems to sleep through it he obviously isn't getting a decent nights sleep as i have really trouble with him in the mornings.

[ginseng]

My 2 have a lactose allergy and my first was terrible as i didnt know about it and he was really bad at night, and terrible about an hour after eating, he had awful trapped wind, tummy ache and acne as soon as we found out he changed instantly to a calm little boy. My friends baby was like your DD and she found out about a lactose allergy at 9 months ,and also a wheat allergy, once they were taken out of her diet she was also a calm different child she sounds a lot like your DD, my friend was on anti depressants she was so low with it all, but unfortunately she learnt bad sleeping pattern but its getting better.

you could try cutting out wheat/dairy for a week and seeing if it helps.

I can really understand how it gets you down it really affects the family, I do hope that she settles soon. x

[Sunflower100]

Have you investigated possible milk intolerance?